I would wait...

[daughter of the moon]

There’s nothing I want more than to meet the one who’d be the man of my dreams, and to spend my life with him. Nothing scares me more than the thought that I may never have this; not the prospect of possibly becoming unemployed here in a couple of months, nor anything else.

My biggest problem with the whole thing is that there’s no certainty. Well-meaning people keep telling us that everybody will find their’s eventually, but the reality is: So many people remain alone all their lives; probably the vast majority of all people. It’s simply not true that everybody will meet their life partner eventually. The lottery is not about finding the right person for you; it’s about whether or not you’ll find someone at all.

This is the most heart-breaking thing for me. If I at least knew for sure that I’d meet “my” man, I would be glad to wait for as long as it would take. I’d wait another 30 years if I’d have to. I already have waited so long. Sure, I’d get impatient a lot, but knowing that yes, there’s one set date somewhere down the road where it will all pay out, that would be worth it.

But there’s no such certainty. I might be the one remaining alone all my life, ending up in a single burial spot. How do you deal with that? Can you? The only thing to cling to is hope, and hope is… well, certainly reliable, but doesn’t give any promises. All it does is help drag you through another day, when nothing else will.

The most important thing in life, and you don’t even know if you’re going to be lucky enough to find it. The ease with which other people, much younger than me, have already found the love of their lives. Devastating.

I guess I’ll wait… and see.

 

[Seeker]

Hey, daughter, good to see a new threat of yours.

If you ask me, don't waste time expecting the perfect man to come. If there is something I have learned, both from my own relationships and my friends', is that no matter how happy a couple may seem together, as soon as they shut the door of the house behind them, fights start, insults are exchanged and people get hurt. No matter how compatible we are with someone, relationships take time and work to develop, and even then, they are not perfect. Couples will always argue, no matter how much they enjoy each other. So, my advise to you is, stop looking for something perfect, instead look for the one with as less flaws possible, and then accept his flows as part of him, while making sure he accepts your flows too. You, as a woman, naturally have the last word in accepting a relationship or not, so use it as best as you can, just don't compromise for ********.

 

[daughter of the moon]

Hey, daughter, good to see a new threat of yours.

If you ask me, don't waste time expecting the perfect man to come. If there is something I have learned, both from my own relationships and my friends', is that no matter how happy a couple may seem together, as soon as they shut the door of the house behind them, fights start, insults are exchanged and people get hurt. No matter how compatible we are with someone, relationships take time and work to develop, and even then, they are not perfect. Couples will always argue, no matter how much they enjoy each other. So, my advise to you is, stop looking for something perfect, instead look for the one with as less flaws possible, and then accept his flows as part of him, while making sure he accepts your flows too. You, as a woman, naturally have the last word in accepting a relationship or not, so use it as best as you can, just don't compromise for ********.

Ha!

Yes. But that wasn't actually the point of my post, you see? But thanks regardless, I had a feeling you'd be the first to respond.

 

[Seeker]

Nevermind, got it, don't really know what to answer though ;p

 

[Tiina63]

Hi daghter of the moon, I understand you so well because I am the same. My one hope is that I will finally meet the right person and settle down with him. This hope has kept me going through the pain of losing loved ones, major health problems, deep, deep loneliness and being unable to work. If I gave up this hope, there would be nothing left for me to hold on to.
It is easy for people to say to you to make an independent life for yourself, to concentrate on hobbies or work etc and not to want a relationship so deeply, but when your heart is crying out to give and to receive love from the right person, to have him at your side through good times and bad, then the idea of an independent life is empty and pointless at its core.
I wish you all the best and hope that you find the man who is right for you.

 

[daughter of the moon]

Nevermind, got it, don't really know what to answer though ;p

That's quite alright, I feel like that most of the time, that's why the number of my actual responses is pretty limited on here. Probably just as well, huh?

---

Hi daghter of the moon, I understand you so well because I am the same. My one hope is that I will finally meet the right person and settle down with him. This hope has kept me going through the pain of losing loved ones, major health problems, deep, deep loneliness and being unable to work. If I gave up this hope, there would be nothing left for me to hold on to.
It is easy for people to say to you to make an independent life for yourself, to concentrate on hobbies or work etc and not to want a relationship so deeply, but when your heart is crying out to give and to receive love from the right person, to have him at your side through good times and bad, then the idea of an independent life is empty and pointless at its core.
I wish you all the best and hope that you find the man who is right for you.

I could not agree with you more, Tiina. If you feel there's something missing in your life, you're stuck with it. Hobbies and work and stuff won't fill the hole (at least not all the way), because they simply respond to other notions within us humans.
See, technically I don't have a bad life at all. I have a nice big apartment, a pretty decently paying job (though that might change by the end of the year), all my materialistic needs are provided for. I don't really have any friends, but luckily I'm an introvert, so I cherish the alone times I get. I was doing very very well with all this for the past couple of months, feeling almost happy
But you're right, there's just no substitute if you yearn for something as essential as love, especially if you've felt like this all your life. That's why I'll keep crumbling to pieces over and over again in the future. And especially knowing what I've realized now: That not everybody gets a partner. Simple as that.

I also wish you all the best and hope that there's a man who's meant for you, and that fate (or whatever) will bring you together soon <3

 

[a lonely person]

The most important thing in life, and you don’t even know if you’re going to be lucky enough to find it.

First of all, I dont think so. Besides There is no certainty of anything in life, if you think about it (except for death).
Now, would say, there is none in the world "meant for you", even if a lot of people like to believe in faith or destiny, I dont think that helps, expecting to find a soulmate, your perfect partner, the one you are destinated to be the rest of your life, would only lead to dissapointment, or even worst, not finding anyone at all. Read this article 5 Ways You Sabotage Your Love Life (Explained by Science).

 

[daughter of the moon]

The most important thing in life, and you don’t even know if you’re going to be lucky enough to find it.

First of all, I dont think so. Besides There is no certainty of anything in life, if you think about it (except for death).
Now, would say, there is none in the world "meant for you", even if a lot of people like to believe in faith or destiny, I dont think that helps, expecting to find a soulmate, your perfect partner, the one you are destinated to be the rest of your life, would only lead to dissapointment, or even worst, not finding anyone at all. Read this article 5 Ways You Sabotage Your Love Life (Explained by Science).

Well, again.... I don't think you got my point. I wasn't talking about fear of not finding a perfect partner - I don't think I even used the word "perfect". It's about fear of not finding anyone at all, which unfortunately is a real possibility for most everyone in life.

 

[a lonely person]

Well its just that unless you have social anxiety or something like that, even when its a possibility, its very unlikely that you wont find "anyone at all" (I bet if you get out of your house, you will "find anyone" in less than a minute). Have you never been in a relationship?

 

[daughter of the moon]

Well its just that unless you have social anxiety or something like that, even when its a possibility, its very unlikely that you wont find "anyone at all" (I bet if you get out of your house, you will "find anyone" in less than a minute). Have you never been in a relationship?

Yes I have, but I sabotaged myself greatly by just settling for a couple of anyone's, simply because I wanted the experience so much. I'm not asking for perfect, but I'm not going to take just anyone anymore either. I guess the confusion up there was caused by my use of the term "man of my dreams", which some of you guys interpreted as "the perfect man". I guess we all have an ideal picture, but rest assured that I'm grown up enough to paint that picture far from perfect

And on a different note, you seem to be a lot into semantics. I studied linguistics once and it's a great topic, but not always the best approach towards people who are just pouring their hearts out on here looking for a moment of sympathy.

 

[a lonely person]

Yes I have, but I sabotaged myself greatly by just settling for a couple of anyone's, simply because I wanted the experience so much. I'm not asking for perfect, but I'm not going to take just anyone anymore either. I guess the confusion up there was caused by my use of the term "man of my dreams", which some of you guys interpreted as "the perfect man". I guess we all have an ideal picture, but rest assured that I'm grown up enough to paint that picture far from perfect

And on a different note, you seem to be a lot into semantics. I studied linguistics once and it's a great topic, but not always the best approach towards people who are just pouring their hearts out on here looking for a moment of sympathy.

Well as I told you already, even when its a possibility, its very unlikely you wont find anyone (if your expectations are reasonable), sure there is no complete certainty, but its just like everything else in life. I also dont think thats the most important thing in life (or maybe you are fine in all the other aspects of your life? in that case your situation is not bad). But maybe I should have just said I know how you feel (without knowing how you feel) and talk about destiny and that you will meet someone because you are a great person (without knowing you) and then write *hugs*. *Hugs*

 

[daughter of the moon]

Yes I have, but I sabotaged myself greatly by just settling for a couple of anyone's, simply because I wanted the experience so much. I'm not asking for perfect, but I'm not going to take just anyone anymore either. I guess the confusion up there was caused by my use of the term "man of my dreams", which some of you guys interpreted as "the perfect man". I guess we all have an ideal picture, but rest assured that I'm grown up enough to paint that picture far from perfect

And on a different note, you seem to be a lot into semantics. I studied linguistics once and it's a great topic, but not always the best approach towards people who are just pouring their hearts out on here looking for a moment of sympathy.

Well as I told you already, even when its a possibility, its very unlikely you wont find anyone (if your expectations are reasonable), sure there is no complete certainty, but its just like everything else in life. I also dont think thats the most important thing in life (or maybe you are fine in all the other aspects of your life? in that case your situation is not bad). But maybe I should have just said I know how you feel (without knowing how you feel) and talk about destiny and that you will meet someone because you are a great person (without knowing you) and then write *hugs*. *Hugs*

lol That actually made me chuckle. Thank you.