If you could change something, what would it be?

[sweet*swirl]

Now, i am SURE at some point we have all either been in a relationship and made a complete mess of it, OR approached someone we "wanted to be in a relationship with", and yes, made a complete mess of it,

So my question: If you could change something, what would it be?

For me, quite honestly, i wouldnt have been such a selfish cow and would not have had "head stuck up own arse" syndrome for the duration of the relationship....

Live and learn eh!!

 

[jjam]

sorry

 

[Sci-Fi]

Nothing really, we either weren't really "meant for each other" or it was circumstances out of our control. One girl's family moved away for her mothers career, and another, more recent one was what she did. I was there for her all through her problems, I was her "voice of reason" - her words, and a shoulder for her to cry on and her emotional support. She turned around and stabbed me in the back.

I guess if I could I would go back to when she asked me if I still had feelings for her and said no.

 

[sweet*swirl]

Nothing really, we either weren't really "meant for each other" or it was circumstances out of our control. One girl's family moved away for her mothers career, and another, more recent one was what she did. I was there for her all through her problems, I was her "voice of reason" - her words, and a shoulder for her to cry on and her emotional support. She turned around and stabbed me in the back.

I guess if I could I would go back to when she asked me if I still had feelings for her and said no.

Sorry to hear that

 

[freedom]

actually, i think i would have been more aggressive with her. i think the reason she left me was because i was too nice. girls are into jerks these days.

this is how i learned that nice guys really do finish last. that's pretty much why today i'm an a-hole 99% of the time, and i've yet to run out of girls to choose to go on dates with.

 

[ShybutHi]

Now, i am SURE at some point we have all either been in a relationship and made a complete mess of it, OR approached someone we "wanted to be in a relationship with", and yes, made a complete mess of it,

So my question: If you could change something, what would it be?

For me, quite honestly, i wouldnt have been such a selfish cow and would not have had "head stuck up own arse" syndrome for the duration of the relationship....

Live and learn eh!!

I acted like a stupid ignorant selfish teenager. I actually was a teenager though and so was she, everything was moving too fast for me or so I thought at the time, I got scared and ended things. Nothing wrong with her or the relationship at all, it was just my selfish perception and lack of experience I think... There were no arguments or anything, just my stupid choice because i was too ignorant and lost in life. Sadly I will most likely never find someone who likes me like she did. I think for her the whole breakup was pretty "out of the blue" and I think I might of hurt her quite badly, that was about 8 years ago now and I have learnt from my mistake. Im such an idiot.

 

[sweet*swirl]

Now, i am SURE at some point we have all either been in a relationship and made a complete mess of it, OR approached someone we "wanted to be in a relationship with", and yes, made a complete mess of it,

So my question: If you could change something, what would it be?

For me, quite honestly, i wouldnt have been such a selfish cow and would not have had "head stuck up own arse" syndrome for the duration of the relationship....

Live and learn eh!!

Yes, I acted like a stupid ignorant selfish teenager. I was actually a teenager though and so was she, everything was moving too fast, I got scared and ended things. Nothing wrong with her or the realtionship at all, it was just my selfish perception and lack of experience... There were no arguments or anything, just my stupid choice because i was too ignorant and lost in life. That was about 8 years ago now and I have learnt from my mistake.

I like this reply, i may have had my head up my arse but reading that totally clicks into my ex's behaviour...

I guess its true what they say about mistakes becoming experiances which we learn from, guess it makes 2 of us

---

actually, i think i would have been more aggressive with her. i think the reason she left me was because i was too nice. girls are into jerks these days.

this is how i learned that nice guys really do finish last. that's pretty much why today i'm an a-hole 99% of the time, and i've yet to run out of girls to choose to go on dates with.

Nooooo, we dont like ass holes

But being too nice runs the risk of girls becoming "selfish cows" heh

As long as you are happy now??

 

[ShybutHi]

I like this reply, i may have had my head up my arse but reading that totally clicks into my ex's behaviour...

I guess its true what they say about mistakes becoming experiances which we learn from, guess it makes 2 of us

It makes me feel like such an ass. She was such a nice person and she obviously liked me alot literally from the first time she met me... Instant attraction. First and only girlfriend for me, most likely my last considering im so ugly, really shy and have next to no relationship experience.

If things were different I really wouldnt be surprised if we would still be together. She is one of those people who is 100% commited to relationships and is a really honest and nice person, we had very similar views, interests and even quite a few similar physical features.

Whenever I have seen her in the recent past she puts herself down infront of me and also compliments me. Like calling me a genius which I overheard. She calls herself stupid infront of me, insulted herself multiple times when I was there and she is so not the type of person who I would of seen doing this because she generally has such a loving nature.

Oh well she is actually married now, she does this even while her husband is there. He was one of my old friends who actually told me that he likes her while I was going out with her and after we brok up he asked her out. Now she is married to him.

As you said, atleast we learnt something from these experiences.

 

[sweet*swirl]

I like this reply, i may have had my head up my arse but reading that totally clicks into my ex's behaviour...

I guess its true what they say about mistakes becoming experiances which we learn from, guess it makes 2 of us

It makes me feel like such an ass. She was such a nice person and she obviously liked me alot literally from the first time she met me... Instant attraction. First and only girlfriend for me, most likely my last considering im so ugly, really shy and have next to no relationship experience.

If things were different I really wouldnt be surprised if we would still be together. She is one of those people who is 100% commited to relationships and is a really honest and nice person, we had very similar views, interests and even quite a few similar physical features.

Whenever I have seen her in the recent past she puts herself down infront of me and also compliments me. Like calling me a genius which I overheard. She calls herself stupid infront of me, insulted herself multiple times when I was there and she is so not the type of person who I would of seen doing this because she generally has such a loving nature.

Oh well she is actually married now, she does this even while her husband is there. He was one of my old friends who actually told me that he likes her while I was going out with her and after we brok up he asked her out. Now she is married to him.

---

I like this reply, i may have had my head up my arse but reading that totally clicks into my ex's behaviour...

I guess its true what they say about mistakes becoming experiances which we learn from, guess it makes 2 of us

It makes me feel like such an ass. She was such a nice person and she obviously liked me alot literally from the first time she met me... Instant attraction. First and only girlfriend for me, most likely my last considering im so ugly, really shy and have next to no relationship experience.

If things were different I really wouldnt be surprised if we would still be together. She is one of those people who is 100% commited to relationships and is a really honest and nice person, we had very similar views, interests and even quite a few similar physical features.

Whenever I have seen her in the recent past she puts herself down infront of me and also compliments me. Like calling me a genius which I overheard. She calls herself stupid infront of me, insulted herself multiple times when I was there and she is so not the type of person who I would of seen doing this because she generally has such a loving nature.

Oh well she is actually married now, she does this even while her husband is there. He was one of my old friends who actually told me that he likes her while I was going out with her and after we brok up he asked her out. Now she is married to him.

Such a shame isnt it, your relationship sounds alot like mine and my ex's. I was his first G/F and i guess he didnt really know what to expect. We broke up in the first year as he felt things were going too quickly... all because his parents were asking him questions.

Dont get me wrong. He had his moments where he could make me feel like utter ****. But i guess the majority of those were because he was mixed up in some way too.

He came back, we moved in together, and then one day, and i really do mean, "one day" something changed and he just suddenly announed he was leaving.

I still dont know why, i still see him, he hasnt met anyone since that i am aware of. Such a shame isnt it.

But wow, a friend of yours... must have been very hard for you over the years.

 

[Badjedidude]

I wouldn't change anything, really.

Mistakes teach us things about ourselves and about the world at large. Without relationship problems, we'd never learn to appreciate how awesome a good relationship could truly be.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Not being so passive-aggressive.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I should be sociable, talkative. I speak a lot, but I didn't dare show it to others... I'm too shy in every relationship. :/

 

[allanh]

Just to start by saying that I have never being in a romantic relationship. However, I have TRIED to get into 2, without success.

Now, what would I have done differently?

1. I would try to act more normally around her, not trying to push the pace. I believe I was given some bad advice by a friend who said slow pace=friendzoned
2. I would try to know more people (female specifically) at once and try to divide my attention amongst them
3. I would try to not to fall for someone so easily. I tend to start developing a feeling for someone within first few days of meeting her, as long as she is nicer to me than what I normally experience
4. I would try to learn a few chapters from PUA textbooks next time and learn a few signs of interest tips before approaching women again. It sucks really badly to have oneitis

I will edit this thread a bit once I can think of more. That's all I can muster up for now