Im so lonely and down on myself all the time!

[Zayden]

Hello,

Im just going to share some of my backstory and tell everyone whats going on and see what if anything anyone can offer.

When I was about 10 years old, I had to have a life changing surgery to correct a problem with my leg. During that year and half period in my life I had to be heavily medicated due to the ammount of pain I was in on a daily basis (ilizarov Device was implanted on my leg). I was taking uppers and downers and lefters and righters and half the time I was not even aware of what was going on. Because of this state and being bedridden for a year I gained about 200lbs...I am now 24 and weigh just over 300 pounds. Last year I lost 105 pounds and for once seemed happy in my life, I seem to hit this wall at 315 where the diet and exercise just isnt enough. I thought that losing all that weight would make me happy but Long story short...I have lost all my confindence in the world and because of this I have many insecuritys about talking to women and being open with people. Without going into to much more detail, I come from a divorced family and alot of really ****** up **** in my past and now I live on my own and its just me...each and everyday...nobody to talk to, nobody to listen. I have no idea why im sitting here all alone everyday but I just cant shake this...

So I turn to you...any advice at all...anyone been through something traumatic that altered your whole perception on life???????

 

[Sean]

I'd just say stick to the excersise, you'll be greatful you did in the future.

 

[Solitary]

I agree with Sean, don't give up on exercising. And remember that you are not alone in being lonely.

 

[Yukhi]

Hey Zayden I'm approximately 250 lbs right now but started going to the gym last week. In around 6 months we're both going to look way better xD

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything traumatic?? Hmmm... I was a child abuse victim. I never told on my dad. That pretty much altered my perception in life. I grew up scared of my dad. It eventually led me to being socially awkward with people. It is so true how some articles say too much spanking can lead to being anti-social. I'm an alive example

 

[Zayden]

I know, its so hard to find the energy...ugg

Thanks for the reply

I'd just say stick to the excersise, you'll be greatful you did in the future.

---

Ty for the kind words

I agree with Sean, don't give up on exercising. And remember that you are not alone in being lonely.

---

I would love to talk more in PM sometime if you want to..it might be nice to talk to someone in private that really understands what having a ****** up past can do to you.

If you want..PM ME and i will return your PM!

thank you Yukhi

Hey Zayden I'm approximately 250 lbs right now but started going to the gym last week. In around 6 months we're both going to look way better xD

WE CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything traumatic?? Hmmm... I was a child abuse victim. I never told on my dad. That pretty much altered my perception in life. I grew up scared of my dad. It eventually led me to being socially awkward with people. It is so true how some articles say too much spanking can lead to being anti-social. I'm an alive example

 

[sadface]

It really hurts me when people come to this forum looking for advice with big problems, or problems that have plagued you for long periods of times. We can nudge you, we can tell you our own experiences, but believe me when I say, that is all we can do - if you need help, no one here is going to be able to give you the sound advice that a professional can.

I feel like I say this in reply to too many posts, but it's seems like so many posters need to hear this.

Also, I find it really ridiculous that everyones' replies here dear directly with him losing weight. Yes that is a start, but if he has had these issues all his life (and many others, it sounds like), than losing the weight isn't going to help, unless he starts to address some of that.

 

[Yukhi]

Sadface pretty much has a valid point. No sugarcoating there xD

For me at least, I think establishing connections with different people who more or less have felt or are feeling the same way can be uplifting for one's spirit even if it's in a forum. It's limited in comparison to really going to see a therapist and possibly even communicating with people irl but it sort of provides temporary relief. It's a decent starting point. So in my opinion, Zayden made a good choice in choosing to start off on his journey joining this forum and telling us all about his experiences

 

[Zayden]

This is exactly what I dont need...it really hurts you...im posting in a forum about loneliness about my loneliness...Its nice that you put your two cents in on the topic, but you didnt share a single thing there but critizism...when your done with that angle..why dont you lay a little realism on me and share something of your story...or do you just troll these forums making new members feel bad>?

It really hurts me when people come to this forum looking for advice with big problems, or problems that have plagued you for long periods of times. We can nudge you, we can tell you our own experiences, but believe me when I say, that is all we can do - if you need help, no one here is going to be able to give you the sound advice that a professional can.

I feel like I say this in reply to too many posts, but it's seems like so many posters need to hear this.

Also, I find it really ridiculous that everyones' replies here dear directly with him losing weight. Yes that is a start, but if he has had these issues all his life (and many others, it sounds like), than losing the weight isn't going to help, unless he starts to address some of that.

---

I can see already why your reputation is a 6...I will be PMing you soon

Sadface pretty much has a valid point. No sugarcoating there xD

For me at least, I think establishing connections with different people who more or less have felt or are feeling the same way can be uplifting for one's spirit even if it's in a forum. It's limited in comparison to really going to see a therapist and possibly even communicating with people irl but it sort of provides temporary relief. It's a decent starting point. So in my opinion, Zayden made a good choice in choosing to start off on his journey joining this forum and telling us all about his experiences

 

[sadface]

I'm not trying to make you feel bad at all - I'm trying to point out a few things:

1. My advice is that you should talk to a professional, such as a therapist. It's worth it, and really can go a long way.
2. You've already tried losing weight, thinking it would make you happy, but it didn't, and yet everyone here is replying with tips on how to lose weight.
3. Personal stories and anecdotes are all that you should be getting here, as Yukhi said, establishing connections with people in your shoes can be help.
4. While these connections can help, they won't get to the root of your problem, again going back to #1 - you should seek professional advice.

I'm sorry if I made you feel bad somehow, it just scares me that people who need professional help are getting it from a group of unqualified strangers. I can't and will not apologize for feeling this way, and I challenge anyone to disagree with me on it.

That said, welcome to the forums - I hope you like it here.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Wait...who are you calling a troll?

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm sorry if I made you feel bad somehow, it just scares me that people who need professional help are getting it from a group of unqualified strangers. I can't and will not apologize for feeling this way, and I challenge anyone to disagree with me on it.

What I will challenge is your knee-jerk assumption that this problem requires professional help.

I see no problem with the OP receiving similar stories and tips from "unqualified" people, as it is the OP's choice as to whether or not those tips apply or will help his/her situation. No one is forcing the OP to follow the advice, and the advice received is not distructive in nature... so what's the problem?

Not every challenge or problem requires professional help.

 

[Zayden]

Wait...who are you calling a troll?

The matter has been settled, I came here looking for support and it just seemed like Sadface posted just to rant about other posters inability to see the "Real" help they need and instead are looking here for a miracle cure..

I just wanted to talk to other lonely people, there was no reason for his response or him bashing the other people for their kind weightloss remarks.

---

I'm sorry if I made you feel bad somehow, it just scares me that people who need professional help are getting it from a group of unqualified strangers. I can't and will not apologize for feeling this way, and I challenge anyone to disagree with me on it.

What I will challenge is your knee-jerk assumption that this problem requires professional help.

I see no problem with the OP receiving similar stories and tips from "unqualified" people, as it is the OP's choice as to whether or not those tips apply or will help his/her situation. No one is forcing the OP to follow the advice, and the advice received is not distructive in nature... so what's the problem?

Not every challenge or problem requires professional help.

Thank you so much for interjecting, your are truely a great moderator and have really spoken volumes for this great forum.

To Sadface: Please if in the future you see me post something, kindly stay out of it as I "Need professional help" and your not a doctor...so...yea.

-Laters

 

[eris]

I didnt have any health problems but when I was 20 a relationship of 3 years ended and so did my will to live. I went to bed and stayed there about 3 years and when I woke up everyone was gone.

I didnt gain weight, but I was living (without my knowledge) with uncontrolled type 1 diabetes and I felt like **** all the time.

but I woke up.

I woke up and I went to college and after a few years I started to feel better.

20-23 was hell. I hated everything. I barely left my room. I wanted to die.

23-26 was miserable. I hated everyone and ignored people that talked to me. I saw prostitutes but would never consider talking to any of them or anyone else. I still wanted to die, but the fantasy almost became reality and Im surprised im still alive.

at 26 I got help. I got help both mentally and physically and things started to get better. I met the man of my dreams

27 - I got married. Things started to get better.

27-30 things have slowly gotten better and better.

I can almost say Im happy. Almost. Maybe.

but I want to live.

What Im trying to say is that you will "wake up" too. You will wake up and you will go outside and youll live your life. You will mature and you will gain perspective, and the pain you feel will get better

You just have to wake up.


Feel Better

- K

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

sadface is definatly not a troll, and he seems like a nice person, but his posts make me sad sometimes Everything is "I dont understand your feelings" , "you shouldnt feel that way", and "get help"

sometimes people have problems and they want to talk about it. This is a rare place that people can do it.

Go on, vent.

Ill listen.

 

[Zayden]

I didnt have any health problems but when I was 20 a relationship of 3 years ended and so did my will to live. I went to bed and stayed there about 3 years and when I woke up everyone was gone.

I didnt gain weight, but I was living (without my knowledge) with uncontrolled type 1 diabetes and I felt like **** all the time.

but I woke up.

I woke up and I went to college and after a few years I started to feel better.

20-23 was hell. I hated everything. I barely left my room. I wanted to die.

23-26 was miserable. I hated everyone and ignored people that talked to me. I saw prostitutes but would never consider talking to any of them or anyone else. I still wanted to die, but the fantasy almost became reality and Im surprised im still alive.

at 26 I got help. I got help both mentally and physically and things started to get better. I met the man of my dreams

27 - I got married. Things started to get better.

27-30 things have slowly gotten better and better.

I can almost say Im happy. Almost. Maybe.

but I want to live.

What Im trying to say is that you will "wake up" too. You will wake up and you will go outside and youll live your life. You will mature and you will gain perspective, and the pain you feel will get better

You just have to wake up.


Feel Better

- K

Thanks for the reply

 

[Badjedidude]

Thank you so much for interjecting, your are truely a great moderator and have really spoken volumes for this great forum.

lol... I'm not a moderator, but thanks anyway.

 

[Yukhi]

Honestly speaking, when I was really new in this forum I thought BJD was a moderator too xD

 

[eris]

^^^ when I first started coming to the forum I didnt read his name properly and thought it was some long foreign word. A few days later I saw Bad Jedi Dude. Then I felt dumb.

 

[Yukhi]

Shame on BJD for confusing people like that

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Haha... it's not my fault no one stops to take in the details. lol

 

[futurecatlady]

What's with all the hate against Sadface? All I see in his posts in this topic is genuine concern. Perhaps you misread? I don't think that he meant to criticize anyone, but rather share his fear that the lay opinions of strangers cannot replace professional therapy. If I am not mistaken, I think what he saw was a soul that needed more help and nurturing than this forum (or any forum) can provide. To be quite honest, I myself keep from giving advice apart from the occasional pat on the back because I am afraid of inadvertently saying or suggesting something damaging. Not everybody is confident in their own or others' ability to address weighty problems.

Zayden, it's wonderful that you feel like you can address your troubles on your own, and I wish you the best of luck.