I'm weird.

[eris]

I think it's good that you're letting some of this pain from your past out. Getting rid of the past allows you to make space for today and tomorrow.

I agree. I know I'm pretty anonymous, and I'm convinced that 90% of the people here understand. So. I don't expect anyone to read but if someone ever responds to me in this thread I'll talk to you about (most) anything (no pervs)

HERE ARE REALLY GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME

My dads mother babysat me 1-3 times a month when I was little and she was a saint. She was a nurse and it spilled out into her personality. She was from Greece and always tried to get me to learn the language but I don't remember much

I somehow managed to get an excellent education. Got my BA in '07

I met my husband! (waits for applause) We've been married for 3 years and he's the most adorable geek in the world.

My dad payed for my subscription to a local movie rental store. I would rent whatever i wanted. Rated R and even Unrated. I LOVE MOVIES. But I hate most of the films ever made....




A Note on Film

You may have noticed I talk about "weird" movies a lot. I just want to say that doesn't usually mean violent or sexual. What I mean is...avant garde.

I believe in art. And I don't mean Andy Warhol videotaping himself sleeping for 12 hours. I've always hated Andy Warhol but ironically I used to go to his museum at least once a month because I litterally walked past it everyday and there were mostly other artists exibits I really wanted to see. Basquiat was usually featured because he was Warhols protege. I hate Basquiat too

I am speaking mainly of the films of Harmony Korine, John Waters, and Russ Meyer.

In these three filmakers movies there is an idea of beauty found in uglieness. Here are a few examples. In Female Trouble a criminal becomes the muse to photographers that find beauty in her crime. Acid scars make her more beautiful, and she shoots-up eyeliner. Before you get too exited IT IS A COMEDY. Most of the scenes are bizzare and it is extremely overacted. The other example is in Julien Donkey Boy. In once scene, a severely schitzophrenic boy talks to himself about a fantasy world where he is King Julien and he is friends with both Hitler and God. That whole film is a clusterfuck.

One last thing

I did say I believe in beautiful filth, not pure trash. There has to be a beauty even though it may seem like trash. Like a welfare check blowing in the wind. I do also like surreal movies and am a fan of Fellini, David Lynch, and Terry Gilliam ( except for Monty Python.That's just wretched ). There are also many independent and foreign movies that I like. I also like some better known movies. But don't ask me about Avatar. I've never seen it.

 

[Luna]

(((((eris)))))
You more strength in you than you know.
Chin up, and never sell yourself short or let anyone lead you into believing so.

 

[Asterli]

Want to hear something else pretty terrible ?

When I was 9 there was a kids party for halloween at some kind of government run social hall. It was supposed to be a small party, and then the kids would go trick-or-treating, and then everyone would go back to the building to check the candy and have some fun. My mom took me and dropped me off. It turned out that you needed to be registered and be part of a certain group to go to the party. They let me call my mom, but then I had to sit outside. I called my mom, and she yelled at me. She said that she had plans and that she would pick me up when she had originally planned to. I sat outside from the early morning until dark. I was there at least 4-5 hours, and I had nothing to eat or drink. When I got in the car I was crying, and she never said a word to me about what happened

This is really impossible! This is really cold hearted from your mother and why didn't anyone at that rally took care of you when they saw you sitting there for an hour! Instead you had to sit there for 4 or 5 hours. This is so unbelievable and especially the fact that your mother is mad at you afterwards for ruining her plans. It's to cry over.

How is your relationship with your mother now? You're someone to admire because you pulled through in those times.

---

Want to hear something else pretty terrible ?

When I was 9 there was a kids party for halloween at some kind of government run social hall. It was supposed to be a small party, and then the kids would go trick-or-treating, and then everyone would go back to the building to check the candy and have some fun. My mom took me and dropped me off. It turned out that you needed to be registered and be part of a certain group to go to the party. They let me call my mom, but then I had to sit outside. I called my mom, and she yelled at me. She said that she had plans and that she would pick me up when she had originally planned to. I sat outside from the early morning until dark. I was there at least 8 hours, and I had nothing to eat or drink. When I got in the car I was crying, and she never said a word to me about what happened

*Sigh* damn these people who have absolutely no remorse T_T Tsk tsk tsk.

Not only your mom but also the ones in charge who were there at the party. It would have been nice if they still let you join even if you weren't registered right! Most especially since you were just dropped off and you and your mom(maybe she didn't know) didn't know!

Some parents just don't know and can't appreciate the blessing of having children when there are so many infertile couples just dying to have at least one baby.

You are so right, Yukhi!

 

[Nina]

eris...
*hugs* to you! I loved seeing the, "good things" list right up there, front and center. Sometimes the best way to move forward is look back at what was good. YOU, are a strong woman.

I desperately want to find, FemaleTrouble and the Julien Donkey Boy, films now. They both sound intriguing!!

Weird is really just another word for unique and creative.

 

[sadface]

i don't know who that makes me hate more
the government party people or the mom

 

[eris]

Asterli - I still talk to my mom sometimes. She's heavily medicated and doesn't remember anything that ever happened, even important events.

Nina - did you know that you can get any movie online for free ? I can't post about it but ask me privatly and I'll tell you how

sadface - yeah me too but I looked older than 9 and there really wasnt room for me

_______________________________

17-21 were really good years. I had a lot of friends and I did a lot of LSD. I lived in downtown pittsburgh and life was a blur. I had mental issues at 21 and ended up totally isolating myself until I was 26. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I didn't own a phone. I visited female prostitues but barely talked to them. When my house burned down I met a few people, and my husband, but I still have issues and I don't like to be around most people. I just turned 30 and I'm ok I guess

 

[Badjedidude]

Nina - did you know that you can get any movie online for free ? I can't post about it but ask me privatly and I'll tell you how

lol it's not like a big secret.

Just download a torrent manager and go to any number of torrent sites such as PirateBay or Demonoid and download the torrent. Then either enjoy on your computer or burn to disk!

But it's illegal so your ISP might send you a warning letter telling you to cease and desist.

But don't worry about that. A LOT of people do it and never have any problems with the law.

 

[edgecrusher]

i am apparentely weird because unlike most guys im not into certain things and im not a ********* when it comes to women. almost every guy ive met thinks its weird that i have no interest in sports or cars. that i dont like to drink every weekend or go to bars. they also think its weird that i wouldnt just have random sex with some "hot" girl given the opportunity. the older i get though the more i feel like i might be losing my willpower on that last one. i would like to experience it once even if it was some random encounter.

 

[Nina]

Bjd..
Thanks!! I didn't know this! FREEE movies!

 

[ShybutHi]

i am apparentely weird because unlike most guys im not into certain things and im not a ********* when it comes to women. almost every guy ive met thinks its weird that i have no interest in sports or cars. that i dont like to drink every weekend or go to bars. they also think its weird that i wouldnt just have random sex with some "hot" girl given the opportunity. the older i get though the more i feel like i might be losing my willpower on that last one. i would like to experience it once even if it was some random encounter.

I would probably have sex with a random hot girl if the opportunity arose too, although i do believe sex in a proper relationship is probably alot better. But anyway it will never happen, i wont ever meet a girl i like.... im too shy to approach or be approached by anyone i dont know and my looks arnt exactly model standard...

 

[Whenmyheartattacks]

I'm wierd....i've always been wierd...wierd thing is...I don't really look weird...so when people talk to me...they always expect something else... i think it makes people even more uncomfortable....i'm approachable, but people never come back for more... even wierd people think i'm wierd...problem is... i don't know how to stop being wierd.

 

[Asterli]

i am apparentely weird because unlike most guys im not into certain things and im not a ********* when it comes to women. almost every guy ive met thinks its weird that i have no interest in sports or cars. that i dont like to drink every weekend or go to bars. they also think its weird that i wouldnt just have random sex with some "hot" girl given the opportunity. the older i get though the more i feel like i might be losing my willpower on that last one. i would like to experience it once even if it was some random encounter.

Don't be down over this edgecrusher. I think it makes you interesting to women because you have other interests than other men. I can understand that you struggle with this subject, I do too, but it doesn't give me the right to do this. I just want to do it out of real love because I think it will give me more peace of mind.

I don't mean this in a offense way, it's your life but I just giving you my opinion.

 

[pavithra194]

I'm weird. For as long as I can remember, I have been unlike any of my coworkers or peers, especially with regards to dress, conversation, and behavior. For example, I have strong urges to wear bright mismatched clothes with words written on them in marker. I would prefer to have random, free-associating conversations incorporating childhood memory, crappy music videos, objects in the room, and biology. I don't think linearly. I would like to dance in the lobbies of movie theaters. It's not that I don't understand how to fit in, it's just that fitting in is so simultaneously stressful and boring for me. I don't think that I'm exceptional or special, and I'm not seeking attention. If anything, I would prefer to dress oddly so that people know what they're getting into: it is a relief.
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*spam links removed*

 

[eris]

awwww , spammy posted in my thread.

I feel loved <3

 

[QuietGuy]

At least the spammer took the time to find a relevant paragraph from another forum to copy'n'paste here! (see here)

---

almost every guy ive met thinks its weird that i have no interest in sports or cars.

Nothing weird about that. I like watching a few sports, but no interest in playing any of them. Except perhaps pool/snooker and ten-pin bowling, but they don't really count as proper sports when compared to football, basketball, etc. And I have no interest in cars either.

that i dont like to drink every weekend or go to bars.

Neither do I!

they also think its weird that i wouldnt just have random sex with some "hot" girl given the opportunity.

I don't think I would either. I might be tempted, just to experience that intense physical pleasure and intimacy, but I know I'd deeply regret it afterwards.

the older i get though the more i feel like i might be losing my willpower on that last one. i would like to experience it once even if it was some random encounter.

Hmm, perhaps. But your heart would be left stone cold if it was just a random encounter. And that would probably be even worse than to never have had sex at all. Fortunately (!) I've never had any random offers for sex And I hope that when I do eventually lose my virginity, it will be with a girl who I deeply love.

 

[eris]

I dont think any of you are weird in a bad way. I dont think I am either... but weird is just a word to use...

and I went blue today. Is that weird enough for you ?

 

[Cereal]

I love weirdness in general. I don't want to spend my day listening to those "normal people" go on about the same old drivel. Most people I come in contact with look the same, dress the same, speak the same, it's just so tiring, so when those weird folk come out of the floorboards I grasp 'em with both hands.

 

[QuietGuy]

Well said Cereal

It's so refreshing to meet people who aren't afraid to be different. Society puts enormous pressure on people to fit into the "mould of normality", and when they don't fit, they're labelled "weird". Well label me "weird" then - it's a label I'm proud to wear!

One of the great things about spending a lot of time in a cool city like London is you get to meet all sorts of "weird" people who don't care how society labels them. Today I saw quite a few people dressed in the most bizarre and unusual combinations of clothes, and I smiled with gratitude to see they weren't afraid to express their individuality so openly.

 

[Lost Soul]

I'm wierd. I've always been weird. I'm mentally ill but it's more than that. I like weird movies, I like weird music. I dress weird. I say weird things. I'm just weird.

When I was a kid my mom always told me I was weird and no one would like me if I didn't knock it off. I wouldn't say she was abusive as she never beat me but she was very mean and neglectful. I never got birthday presents or school clothes or anything like that.

When I was about 11 I think I finally realized how weird I was. My moms boyfriend was a DJ, and he had a gig at a girls birthday that was about my age. They made me go even though I didn't know anyone. I just sat there quietly. At one point the birthday girl and a few of her friends came up to me and told me I had to leave because it was a private affair. I told her I was with the DJ, but she didn't care and got her mother to make me leave. Her mother told her I wasn't hurting anything and to leave me alone. When I got home he told my mom what happened, and that I didn't even try to make friends. My mom spanked me, and told me I was going to have a hard life. She was right.

That's awful!

Your mother was the one that was weird, not you.

No offense but I agree with Sophie.