In my mid-twenties and still single

[looking glass]

[...]
Why not? I decided to take up the violin a few years ago at age 38. At that time, my child was 3. So I was (and still am) a single parent of a young child. And guess where I work? Full time in an office. I took lessons for 2 years and practiced 5-7 hours a week. I almost never skipped a day of practice. As a bonus, playing the violin is so enjoyable that it helps fill the empty void I feel when I'm alone.
A wise friend once told me "Don't quit before you start".

-Teresa

Thanks for the encouragement but I've been playing guitar for about eight years but there is still so much I need to learn and I need to practice a lot to be able to play the things I want to play.
Ideally I'd have to play three to four hours a day but that's really impossible.

Unfortunately my depression, being alone etc. is so bad sometimes that it interferes with my practice routine and even work. :/

[...]
Why don't I move? I have to say I'm thinking about it but I'm not too sure where to. I don't know how to drive or have a job which kind of limits things but I have some savings that could tide me over for a little while. I just need to stop being a wuss in general really

I'm glad I've given you some ideas to work with.

So where are you from? Here in Germany a driver's license is like between 1000 and 2000 Euros but from what I know it's a lot cheaper in other countries, so you could always try to get one.

It's really difficult to make the first step sometimes - on the other hand, sometimes it's all it takes and everything else will fall into place.

 

[Katerina]

So where are you from? Here in Germany a driver's license is like between 1000 and 2000 Euros but from what I know it's a lot cheaper in other countries, so you could always try to get one.

It's really difficult to make the first step sometimes - on the other hand, sometimes it's all it takes and everything else will fall into place.

I'm in the UK. I did have some driving lessons 2 years ago but I got incredibly nervous about the whole thing even days before the lesson. Maybe having a different instructor would help but for me it was about dealing with other drivers on the road and not feeling in control with what I was doing.

 

[looking glass]

[...]
I'm in the UK. I did have some driving lessons 2 years ago but I got incredibly nervous about the whole thing even days before the lesson. Maybe having a different instructor would help but for me it was about dealing with other drivers on the road and not feeling in control with what I was doing.

I know what you mean. I do have a driver's licence but I essentially never use it. Well, on the one hand we have decent public transportation and the city I wanna move to, which is actually close by, is even better. So I don't need a car.
But I also always get really stressed out when driving a car because I force myself to pay attention to all the others drivers. I mean, that's how accidents happen. At least some of them. Someone didn't do what they were supposed to or didn't look where they were supposed and bam, crash.
I think the instructor can make or break you. I liked my instructor. She was fair most of the time and actually quite nice. However, I heard different stories. I'd encourage you to try a different instructor.

But I dunno... where do you wanna move to, if you would? Maybe they have great public transportation, too, so you wouldn't actually need a car that much. Especially if your flat was close to your potential workplace.

Making plans like these is scary... but exciting at the same time. You should make some plans.

 

[Frodothelost]

every single person is special and uinque.
some get love in 12 some in 20s and some after 30 and some random have it after 50s.

 

[Katerina]

I know what you mean. I do have a driver's licence but I essentially never use it. Well, on the one hand we have decent public transportation and the city I wanna move to, which is actually close by, is even better. So I don't need a car.
But I also always get really stressed out when driving a car because I force myself to pay attention to all the others drivers. I mean, that's how accidents happen. At least some of them. Someone didn't do what they were supposed to or didn't look where they were supposed and bam, crash.
I think the instructor can make or break you. I liked my instructor. She was fair most of the time and actually quite nice. However, I heard different stories. I'd encourage you to try a different instructor.

But I dunno... where do you wanna move to, if you would? Maybe they have great public transportation, too, so you wouldn't actually need a car that much. Especially if your flat was close to your potential workplace.

Making plans like these is scary... but exciting at the same time. You should make some plans.

Probably I would have to move to a good sized town or city so getting around would be a lot easier as well as the job-searching. Not too sure which one though. No sure if it's a good idea just to move locally to the nearest city (which isn't that big and a little expensive) or away further but hopefully to somewhere a little more affordable with more options.

I feel like I'm hijacking your thread a bit but thank you for your advice.

 

[looking glass]

[...]
Probably I would have to move to a good sized town or city so getting around would be a lot easier as well as the job-searching. Not too sure which one though. No sure if it's a good idea just to move locally to the nearest city (which isn't that big and a little expensive) or away further but hopefully to somewhere a little more affordable with more options.

I feel like I'm hijacking your thread a bit but thank you for your advice.

No, it's perfectly fine.
We're all here to help each other, after all. Moving farther away surely is scary, since family etc. will be further away but it can be worth it!

Feel free to drop by and keep us updated.

Currently I'm focusing on find a place to live so I've stopped doing all other activities. At least it keeps on occupied.

 

[differentlonelygirl]

Strange sounds like someone ? If you need hope message me I guess

 

[looking glass]

Strange sounds like someone ? If you need hope message me I guess

Hey, thanks for the offer.


I guess hope is something I could use right now. I've finally moved and I've been one night in the flat share and I already... kinda regret it, I guess? Of course I miss my parents and just miss my home where everything is familiar, I guess that will fade with time.
I also wanted to prove to myself that I could move in with a stranger and share a flat, just live alongside someone. And we do get along.

However, when my flat mate's boyfriend visited us this really put a damper on my spirits. Look, I wasn't gonna hit on her or anything (generally not a good idea to hit on your flat mate - I'm not saying it doesn't work, it's just dangerous) but just seeing all that lovey-dovey behaviour is painful. Just knowing witnessing at such a close proximity how happy someone is in their relationship... it just hurts, you know?
And then I also met this other girl last night and I was thinking how well we hit it off and how well we get along until she mentioned her boyfriend and how everything is so peachy.

Jesus, I cannot take this anymore. All these negative thoughts impair me. I mean seriously hinder me in going to work and working on my dissertation.
It feels like I'm sinking into a depression again and I'm seriously considering trying to find a counsellor. Maybe I'll ask my former psycho therapist whether she can recommend someone because it's hard as nails to find a therapist but I can't really go on like that.

I'm sorry for the rant but I just needed a place to vent. I hope you all understand.

 

[SofiasMami]

I guess hope is something I could use right now. I've finally moved and I've been one night in the flat share and I already... kinda regret it, I guess? Of course I miss my parents and just miss my home where everything is familiar, I guess that will fade with time.
It feels like I'm sinking into a depression again and I'm seriously considering trying to find a counsellor. Maybe I'll ask my former psycho therapist whether she can recommend someone because it's hard as nails to find a therapist but I can't really go on like that.

I'm sorry for the rant but I just needed a place to vent. I hope you all understand.

I just moved too - 9 days ago. I totally get what you're saying. I felt like I made some good decisions during my move but still have little feelings of maybe I made a wrong decision somewhere. Like maybe I should have moved somewhere else. Or maybe I'm paying way too much and what if something happens and I can't afford it. Moving is such a pain! I don't even know where to set my jacket down when I walk in the front door because everything is so unfamiliar! And couple that with already feeling lonely and somewhat isolated - it's just not good.
But I think things will get better and I hope it does for you too. It sounds like you are doing the best you can for yourself & I wish you luck.

-Teresa

 

[Katerina]

Moving out is a big step and can be very stressful and isolating; which probably makes you feel worse when you see your flatmate with their partner. You've only just moved out so bare in mind it's only natural to feel like things are getting a bit overwhelming so give it and yourself some time to adjust. If you're still feeling down after a week or so then I would consider finding a counsellor.

 

[looking glass]

[...]
I just moved too - 9 days ago. I totally get what you're saying. I felt like I made some good decisions during my move but still have little feelings of maybe I made a wrong decision somewhere. Like maybe I should have moved somewhere else. Or maybe I'm paying way too much and what if something happens and I can't afford it. Moving is such a pain! I don't even know where to set my jacket down when I walk in the front door because everything is so unfamiliar! And couple that with already feeling lonely and somewhat isolated - it's just not good.
But I think things will get better and I hope it does for you too. It sounds like you are doing the best you can for yourself & I wish you luck.

-Teresa

Thanks. I totally get what you mean, especially because I'm in a flat share now and I'm constantly afraid that I'll upset my flat mate somehow or make her regret her decision etc. etc.
I've been feeling really down since I moved and soon I'm going to see my psychotherapist to see whether another therapy might be possible (in Germany, after you finished your therapy, you have to wait to years until you can start another one - except if there is a good reason).
It's just so difficult. I've been feeling depressed and unhappy every time I was alone. I might meet friends but as soon as we part ways I always start feeling anxious and just generally bad.
I've also started having suicidal thoughts more frequently. It's a scary thought when thinking of suicide makes you feel relieved.

Moving out is a big step and can be very stressful and isolating; which probably makes you feel worse when you see your flatmate with their partner. You've only just moved out so bare in mind it's only natural to feel like things are getting a bit overwhelming so give it and yourself some time to adjust. If you're still feeling down after a week or so then I would consider finding a counsellor.

Thanks, I'll have to see whether I should pursue this path or whether I'm going to get turned down. Though I don't know whether I'll be able to cope with a rejection.

 

[SophiaGrace]

(hugs)