Incompatibilities between dream and real life

[uninteresting_human]

I am very depressed of the things that are happening with me. I am someone who does not have good face, but good moral values, have been single for last 8 years, have great IT job, but trying to go outside my country.
I have no hope of seeing a flower in my lonely life, and it is definitely because of how I look. But the only thing that was keeping me this far was my willingness to work outside my country to have better life, and I love travelling as well. After applying more than 50 companies, I was interviewed by only 2-3 companies of European countries and I got rejected due to lack of business understanding. Though I am very good at my technical skillset, I got rejected at the business part. Now I am like I have lost all my self esteem. I have no one to talk to, I have no dream to live. Now I am completely blank person.

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

Hello, welcome.
I'm sorry you're feeling so down and life isn't working out lately. It sounds incredibly discouraging to have to go through all that with looking for work. It's understandable that your self esteem would be low. I can identify with the feelings, at certain points in life, as I'm sure plenty of people here can too.
Hopefully you can stick around and find understanding and comfort here on this forum, maybe make new friends, and keep posting.
Try something different, too, if you haven't already. Sometimes the smallest change can be a step toward feeling better. Doesn't have to be a big thing like a class, for example, right away, but you can aim toward that. can be something simple like making a change in your routine.

 

[Efbee]

You're going to have to find yourself another raison d'être or you're going to wither and die just like a flower. Pick yourself up and chase another dream, plenty of them out there...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Okay, you were turned down because of lack of business understanding. Why not get some business understanding and try again? There are millions of companies out there. If you want it, do what needs to be done to get it. I'm sure you can do it.

 

[JJW]

I expect some of your feeling of job rejection is imagined. Not meaning to demean you. It's natural to blame our failures on things beyond our control. My expectation is you were one of many considered. Yes, an IT guy with critical business skills is likely to be more appealing to an employer. But I honestly don't see where business skills are relevant in the IT field. Either you are applying beyond your experience, or you were just a drop in the applicant bucket.

It's not easy being a boss. I rejected an applicant once because he seemed to be anti-authority. The guy I hired turned out to be a major cutup often lacking common sense. I spent the next year wishing I'd hired the other guy. We are fallible.

If you aren't opposed to northwest New Jersey, my wife's company is short on IT people. PM me and I'll give you the name of her company.

I also see you addressed two unrelated issues. You need a job, and you are ugly. You said you are single for 8 years inferring you were married before. Looks aren't everything. But more importantly, there are people that see beyond what you feel are your appearance deficits and see who you are on the inside. The fact that you think you are ugly doesn't mean other's think you are ugly. We are programmed to reject our own appearances (not that all do). It is an innate characteristic to reject people that remind us of us, so we find them and ourselves ugly. It's natures way of avoiding polluting our gene pool. People that look like us are more likely to be related, so we reject our own characteristics.

If your looks aren't a benefit then don't expect to use them. Becoming close to someone can be a time investment. Be yourself. When someone knows you they stop looking at your appearance, and can even begin to find you attractive. Your light can shine brighter than your face, but you have to wait for people to see that.


Some people can get upset over advice, but advice is optional. You don't have to use it. I don't know you. This is based on what you've said and it is intended to be taken generally. Use what you can. Reject what you can't. We are all just trying to help.

And welcome to the board.

ETA: I see in hindsight that you are currently employed and your desire to change jobs is to work in Europe. Still, if you need a change maybe New Jersey could give you a bit more experience that could help later. It's just a job tip if any change would be an advantage.

 

[uninteresting_human]

Okay, you were turned down because of lack of business understanding. Why not get some business understanding and try again? There are millions of companies out there. If you want it, do what needs to be done to get it. I'm sure you can do it.

Well business is something that comes from experience. Say, if there is some business person who has been part of tea business for last 5 years, cannot be replaced by someone who knows how tea business works only but lacks practical experience. The same goes with me.

 

[uninteresting_human]

I expect some of your feeling of job rejection is imagined. Not meaning to demean you. It's natural to blame our failures on things beyond our control. My expectation is you were one of many considered. Yes, an IT guy with critical business skills is likely to be more appealing to an employer. But I honestly don't see where business skills are relevant in the IT field. Either you are applying beyond your experience, or you were just a drop in the applicant bucket.

It's not easy being a boss. I rejected an applicant once because he seemed to be anti-authority. The guy I hired turned out to be a major cutup often lacking common sense. I spent the next year wishing I'd hired the other guy. We are fallible.

If you aren't opposed to northwest New Jersey, my wife's company is short on IT people. PM me and I'll give you the name of her company.

I also see you addressed two unrelated issues. You need a job, and you are ugly. You said you are single for 8 years inferring you were married before. Looks aren't everything. But more importantly, there are people that see beyond what you feel are your appearance deficits and see who you are on the inside. The fact that you think you are ugly doesn't mean other's think you are ugly. We are programmed to reject our own appearances (not that all do). It is an innate characteristic to reject people that remind us of us, so we find them and ourselves ugly. It's natures way of avoiding polluting our gene pool. People that look like us are more likely to be related, so we reject our own characteristics.

If your looks aren't a benefit then don't expect to use them. Becoming close to someone can be a time investment. Be yourself. When someone knows you they stop looking at your appearance, and can even begin to find you attractive. Your light can shine brighter than your face, but you have to wait for people to see that.


Some people can get upset over advice, but advice is optional. You don't have to use it. I don't know you. This is based on what you've said and it is intended to be taken generally. Use what you can. Reject what you can't. We are all just trying to help.

And welcome to the board.

ETA: I see in hindsight that you are currently employed and your desire to change jobs is to work in Europe. Still, if you need a change maybe New Jersey could give you a bit more experience that could help later. It's just a job tip if any change would be an advantage.

Thanks and I am not disappointed with the responses I am getting on my first post. Will send my resume to you through PM, but I appreciate the advice. I am trying my best to overcome my weakness. I got friends, a lot, but I have never been that much open to them, but I will try better this time.

 

[uninteresting_human]

You're going to have to find yourself another raison d'être or you're going to wither and die just like a flower. Pick yourself up and chase another dream, plenty of them out there...

Thanks for the response. I will try harder this time.

 

[Efbee]

Thanks for the response. I will try harder this time.

Try smarter as well