Is it better to die suddenly or have a few months/years to prepare for death while suffering from an illness?

[user 188522]

The following movie is awesome, fun, sad, and very relatable to this topic: (I highly recommend it)

Me Before You (2016)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2674426/

I've watched it several times.

To: Finish and Forum
That movie was awesome. I just finished watching it. My eyes actually filled with tears. As I give it some thought, I am not sure they were tears of happiness for Will or sadness for their love. Thank you for the recommendation.

 

[user 188522]

I wish common sense would allow us to do it. Ergo we need a law.

 

[4No1]

Suddenly. A cancer is my nightmare.
I have no idea how to prepare for my own death or somebody's else. As we say here "you can't breathe enough before a death", so anyway there will be left something undone.
I think when people become old you usualy keep in mind they can die and it's less traumatic than when young die, loosing a parent is in some way more natural than loosing a child. So in some way we are getting prepared to a death while aging as we all have one way ticket. But I don't like the idea of waiting for a death.
I had a relative who died from a cancer, it was much more difficult than the sudden deaths.

 

[TogetherAlone]

Honestly would rather not have time to think about or dwell on it so the sooner the better imo

 

[TheRealCallie]

I honestly don't know. There are pros and cons of both scenarios.

 

[user 139760]

I'd rather be snuffed out without realizing it rather than the prolonged agony of knowing I'm on my way to non-existence.

 

[user 148069]

this sounds morbid but a sudden swift death would be preferable. I don't wish to be a burden to others by being ill.

 

[Sarah G]

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't know.

I will say though, that having been through a few sudden passings now, I feel like it's better to know what you're dealing with instead of feeling like things go bad all the sudden and you have to rush to tell the person everything you wanted to say, not even knowing if they got it or not, if you know they understood how much they meant to you.

It would be nice to know ahead of time when the last time you'll be able to talk to a person will be. That way, you can make sure that even if you can do nothing else, you can at least have one more conversation and let them know how you feel.

 

[ztyu123]

Suddenly for me. I don't want to be lingering in prayers, spiritual battles and wars, optimistic optimism, I don't want to put pressures and expectations on myself and others. I don't want to stick around and be that burden to people, and have to deal with fake concern, the worn look in people's eyes telling me that they hope that it will be soon because they're tired and worn from me possibly defying the doctor's given life expectancy. I don't want to let people down by having a good day or a few in a row, then suddenly becoming my sicker self again. I'd feel guilty and responsible for the emotional roller coaster that I put them on. I don't want to be waiting and wilting away in pain or be in a semi coma and conscious state from all the painkillers I'd be doped up on. I'd rather it happen away from home. I wouldn't want anyone to have the expenses of finding me, hiring someone to remove my body, having professionals to have to come and thoroughly clean and sanitize everything. All those added expenses. I also don't want to lie to myself and convince myself that I'm going to survive and recover when I'm not. I don't want people pitting, feeling sorry, and treating me differently. Just let me go quickly and suddenly