Is there a "give up" point?

[shesafrozenfire]

the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence.

it's greener where you water it.

"the one you are with" is "the one" the moment you decide it is so.

most people will figure this out about sometime around death.

either five minutes before, or five minutes after...

I agree with this. Relationships do require effort. There is no one person out there who is tailor-made for you, who knows all of your wants, needs and desires without even being told, or who never misunderstands something.

There are many people out there, some of whom may find you amazing and want to know more, dig deeper and build something together with you.

It is so worth it, especially if you've managed to overcome some stumbles and find common ground and true understanding.

 

[NCGRLNPHX]

Have you ever heard the line in the song, " If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"? It's so true. There is no "The one". There is no perfection. Relationships are a series of give and take from two people willing to work together and compromise. It doesn't matter if the compromise is sexual, emotional, financial, or physical- no one person gets EVERYTHING they want, THEIR way all the time. The hardest part of a relationship is finding a person worth the compromise. You also must be willing to open your mind to possibilities. I am a very picky dater. I recently lowered my standards regarding visual appeal. I'm shocked at the number of truly nice men worth dating that I wouldnt have given the time of day to had I not been told by a friend that my standards were set so high I would only attract guys that were players. She was right.

Another lesson my mom taught me is one person in a relationship ALWAYS loves more than the other. It keeps the chase on. Never believed her, til now.

 

[Trent]

Another lesson my mom taught me is one person in a relationship ALWAYS loves more than the other. It keeps the chase on. Never believed her, til now.

got news for ya

those relationships are doomed

 

[LonelyInAtl]

When you come to the conclusion that you are too unattractive for women to like...that's the point you quit so you don't have ot deal with the rejections.

And I will not settle either. I couldn't be happy with someone who smoked or in a blue collar job. Sorry if that offends anyone.

 

[Trent]

When you come to the conclusion that you are too unattractive for women to like...that's the point you quit so you don't have ot deal with the rejections.

And I will not settle either. I couldn't be happy with someone who smoked or in a blue collar job. Sorry if that offends anyone.

that's funny.

i know guys that work in "blue collar" jobs that pull down $150K per year.

i also know guys in "white collar" jobs, struggling to bring in $35K.

as a mechanic (as blue collar as it gets)...who happens to be pursuing a second college degree, and could at any point if i decided to move be making over $75K per year...

you can bite me.

i don't smoke, but i'd light one to blow it in your face any day.

of course, considering the androgenous nature of your profile in conjunction with the ambiguous nature of your post, you could very well be a guy, in which case my post will be comedic and slightly gay.

either way, i stand by it.

 

[Callie]

When you come to the conclusion that you are too unattractive for women to like...that's the point you quit so you don't have ot deal with the rejections.

And I will not settle either. I couldn't be happy with someone who smoked or in a blue collar job. Sorry if that offends anyone.

Actually, that IS offensive. So what if someone works a blue collar job. The fact is that they ARE working. Sometimes you can't get any better than that.

So, I guess I'm (along with a good portion of the world) not good enough for you because I don't have a more than decent job? I get more a month for CHILD SUPPORT than I do working my job....but at least I'm trying, at least I'm working.

 

[In a lonely place]

I don't think you can give up. Or at least I can't, even if I wanted to.
I think it's part of the human response to desire and pursue a mate. But maybe there is a giving up of certain ideas, ideals, that eventually helps you towards your goal and success.
That's my hope anyway.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

i know guys that work in "blue collar" jobs that pull down $150K per year.

i also know guys in "white collar" jobs, struggling to bring in $35K.

i don't smoke, but i'd light one to blow it in your face any day.

Yes, I am a guy.

It's not about the money. It's about compatibility. When I was at a point women would actually go out with me, I had more in common with white collar workers than blue collar.

And I can not stand kissing someone who smokes. Their clothes and hair generally reek of cigarette smoke.

If I wind up being alone because of my "standards", so be it. It's not like I can get a date anyway, so the standards are pretty much a moot point.

 

[Trent]

i hate white collar folks

i choose to work in an actual ghetto to avoid them

i prefer gangbangers and shoprats anyday

 

[theraab]

Yes, I am a guy.

It's not about the money. It's about compatibility. When I was at a point women would actually go out with me, I had more in common with white collar workers than blue collar.

And I can not stand kissing someone who smokes. Their clothes and hair generally reek of cigarette smoke.

If I wind up being alone because of my "standards", so be it. It's not like I can get a date anyway, so the standards are pretty much a moot point.

I understand the not wanting to date a smoker - my fiance died of cancer (colon cancer), and I would be hesitant to date someone who willingly increased her risk of cancer.

What I don't get is that you would cut out blue collar women just because of their jobs - what the hell does that have to do with anything? There are a lot of blue collar people who are intelligent and can hold a good conversation better than many white collar people - I have a master's degree and Jackie didn't graduate from high school, yet we got along great. Not all of our interests were in common, but that didn't matter.

And another thing, I saw in another thread how you said you can't get a date because of your weight - I saw your picture in that post your picture thread, and you are not some monstrous blob - you are a little bit heavy, that's all. You're otherwise not that bad looking. When I was in college the guy I knew who got the most girls was actually about 150 pounds overweight - he could talk to them. I know many women who don't view weight as a major factor - you may not be Brad Pitt, but then again you aren't going after Angelina Jolie either (or, if you are, that's your problem). There may be plenty of blue collar women who would date you, but you won't give them the chance.

Anyway, I've veered way off topic.

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Yes, I am a guy.

It's not about the money. It's about compatibility. When I was at a point women would actually go out with me, I had more in common with white collar workers than blue collar.

And I can not stand kissing someone who smokes. Their clothes and hair generally reek of cigarette smoke.

If I wind up being alone because of my "standards", so be it. It's not like I can get a date anyway, so the standards are pretty much a moot point.

I understand the not wanting to date a smoker - my fiance died of cancer (colon cancer), and I would be hesitant to date someone who willingly increased her risk of cancer.

What I don't get is that you would cut out blue collar women just because of their jobs - what the hell does that have to do with anything? There are a lot of blue collar people who are intelligent and can hold a good conversation better than many white collar people - I have a master's degree and Jackie didn't graduate from high school, yet we got along great. Not all of our interests were in common, but that didn't matter.

And another thing, I saw in another thread how you said you can't get a date because of your weight - I saw your picture in that post your picture thread, and you are not some monstrous blob - you are a little bit heavy, that's all. You're otherwise not that bad looking. When I was in college the guy I knew who got the most girls was actually about 150 pounds overweight - he could talk to them. I know many women who don't view weight as a major factor - you may not be Brad Pitt, but then again you aren't going after Angelina Jolie either (or, if you are, that's your problem). There may be plenty of blue collar women who would date you, but you won't give them the chance.

Anyway, I've veered way off topic.

I hear your pain and understand it as I go through the same issue(s).
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" they say. So it seems to be that the "beholders" are certainly blind in our case.

It's not because of their jobs. Based on past experiences I have much more in common with white collar workers. Maybe it was just coincidence, but I have dated blue collar women and just wasn't compatible. Let's rephrase that to say that I would most likely prefer a white collar worker but if I ever met and felt compatibility with a blue collar worker I wouldn't automatically dismiss it.

But it's pretty much a moot point. After past experiences I have a mental block that will not approach women. I'd rather walk on hot coals with gasoline covered feed than ask someone out and get rejected....again.