Isolation comes too easy

[okidoke]

It's so easy to get stuck in a cycle. To make all the wrong decisions. I know some on this forum have made the active decision to keep away from others, and I wonder about it sometimes. I try to make an effort but it's hard and I always have periods of just locking myself in. At this point I'm just wondering that maybe I'm not made for long lasting relationships. Or more likely, just dont want to put the effort in.

We can believe many things. And the more we believe it, the more likely it is to turn out the way - like a self-fulfilling prophecy. We also chose at times not to put in the effort because we feel the result won't be worth it, but the thing is, we just can't tell the future when we try to change our situation. We have to have some hope in the future. We have to not be filled with doom and gloom by the myriad of negativity in the world. It's too easy to give up. But when you start to choose, yes choose, to start seeing the beauty and positivity in the world, you begin to realise that there is room for hope, for the possibility of happiness. The younger people have so much more reason to be hopeful because they have the time to make efforts to improve their situation, but at the same time are susceptible to being persuaded into believing that it's hopeless. Seek positive role models, inspirational people, people who have come from worse situations as your own, so that way you can see that it's possible for you also to find contentment.

I’m meant to be alone without kids as well......

How do you determine that though? Is it based on experiences with other people, like you were destructive or something that shows a pattern of behaviour?

 

[Laava]

The other important part of it tho, is the hard reality that most people won’t be interested in building a connection. This is true for everyone, from the most popular to the least. Most interactions just don’t really end with any real connection. While it’s undoubtedly easier for some, it’s never some large fraction. Most interactions are shallow, bonds tepid, or superficial, the real true connections are always the very rare commodity nestled in between amongst all that.

It’s only human to be upset with that situation. It hurts. How could it not?

Coming out of your shell and taking an interest in people will always be a prerequisite part of it. Nothing happens without that. Don’t feel bad for having done that. It’s a big step you should value in yourself for being able to do, some people can’t do it at all. It’s something you will need and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to do.

The other important part of it tho, is the hard reality that most people won’t be interested in building a connection. This is true for everyone, from the most popular to the least. Most interactions just don’t really end with any real connection. While it’s undoubtedly easier for some, it’s never some large fraction. Most interactions are shallow, bonds tepid, or superficial, the real true connections are always the very rare commodity nestled in between amongst all that.
I like this a lot. Well put together.

It’s only human to be upset with that situation. It hurts. How could it not?

Coming out of your shell and taking an interest in people will always be a prerequisite part of it. Nothing happens without that. Don’t feel bad for having done that. It’s a big step you should value in yourself for being able to do, some people can’t do it at all. It’s something you will need and I’m sure it wasn’t easy to do.

The other important part of it tho, is the hard reality that most people won’t be interested in building a connection. This is true for everyone, from the most popular to the least. Most interactions just don’t really end with any real connection. While it’s undoubtedly easier for some, it’s never some large fraction. Most interactions are shallow, bonds tepid, or superficial, the real true connections are always the very rare commodity nestled in between amongst all that.

So I think the only thing I can tell you is, it hurts much less when throwing the dart expecting to miss the mark, rather than to succeed. Because that will be the actual reality most of the time. It’s the desire itself behind the most pain. But there really is no shortcut, have to keep throwing that dart to hit anything, or to learn new things in the process.

I like this a lot. Well put together.

 

[user 139760]

I'm more of a loner. I occasionally crave some company, but just for certain periods of time. Mind you, I haven't found it to be that different from most of my family and friends. The only thing I am missing is that special someone I actually look forward to seeing when I get home.