It’s hard to make friends at 30+

[Lonely virgin]

It’s hard to make friends at 30+. I’m 31 almost 32 and never had any friends. I’m still a virgin now. In 8 years I will be the real 40 year old virgin. In high school i never got invited to parties. In college i never got invited to parties. Only in my sign holder job the managers say im doing a good job and invited me to a party.

 

[okidoke]

It's a sad existence to be lonely. All I can suggest is that you reach out to people that are in your similar situation. They will understand and perhaps you can find some bonds there. I recall your thread from Jan 2024, so what things have you tried since? Did you take on board anything anyone suggested?

 

[Lonely virgin]

I

It's a sad existence to be lonely. All I can suggest is that you reach out to people that are in your similar situation. They will understand and perhaps you can find some bonds there. I recall your thread from Jan 2024, so what things have you tried since? Did you take on board anything anyone suggested?

I’m on a waitlist for an autism diagnosis. I also I’m on a job agency for people with mental disabilities and physical disabilities.

 

[okidoke]

Ok. Have you reached out to any groups?

 

[Lonely virgin]

Ok. Have you reached out to any groups?

Nope. I’m still working as sign holder and snow shoveler. I did talk to couple people online I met on Facebook but they have busy work schedule.

 

[okidoke]

Nope.

Is there a reason for that? You might make some friends in interest and social groups that you might like.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

It’s hard to make friends at 30+. I’m 31 almost 32 and never had any friends. I’m still a virgin now. In 8 years I will be the real 40 year old virgin. In high school i never got invited to parties. In college i never got invited to parties. Only in my sign holder job the managers say im doing a good job and invited me to a party.

If you want change, you have to do something different. It's obvious what you're doing now isn't working for you. Learn to step outside your comfort zone a little bit.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I

I’m on a waitlist for an autism diagnosis. I also I’m on a job agency for people with mental disabilities and physical disabilities.

Wait, how do you know you have autism if you don't have a diagnosis yet? There are many mental illnesses that share a lot of the same symptoms with autism, so I would not just assume that's what you have. But does it really matter in the end? It won't change who you are. Sure, you might be able to get more specialized treatment, but you will still have to do the work if you want your life to change. There's no magic pill, even if you have a diagnosis.

You say you've done nothing to try to change your situation in the last year, so of course nothing has changed for you. Also no magic pill for that, you have to do the work. If you want friends, you have to put yourself around people and talk to them. Have you looked for any support groups in your area? That could help you with your issues, as well as potentially making friends. If you want a better job, you have to do the work to be able to handle a better job. Get job certifications so your resume looks better. You need to work on your anxiety. Do you see a therapist for that?

At the end of the day, you have two options, regardless of IQ, job status, mental disabilities/illness, etc. You can make excuses or you do the hard work to get where you want to be. Even if you have autism, you can still accomplish what you want, you just may have to find a different way to make it happen.

 

[Lonely virgin]

Wait, how do you know you have autism if you don't have a diagnosis yet? There are many mental illnesses that share a lot of the same symptoms with autism, so I would not just assume that's what you have. But does it really matter in the end? It won't change who you are. Sure, you might be able to get more specialized treatment, but you will still have to do the work if you want your life to change. There's no magic pill, even if you have a diagnosis.

You say you've done nothing to try to change your situation in the last year, so of course nothing has changed for you. Also no magic pill for that, you have to do the work. If you want friends, you have to put yourself around people and talk to them. Have you looked for any support groups in your area? That could help you with your issues, as well as potentially making friends. If you want a better job, you have to do the work to be able to handle a better job. Get job certifications so your resume looks better. You need to work on your anxiety. Do you see a therapist for that?

At the end of the day, you have two options, regardless of IQ, job status, mental disabilities/illness, etc. You can make excuses or you do the hard work to get where you want to be. Even if you have autism, you can still accomplish what you want, you just may have to find a different way to make it happen.

I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression along with alcoholism and at school a low iq. The reason why I have autism is because I have special interests in mortal kombat and pro wrestling like wwe like naming all mortal kombat characters and all wwe champions. I have a collection of mortal kombat and wwe games. I prefer to do things my own way like back in college I studied mostly by myself for exams instead of group study so I’m introverted. That’s why I think I have autism. Also I have repetitive behaviours like walking back and fourth or repeating myself again that’s why I’m autistic.

 

[Lonely virgin]

If you want change, you have to do something different. It's obvious what you're doing now isn't working for you. Learn to step outside your comfort zone a little bit.

Ok

 

[TheRealCallie]

I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression along with alcoholism and at school a low iq. The reason why I have autism is because I have special interests in mortal kombat and pro wrestling like wwe like naming all mortal kombat characters and all wwe champions. I have a collection of mortal kombat and wwe games. I prefer to do things my own way like back in college I studied mostly by myself for exams instead of group study so I’m introverted. That’s why I think I have autism. Also I have repetitive behaviours like walking back and fourth or repeating myself again that’s why I’m autistic.

Not sure how an interest in Mortal Kombat and wrestling equates to autism. Lots of people like those things.
I'm not sure where you got that people with autism have low IQs because that simply not true. High functioning autistic people often have high IQs.

I really don't understand why so many people today are so quick to label themselves autistic. Almost like it's a prize to be won or something.

 

[Lonely virgin]

Not sure how an interest in Mortal Kombat and wrestling equates to autism. Lots of people like those things.
I'm not sure where you got that people with autism have low IQs because that simply not true. High functioning autistic people often have high IQs.

I really don't understand why so many people today are so quick to label themselves autistic. Almost like it's a prize to be won or something.

There are low iq autistics too like Chris chan. I was born in 1993 when autism wasn’t popular or spread a lot until the 2010s. I didn’t know I was autistic until a year ago my sister could tell that I’m autistic and other people to when they used to watch my videos or on the internet. I was in special Ed class from grades 4 to 8.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

There are low iq autistics too like Chris chan. I was born in 1993 when autism wasn’t popular or spread a lot until the 2010s. I didn’t know I was autistic until a year ago my sister could tell that I’m autistic and other people to when they used to watch my videos or on the internet. I was in special Ed class from grades 4 to 8.

To know for sure, see a doctor. Stop listening to what others tell you.

 

[Lonely virgin]

To know for sure, see a doctor. Stop listening to what others tell you.

Ok. I remember collecting super hero toys and video games as kid too since collection of things is a symptom of autism.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Ok. I remember collecting super hero toys and video games as kid too since collection of things is a symptom of autism.

That doesn't make you autistic. Why are you so against helping yourself? You come on here and complain about all your issues yet you don't want to seek help for them. It's like you're against it and posting this for attention. Otherwise, you'd do something positive for yourself if you really want to see different. You have a very negative mindset.

 

[Papagenox]

there are also physical signs of autism which I inherited from my mother along with psychological features ... you definitely need professional expertise and psychotherapy for this ... in my opinion the most important questions are

if you get an autism or other diagnosis (I have a disability pension myself) you have to decide if you want to learn to be as happy as possible while living within the limitations imposed by it OR do you want to be another type of person and that means to work hard for it without guaranteed success and happiness ... I chose the first path

if your needs are definitely more sexual than romantic (love) in nature don't hesitate to resort to paid services as you waste precious time

 

[Lonely virgin]

That doesn't make you autistic. Why are you so against helping yourself? You come on here and complain about all your issues yet you don't want to seek help for them. It's like you're against it and posting this for attention. Otherwise, you'd do something positive for yourself if you really want to see different. You have a very negative mindset.

I’m not. I was in therapy for depression and anxiety. I want to make friends with same interest as me video games and pro wrestling wwe. But most people my age 30s go to bars and nightclubs which I’m not interested at.

 

[Lonely virgin]

there are also physical signs of autism which I inherited from my mother along with psychological features ... you definitely need professional expertise and psychotherapy for this ... in my opinion the most important questions are

if you get an autism or other diagnosis (I have a disability pension myself) you have to decide if you want to learn to be as happy as possible while living within the limitations imposed by it OR do you want to be another type of person and that means to work hard for it without guaranteed success and happiness ... I chose the first path

if your needs are definitely more sexual than romantic (love) in nature don't hesitate to resort to paid services as you waste precious time

Thanks. I don’t have physical signs of autism just psychological like no friends doing things on my own, repetitive interests in wwe and video games.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I’m not. I was in therapy for depression and anxiety. I want to make friends with same interest as me video games and pro wrestling wwe. But most people my age 30s go to bars and nightclubs which I’m not interested at.

You still have to try. You have to do different if you want different. Not everyone's going to be into what you are and vice versa, but you can't give up either. Giving up doesn't get you the results you want.

 

[Lonely virgin]

You still have to try. You have to do different if you want different. Not everyone's going to be into what you are and vice versa, but you can't give up either. Giving up doesn't get you the results you want.

Yeha I used to be an alcoholic I don’t want to relapse and go to bars or nightclubs where they serve alcohol and everyone drinks alcohol