Joining in

[duff]

My father was the baseball coach when I was in my early teens- I wasn't a gifted athlete so the other members of the "team", not wanting a klutz like me to drag them down, made my short period of time on the "team" a nightmare (details too disgusting and painful to want to write). I remember holding the tears and shame in and just not going to practice any more (never even got on the field for a game). My father never said a word about my not going anymore but had plenty to say when I joined soccer the next year- considered it a "wuss" game and never saw me play a single game. Years later it came up in a conversation and my father made it clear that I'd been such an embarrassment to him (amazing how drinking Jack Daniels brings out "wisdom" and "honesty" in people)- it actually felt pretty good to tell him that his contribution to me raising my child is to do do exactly the opposite of what he did when I was a kid- watching his cheeks flush, listening to him stammer in anger, and not being able to look me in the eyes gave me a great deal of satisfaction knowing I'd finally found a way to let him know how much he'd let me down.

An unpopular kid or teenager can forget about team sports, they're a nightmare even when -and sometimes because- you have potential. Ironic how adults like to talk about the character building value when for so many they merely serve as a physically painful reminder of social outcast status.


1. It's impossible to play a constructive role in the team because nobody ever passes the ball to you (using rugby, soccer or basketball as examples) That means you never get any real practice. You could be wide open... doesn't matter, they pass to their friends, end of story. Your position is essentially empty. Eventually you get benched or pushed off the team.
2. Flat out assault. Even in non-contact sports. I'm not talking a push or shove here; elbows to the face, kicked while on the ground etc.
3. The almost unbearable shame of having your parents or other relatives witness this from the sidelines.

I wonder how many half decent or even gifted individuals never got to know what they were capable of because of the team "situation".


solution.. play tennis, it's fun and no obnoxious team members unless you're forced into doubles.

yes I totally agree.

I was good at football when I was a kid but I could never get in the team. My Dad and brothers couldn't believe it. When I played at school, I just got bullied, like you have mentioned. Nobody passed the ball to me, everytime I got the ball, people would scream things at me. When I got 12 I nearly got in the team and this bully, big head type just gave me aload of ****. I scored 2 goals in a practise match and this kid basically kicked me to death.

From the ages of 20 to 24 I played sunday league football and suffered the same thing. I got in the team mostly but I took way more abuse than anybody else. In the end I quit and joined the golf club. It's an individual game so it suits me !