A woman is on one of those funeral cruises where the ashes of loved ones may be dumped into the sea.
She had been married to a real cheapskate, who after 30 years of marriage finally died.
The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes, because he felt a plot would cost too much.
After the memorial services, she went to the railing and poured his ashes out into her hands and started talking to him.
"Henry," she said, "you know that mink cape I wanted all my life? Well your company sold for so much that now I have bought myself a beautiful full length mink coat."
"And Henry," she said, "you know that trip to the Caribbean I always wanted to take? Well, I took a world cruise for 90 days and it was wonderful!"
"And Henry," she continued, "you know that big blue Cadillac I had been hoping for the last 5 years? Well I bought a Rolls Royce instead and it drives like a dream."
"Oh, and Henry," she said, "you know that ******** you always wanted?" and she blew the ashes out of her hands into the sea . . .
"Brand" name condom's!
AT&T Condums: Reach out and touch someone.
Campbell’s Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.
Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh, what a feeling! Who can ask for anything more?
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
GE Condoms: We bring good things to life!
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest. Have you Driven a Ford Lately?
Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.
Jeep-Eagle Condom: There's Only One Jeep (sold in singles only)
The Saturn Condom: A *Different* Kind of Condom
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
NY Lotto Condoms: 'Cause, hey -- you never know.
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
Energizer batteries Condoms: Keeps going and going ...
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Diet Coke Condom: Just for the taste of it
Lays Condom: Betcha can't have just one.
MCI Condoms: For friends and family
Taco Bell Condoms: Get some before you go south of the border.
The Sears Latex Condom: One coat is good for the entire winter.
Starburst Condoms: Gets Your Juices Flowin’
Bud-Light Condom: Where's the Love Man!
7-UP Condom: The UN-Condom
Iomega Condom: For All Your Stuff
Microsoft Condom: Wherever you want to go today. We are universally compatible.