A few years after I left the RAAF I moved to the wilderness to get away from my problem _ to no avail. . .
Until I realized I was the problem.
Finally went back to AA, but this time I was willing to go to any lengths to recover and stay recovered. At this my car got repossessed. Nearest AA was once per week in a town 75 km (46 miles) away. The first 24 km was walking to the highway, then hitched into town. Did this everyweek, rain hail or shine, for 18 months. RAAF discipline helped me with my resolve, let alone all the assistance I got from a Higher Hand.
After several months, for the first time in my life, I started to feel some serenity/tranquility in my life. Living in the wilderness is so different to my city upbringing. No electricity, phone, or running water. My music was nature. Wildlife became my friends.
Without mind altering chemicals, plus working the AA program, has given me the chance to become the person I always wanted to be. A life of tranquility.
However, it requires something at a price. It requires truth, and the price is myself (ego-self). Much like swimming, if you don't relax you'll drown.
The tranquility I was experiencing mainly came in dribs and drabs. Still had a long way to go. A sort of never ending journey, though at each step seems to be it, but another step then presents itself. It just gets better.
Please feel free to comment.
