Just Came To America...

[Keeper Shaman]

If you touched his arm and initiated physical contact, then you'd probably want to be kissed. I think he should have done it right then and there and since he didn't she got turned off. His only chance is to go hard and strong now if he wants something to happen, he already messed up, he needs to make up for it.

If he gets super passionate and shows her how much he really wants her, then it might turn her on again.

But yea, this is all just my opinion....

OR...she might think he's a harassing creep and want nothing to do with him anymore.

Touching someone's arm does not always mean you want to be kissed. Sometimes, people are just touchy with everyone. There are people like that, I know a few.
There is NO reason to think that she is turned off by him because he didn't invade her space because she touched his arm. His ARM, not his ****....

It's not the social norm for a woman to just grab any guy's **** that she's interested in. In fact that's grounds for sexual harassment.

It's much more socially acceptable to playfully touch and flirt. But he needs to flirt back, or he'll seem like an inexperienced chump.

Better to try kissing her and fail, then to not even try and fail. Either way he loses the girl, better take the risk of looking like a creep and just go for it. If she doesn't want it she'll probably stop him when he moves in for the kiss, then he can just apologize and move on, no big deal.....

Perhaps your ways are different from the average woman, and I've already addressed that different people want different things.

Maybe you can tell us what your ideal vision of a romantic scene is? Or how you'd like a guy to initiate romantic interest.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If you touched his arm and initiated physical contact, then you'd probably want to be kissed. I think he should have done it right then and there and since he didn't she got turned off. His only chance is to go hard and strong now if he wants something to happen, he already messed up, he needs to make up for it.

If he gets super passionate and shows her how much he really wants her, then it might turn her on again.

But yea, this is all just my opinion....

OR...she might think he's a harassing creep and want nothing to do with him anymore.

Touching someone's arm does not always mean you want to be kissed. Sometimes, people are just touchy with everyone. There are people like that, I know a few.
There is NO reason to think that she is turned off by him because he didn't invade her space because she touched his arm. His ARM, not his ****....

It's not the social norm for a woman to just grab any guy's **** that she's interested in. In fact that's grounds for sexual harassment.

It's much more socially acceptable to playfully touch and flirt. But he needs to flirt back, or he'll seem like an inexperienced chump.

Better to try kissing her and fail, then to not even try and fail. Either way he loses the girl, better take the risk of looking like a creep and just go for it. If she doesn't want it she'll probably stop him when he moves in for the kiss, then he can just apologize and move on, no big deal.....

Perhaps your ways are different from the average woman, and I've already addressed that different people want different things.

Maybe you can tell us what your ideal vision of a romantic scene is? Or how you'd like a guy to initiate romantic interest.

He doesn't have to attack her face to show he's interested and if he doesn't kiss her, that doesn't mean he doesn't have a chance with her.
Personally, as a woman, I would MUCH prefer that a guy show me in OTHER ways before we are together to show me he's interested than just coming in for a kiss. You are aware it's possible to do that, right?

As for what my ideal vision of a romantic scene is, that's not relevant in the slightest. I'm not looking for a relationship, but if a guy tries to kiss me before I want him to, his nose will be hurting for a while.

 

[Keeper Shaman]

Have you ever even been kissed?

Why should he take your advise over mine and others that are similar to mine?

I've kissed plenty of girls.....

 

[TheRealCallie]

Have you ever even been kissed?

Why should he take your advise over mine and others that are similar to mine?

I've kissed plenty of girls.....

Considering I was (still am, legally) married and I have two kids, I think it's safe to say I've been kissed.

Also, I'm a girl, so I'm probably more likely to know what girls want than you.

 

[Keeper Shaman]

Have you ever even been kissed?

Why should he take your advise over mine and others that are similar to mine?

I've kissed plenty of girls.....

Considering I was (still am, legally) married and I have two kids, I think it's safe to say I've been kissed.

Also, I'm a girl, so I'm probably more likely to know what girls want than you.

That makes sense, you seem to have a distrustful attitude towards men. I didn't know why but I do now. I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Have you ever even been kissed?

Why should he take your advise over mine and others that are similar to mine?

I've kissed plenty of girls.....

Considering I was (still am, legally) married and I have two kids, I think it's safe to say I've been kissed.

Also, I'm a girl, so I'm probably more likely to know what girls want than you.

That makes sense, you seem to have a distrustful attitude towards men. I didn't know why but I do now. I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

First, I don't have a distrustful attitude towards men. I have a distrustful attitude toward alcoholic ********, thank you very much.
Second, everyone who has a history has some kind of baggage, I don't drag my around, I unpacked it quite a while ago.
Third, did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not that I'm distrustful, but that I may just value my personal space and don't like people invading it uninvited?
Fourth, I'd hit a girl if she tried to kiss me uninvited too.
And finally, my advice isn't for women (or "girls" for that matter) at all. It's for the guy who made this thread.

 

[Keeper Shaman]

Have you ever even been kissed?

Why should he take your advise over mine and others that are similar to mine?

I've kissed plenty of girls.....

Considering I was (still am, legally) married and I have two kids, I think it's safe to say I've been kissed.

Also, I'm a girl, so I'm probably more likely to know what girls want than you.

That makes sense, you seem to have a distrustful attitude towards men. I didn't know why but I do now. I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

First, I don't have a distrustful attitude towards men. I have a distrustful attitude toward alcoholic ********, thank you very much.
Second, everyone who has a history has some kind of baggage, I don't drag my around, I unpacked it quite a while ago.
Third, did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not that I'm distrustful, but that I may just value my personal space and don't like people invading it uninvited?
Fourth, I'd hit a girl if she tried to kiss me uninvited too.
And finally, my advice isn't for women (or "girls" for that matter) at all. It's for the guy who made this thread.

Yea well when I asked you what constitutes an invite for you personally you didn't even answer and said you aren't even interested in men right now.

So what good does your advise do for the guy? Nothing. If anything it seems like you want to give him bad advise that will get him no where, so he can share your loneliness and pain.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yea well when I asked you what constitutes an invite for you personally you didn't even answer and said you aren't even interested in men right now.

So what good does your advise do for the guy? Nothing. If anything it seems like you want to give him bad advise that will get him no where, so he can share your loneliness and pain.

I believe I said I wasn't interested in a relationship right now. There's a difference.

It's cute, though, how you think you know me well enough to know my "loneliness and pain." lol
I'm not lonely or in pain, thanks. I have more important things to concern myself with than who I'm going to date. Dating and guys are not my priority right now, my family is.

 

[Keeper Shaman]

Yea well when I asked you what constitutes an invite for you personally you didn't even answer and said you aren't even interested in men right now.

So what good does your advise do for the guy? Nothing. If anything it seems like you want to give him bad advise that will get him no where, so he can share your loneliness and pain.

I believe I said I wasn't interested in a relationship right now. There's a difference.

It's cute, though, how you think you know me well enough to know my "loneliness and pain." lol
I'm not lonely or in pain, thanks. I have more important things to concern myself with than who I'm going to date. Dating and guys are not my priority right now, my family is.

What's left of your family.... Maybe that's insensitive...sorry.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

 

[TheRealCallie]

What's left of your family.... Maybe that's insensitive...sorry.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

Did you miss the part where I said I have two kids? Also, there's my own family and my in-laws who continue to treat me as family and always will regardless of whether my ex and I are together. Family is one thing I have PLENTY of, thank you very much.

Oh, I've explained why I'm here many times in open forum, so it is there. If you want to know so damn badly, go find it. Here's a hint for you, I think there are a few threads asking people why they are here.

 

[BeyondShy]

I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

No need to insult her.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

You may be missing out on some very good women.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

You got a lot of nerve saying that to her. You don't know her at all or what she may or may not have gone through in her life. Who are you to assume and judge her like this? Leave her alone

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

At this point I don't even want to know.

 

[Keeper Shaman]

What's left of your family.... Maybe that's insensitive...sorry.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

Did you miss the part where I said I have two kids? Also, there's my own family and my in-laws who continue to treat me as family and always will regardless of whether my ex and I are together. Family is one thing I have PLENTY of, thank you very much.

Oh, I've explained why I'm here many times in open forum, so it is there. If you want to know so damn badly, go find it. Here's a hint for you, I think there are a few threads asking people why they are here.

No I don't want to know, but if you wanted me to know you could of just told me. Thanks for derailing the conversation and focusing on yourself so much though, I was just trying to help the guy, I don't know what you were trying to do.

---

I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

No need to insult her.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

You may be missing out on some very good women.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

You got a lot of nerve saying that to her. You don't know her at all or what she may or may not have gone through in her life. Who are you to assume and judge her like this? Leave her alone

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

At this point I don't even want to know.

1. She fully admitted to having baggage.
2. No I'm not missing out on good women, I'll pass on the women with ******* kids thank you very much.
3. Yea I do have a lot of nerve. I'm an insensitive jerk, but she responded to me when I wasn't even addressing her in the first place.
4. I never said I wanted you to know, I'd rather people not know to be honest, that's why I posted it on the internet, please DON'T LOOK, but it's not going to kill me if you do, I'm not in denial about my own problems.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

1. She fully admitted to having baggage.
2. No I'm not missing out on good women, I'll pass on the women with ******* kids thank you very much.
3. Yea I do have a lot of nerve. I'm an insensitive jerk, but she responded to me when I wasn't even addressing her in the first place.
4. I never said I wanted you to know, I'd rather people not know to be honest, that's why I posted it on the internet, please DON'T LOOK, but it's not going to kill me if you do, I'm not in denial about my own problems.

1. You say "baggage" as if it's a terrible thing. EVERYONE has baggage. And from how you're speaking, I am sure you have tons. But I am also certain that you are a decent person underneath it.
2. Please don't insult children. You don't have to have them in your life. But they are beautiful additions to the world, no matter what their home circumstance is.
3. It's called an opinion. Better get used to it around these parts.

 

[TheRealCallie]

2. No I'm not missing out on good women, I'll pass on the women with ******* kids thank you very much.

My children are NOT *******s!!! They have a father and they know who he is. No matter what happens between me and my ex, he will ALWAYS be their father and no guy I ever date or get involved with will replace him!
You want to attack me, you go right ahead, but leave my children out of it!

 

[Keeper Shaman]

1. She fully admitted to having baggage.
2. No I'm not missing out on good women, I'll pass on the women with ******* kids thank you very much.
3. Yea I do have a lot of nerve. I'm an insensitive jerk, but she responded to me when I wasn't even addressing her in the first place.
4. I never said I wanted you to know, I'd rather people not know to be honest, that's why I posted it on the internet, please DON'T LOOK, but it's not going to kill me if you do, I'm not in denial about my own problems.

1. You say "baggage" as if it's a terrible thing. EVERYONE has baggage. And from how you're speaking, I am sure you have tons. But I am also certain that you are a decent person underneath it.
2. Please don't insult children. You don't have to have them in your life. But they are beautiful additions to the world, no matter what their home circumstance is.
3. It's called an opinion. Better get used to it around these parts.

1. You're probably right, but I pack my bags pretty lightly, ready to move at a moments notice. And thanks for saying I'm a decent person, maybe it's because I said you're beautiful.
2. I guess ******* is pretty insulting, but it was the most efficient word I could use to describe children who are born out of wedlock, and I wasn't specifically referring to what's her name's kids either, just potential romantic interests who happen to have children out of wedlock.
3. I guess I'm more open to the opinions of certain kinds of people. Sorry, I can't just value everyone's opinion equally. I'm trying really hard to get myself out of the rut I'm in, so hopefully I won't have to get used to it, when I get out of the rut I'm in, I will no longer be around here.

 

[Sci-Fi]

What's left of your family.... Maybe that's insensitive...sorry.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

Did you miss the part where I said I have two kids? Also, there's my own family and my in-laws who continue to treat me as family and always will regardless of whether my ex and I are together. Family is one thing I have PLENTY of, thank you very much.

Oh, I've explained why I'm here many times in open forum, so it is there. If you want to know so damn badly, go find it. Here's a hint for you, I think there are a few threads asking people why they are here.

No I don't want to know, but if you wanted me to know you could of just told me. Thanks for derailing the conversation and focusing on yourself so much though, I was just trying to help the guy, I don't know what you were trying to do.

---

I'd say you're more of a woman than a girl, but you are also a woman with a lot of baggage.

No need to insult her.

Maybe your advise is good for divorced women, but not girls. I never claimed to know what divorced women want, I'm not the least bit interested in women who are divorced or even have kids.

You may be missing out on some very good women.

If you are not lonely then I wonder what you are doing on a forum called "a lonely life" lol.... now that's funny.

You got a lot of nerve saying that to her. You don't know her at all or what she may or may not have gone through in her life. Who are you to assume and judge her like this? Leave her alone

At least I can admit that I am lonely and I'm open about exactly why.

At this point I don't even want to know.

1. She fully admitted to having baggage.
2. No I'm not missing out on good women, I'll pass on the women with ******* kids thank you very much.
3. Yea I do have a lot of nerve. I'm an insensitive jerk, but she responded to me when I wasn't even addressing her in the first place.
4. I never said I wanted you to know, I'd rather people not know to be honest, that's why I posted it on the internet, please DON'T LOOK, but it's not going to kill me if you do, I'm not in denial about my own problems.

---

That's enough of that. We DO NOT go around insulting other members of this forum like that or attacking them personally. Knock it off.

Actually you know what, that ******* comment really pissed me off and you got the wrong moderator to make a remark like that. Enjoy your time off from the forum.

 

[Despicable Me]

I don't know what in hell happened to this topic, but I'm just going to answer the topic creator's questions and ignore the nonsense.

So I ended up telling her that I was interested in her, and asked if she was interested in me too.
She told me that I was good too, but it's too early to be in a relationship right now, and that she wants more time to get to know me. Which I think is perfectly fare.

I personally think this is a good start, since she could have easily said she wasn't interested in any relation ship at this time.

What do you guys think?

I think she's probably being honest with you.
As others said earlier she may just not be ready yet due to her past relationships, especially if they were abusive ones. She needs time to work things out in her own head first before she can learn to depend on someone else again. That is pretty typical for someone who was once in an abusive or otherwise messed up relationship.
I personally know what that is like, too. Sometimes people just screw you up and you have to work through that yourself and you just can't put that burden on anyone else. You just plain aren't ready for a new relationship yet because the world doesn't quite make sense anymore.

So just give her some time and some space to deal with that. You can keep hanging out with her as a friend until then. And if that means you go out and find someone else in the meanwhile then so be it. You've got to keep living your life just like she's trying to keep living hers. You could wait on her but that is entirely up to you and how much you like her and how much potential you think is in this relationship.

Good luck!