Dear Forest, I feel your pain and I have seen such pain within others and involved with them many times. It can be a vicious cycle. It was unfortunate that my previous comment was taken the wrong way by some and yourself, but I was trying to say that perhaps due to the way you come across to people in the health industry, you may be perceived as a “difficult” person and they’re struggling to give you the care you need. Even as I reread your comments here, you contradict yourself and appear reluctant to heed some of the advice provided. It’s an awful catch22 situation for you and I’m sorry you’re going through it. You need to start afresh with a new medical professional, with a disposition that is more attractive to deal with, which I understand is difficult due to what you have been through so far, but it won’t change if you won’t. Maybe seek someone that can be your advocate to help guide you through treatment. I wish you well. Nobody deserves to suffer.