LoneKiller's Scrapbook

[markyj82]

One of a few that gets life. This world is the devils domain and my friend we are not supposed to enjoy it. Fear nothing as nothing is to fear.

 

[LoneKiller]

Free Wacky Online Games

"George Bush Shoe Throwing Game"

http://www.nobleflash.com/game/4566/Bush-throwing-shoe-game.html


"Hell's Kitchen"

http://www.games2download.com/free-time-management-games/hells-kitchen.htm


"JFK Reloded" (v1.1)

http://www.fileplanet.com/192027/190000/fileinfo/JFK-Reloaded-v1.1-(Free-Game)


"Various Osama Bin Laden Games"

http://www.shegame.com/cat/136/Bin-Laden/flash-games-1

 

[LoneKiller]

How I Got Clean And Sober

Different methods are used and work for different people. I just thought that I'd share how I got clean. It might work for some here who are suffering from addiction. If even just one member or guest benefits from this, then I'm satisfied.

My very first addiction was alcohol. My old man hasn't drank in over 40 years, but maybe it's true that this disease is hereditary, I'm not sure.
His 2 reasons for kicking were his doctor telling him that his liver was going to continue dying and would kill him. My mother who was pregnant with me threatened to leave him if he didn't quit.

I tried numerous times to quit, but relapsed. A friend suggested that I try smoking weed to help ween me off of the sauce, and it worked for around 4 or 5 months, then I developed an addiction for the weed, then built an insane tolerance for the drug which meant buying larger amounts to achieve the desired effects I experienced earlier when I started to smoke it. After a while of abusing weed you start smoking just to feel normal.

Rehab did nothing for me. All we did was sit there and share our stories
and experiences with addiction. I dismissed myself from the program because I knew that others have the same problem, and I knew that. I didn't need anyone to tell me their experiences because they were basically all the same. No ******* surprise. That group stuff works for many people and I'm truly happy to know that. It just didn't do anything
for me. Some of you reading this may find that like "Sharing" experiences
and reading my methods to quit unhelpful. I do hope it does help though.

This list below is what I had to do to be successful.

1. I had to be willing to suffer the mental and physical pain of withdrawal all the way and really "WANT" to quit.

2. It's very noble to quit for your loved ones, but you "MUST" have to do it for yourself as well.

3. I incorporated "Antabuse" into my daily "Vitamin B Complex".

4. Video games were an integral part of my recovery. They helped keep my mind off getting drunk and stoned 24/7. Words just can't express how much "NBA JAM" and "Sonic" that I played.

5. I made sure that I always had a huge bag of candy at my side, as quitting booze makes you crave sugar in different people.

6. I was sick and tired of not having anything. Two things that alcoholism makes myself and many others are a thief and a liar. I'm not proud of it, but I stole my mother's rings, cash from her purse, and constantly at her for more money. I also was so far gone, I sold my possessions to buy it. Getting drunk and high and playing video games was a blast. Sadly though, when you hawk your game console for liquor/drug money the very thing that you enjoy doing while under the influence isn't there because you hawked it.

7. Prayed my ******' ass off.

8. As much as it hurt my feelings deeply, I had to avoid contact with my
"Friends" who got loaded every day. Our friendships were toxic and drug fueled. I'm not saying that it wasn't fun hanging out, but it was ********.
All of us knew that we only chilled out when drugs or booze were involved.

9. My doctor prescribed me "Antabuse" but would budge on giving me tranqs to help take the edge off. Plus, those and booze can be fatal, and I have an addictive personality. He also said that if I didn't make a true effort to quit drinking, he would drop me as a patient. This really hit home because doctors in my city that are accepting new patients are very, very rare. Plus, I can understand why he would do so.

10. This last reason is really hard to say, but I got drunk one night and punched my sister in the face and broke her kitchen windows. Her husband beat the **** out of me. I didn't blame him one bit. After that,
I just said, **** this, and made up my mind to end this dire life of drugs and booze.

11. I read this book below in combo with the Bible.

I know that this post is a long one, but it had to be in order to fully express myself.

"The Power Of Positive Thinking"

http://www.4shared.com/office/338-B48f/Norman_Vincent_Peale_-_The_Pow.htm


"Adobe X"

http://www.adobe.com/products/reader.html

 

[LoneKiller]

Various TouTube Videos

[YOUTUBE]OdEAa-IkfqE[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]c1bwMOc0I7Y[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]CTI-QsTAuTw&feature=related[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]BKX1orBiaCI&feature=related[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]GHc_z20rkQA&feature=related[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]GgBl9H7K7EE[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]gBWmMtcXQGk[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]bxor6KSgTIs[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]9_oDqdncYt4[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]xp4QVYNAFcQ[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]7jddpc5ZBCs&feature=related[/YOUTUBE[YOUTUBE]rNQHfrYE80A&feature=relate[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]rc-82IkskHc[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]w-HrDoOfVX0[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]CZ4qfDWe8Uw&feature=related[/YOUTUBE][YOUTUBE]0nRpRnSCZd0&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

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How To Get Out Of Jury Duty

http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-Jury-Duty


Playable NES Screensavers

http://www.gossipgamers.com/playable-nes-theme-screensavers/


29100+ Free Computer Screensavers

http://computerscreensavers.ezthemes.com/pcenhance/ss/spotlight.phtml?anime

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Hi People

I can't complain about how my day went. I bought "RE 5" for $15 at a local used and new goods store. My brother suggested that I try so I figured why not. I haven't played it yet because I've been playing "Breath Of Fire 4" for most of the day.

Today for some reason, I would feel great for a bit then feel bad for a bit. These up and down emotions are a bitch. Has this ever happened to you? I'm sure it's just my meds. Some are likely to cause these emotions until it builds up effective levels in my system.

In two months, I take my test for my blue belt from my instructor. This is a tough one. The hyung is complex. I'm nervous about it already. I've worked on it for a long time now. If I fail, I'll be very disappointed in myself.

I saw my brother earlier today for the first time in a long while. He has really put on the beef. Big time! I never brought it up because I don't want to hurt him. I just hope that this weight gain isn't an unhealthy one. I love him very much and I don't want him sick.

Other than that, not much else has happened today worth mentioning.
Do any of you know of any sites besides "Docs4You" to download various docs? I'm kinda having some difficulty finding ones as good as "Docs4You".

Be Well Everyone.

Mystery Links:

http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/nose_send.here

http://www.crystalinks.com/shc.html

http://www.darksites.com/evilplan.php

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think it's great you quit alcohol and drugs. How long have you been sober?

 

[LoneKiller]

I think it's great you quit alcohol and drugs. How long have you been sober?

Thank you Sophia.

I've been clean and sober a little north of 10 years.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think it's great you quit alcohol and drugs. How long have you been sober?

Thank you Sophia.

I've been clean and sober a little north of 10 years.

What has happened in your life since then?

 

[LoneKiller]

I think it's great you quit alcohol and drugs. How long have you been sober?

Thank you Sophia.

I've been clean and sober a little north of 10 years.

What has happened in your life since then?

Since then, I have more money to buy things I truly enjoy such as video games, chess books, and various computer accessories, Chinese takeout. The lemon chicken may cost $12, but it is so awesome.

I've earned more respect from those who mean the most to me. The members at the chess club who are more than familiar with my addiction history that kicked me out of the club at the time now support and respect me, and like being around me now.

I'm no longer causing my family pain and embarrassment. My doctor now
has made sure just how much he appreciates what I went through by speaking to me more respectfully as opposed to damn near dropping me as a patient back when I was a walking ****-up.

People don't mind loaning me money now because they no that I won't drink it and never pay them back. I've earned a lot of the trust back from those who didn't trust me when I was drinking. I no longer suffer the wicked hangovers I used to get either. My ambition has been resurrected as well. I want to do more things in life. Addiction robbed me of that in the past.

I believe that God isn't as disappointed in me as much anymore.
My emotions have revived. I'm not in a constant zombie emotionless shell of a person anymore. I laugh more, I cry if something touches my heart. My self respect has returned which in turn, causes others to respect me as well. Because I've been through such a strong struggle, I now have real empathy and compassion for those poor souls who are suffering now like I used to.

My chess has improved. I could fill a book with all the positive things that have changed since I kicked so I'll leave you on this note. Words can't express how much more enjoyable and secure my life has been since. I'm so proud of myself for what I worked so hard to overcome. And let me tell you. It feels damn good.

 

[LoneKiller]

Hey People.

I'm watching a little CNN. The footage of all the violence and disharmony
in Syria and other middle eastern countries makes me realize and appreciate just how blessed I am to live where I do.(Canada) I could not imagine how
living there.

I think that next time I'm about bitch and moan about things in this country, I'm going to bite my tongue and realize just how fortunate I am.

God Bless.
-LK

 

[LoneKiller]

A Zillion Free Online Strategy Guides

Site: Just Click The Rapidshare Link

http://rapidog.com/white-knight-chronicles-2-official-strategy-guide-rapidshare.html


Adobe Reader X

http://www.adobe.com/products/reader.html

 

[SophiaGrace]

Sounds like your life has improved since you got sober

 

[markyj82]

Addiction is a word that can't be understood by a person who has never experienced addiction. I was a heavy user of meth in my teenage years (15 to 22). I started smoking it but decided to inject for a one off, bad decision. I got clean at 22, I thought, what I did was change one substance for another alcohol. I am an alcoholic, I havn't had a drink for 5 months. I see a psychologist who has saved me from ending my life, Ive attempted suicide twice. I had a brain scan which found I wasn't getting enough blood to my frontal lobe and side lobes as well as lacking chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and other chemicals. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I have uncontrollable anger like a savage animal due to my lack of blood to the front lobe and emotionally I am masculine and shut out the feminine side which causes problems with me. I 'am on seroquel xr 50 an 8 hour slow release sedative (it is mainly used for people that have bi polar and as a anti psychotic), I 'am on Xanax to control my anger, I'am on lamotrigine for my side lobes, I 'am on dex for ADHD and I'm on Lexapro an anti depressant as I've had severe depression all my life.

I fear nothing now, I'm facing something that destroys someone's soul. I had a choice at 15 to face my problems in life or to be like society and fit in. I'am 29 making the hard choices and accepting who I'am.

I thought I would share this as I can understand what your talking about.

 

[LoneKiller]

Addiction is a word that can't be understood by a person who has never experienced addiction. I was a heavy user of meth in my teenage years (15 to 22). I started smoking it but decided to inject for a one off, bad decision. I got clean at 22, I thought, what I did was change one substance for another alcohol. I am an alcoholic, I havn't had a drink for 5 months. I see a psychologist who has saved me from ending my life, Ive attempted suicide twice. I had a brain scan which found I wasn't getting enough blood to my frontal lobe and side lobes as well as lacking chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and other chemicals. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I have uncontrollable anger like a savage animal due to my lack of blood to the front lobe and emotionally I am masculine and shut out the feminine side which causes problems with me. I 'am on seroquel xr 50 an 8 hour slow release sedative (it is mainly used for people that have bi polar and as a anti psychotic), I 'am on Xanax to control my anger, I'am on lamotrigine for my side lobes, I 'am on dex for ADHD and I'm on Lexapro an anti depressant as I've had severe depression all my life.

I fear nothing now, I'm facing something that destroys someone's soul. I had a choice at 15 to face my problems in life or to be like society and fit in. I'am 29 making the hard choices and accepting who I'am.

I thought I would share this as I can understand what your talking about.

**** me! I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about those truly serious problems you are suffering with. I take around 8 pills a day. The 2 most important ones are Prozac and Risperidone. My doctor won't prescribe me any tranqs.

I'm happy to hear that you've been on the wagon for 5 months. Excessive liquor consumption can render some meds ineffective. I'm a recovering cross user myself. I've been clean for a little north of 10 years
now. I admire your strength. I know how difficult it is to kick.

Even though I don't like alcohol, with the magnitude of your suffering, I can see why you would want drown it away. I want to thank you for sharing your experiences, and give you one tip about alcohol. Don't EVER say that you have it beat. Be proud of yourself for kicking, but also be humble.

Again, gratz on your 5 months. That is an eternity to an alcoholic. Be well and stay strong. Don't let it beat you.

Sincerely,
-LK

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Sounds like your life has improved since you got sober

Oh, my yes!

 

[LoneKiller]

Hi viewers.

Earlier today, my grandmother made a remark about pro athletes that I've heard so many times. She said that nobody is worth the amount of money these athletes make. When people say this, I think that some don't take into consideration a few things.

1. I'm not sure about other sports, but the NBA drafts maybe 1 out of every 700 hopefuls to play. Making pro is damn near impossible.

2. Not every player makes $40,000,000 a year. Superstars like MJ, Lebron James, and Kobe Bryant for example are considered exceptional, even in this elite league.

3. Getting into the NBA is hard enough. Staying there is just as hard. Kobe Bryant for example is a shooting guard. If you are a rookie shooting guard, new to the league, you would never get any decent playing time playing behind a superstar such as Bryant, making it much tougher to
show everyone your skills. If I were a rookie in the NBA, I would want to play behind the worst player on the team. The chances of you getting to play would be much better.

4. Even your private life can become public knowledge. Back when MJ was playing, he got into a little trouble because of gambling from time to time on his own time, but because he's considered a role model, it looks bad. These athletes would love to go out to a quiet bar just to have a drink without 10 zillion fans approaching them for autographs and conversation.

5. Camera crews up their ass 24/7 lunatic stalker fans always trying to find out every move they make and can even be dangerous to these
athletes. When you are a celebrity, you are vulnerable.

6. Not all players bring their families with them on the road, which means that their wives would have to be very understanding. Their children as well.

People will say that it comes with the territory. Yes it does. You don't think that these these guys wake up one morning and absolutely dread playing the same night? Basketball is a business, and it's their job to play and win games.

A plethora of the pros do donate to charity but choose remain silent about it in most cases, except one time with Shaq. If memory serves he played for LSU college. When hurricane Katrina hit, he donated $3,000,000 in aid to those poor souls. He didn't purposely make it a public affair, the media took it up. Yes. it's a "Write-Off" but it's not like he was obligated to do it.

These players on average retire around 38-39 years of age. For most superstars their average NBA career usually lasts around 20 years. Most players who aren't as exceptional in skill as Jordan or James, might only last in the league around 4-5 years. In my books, I believe they deserve every penny.

Thanks for viewing. I know this was a long one.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Yes, and after their career ends they have to figure out what they're going to do to continue to make money since the thing they have trained so hard for for years of their life has run out on them.

 

[LoneKiller]

Yes, and after their career ends they have to figure out what they're going to do to continue to make money since the thing they have trained so hard for for years of their life has run out on them.

Hi Sophia.

I understand what you are saying, but retired superstars like Michael Jordan or Shaq, quite often continue to receive residual checks from various outfits to keep earning money after retirement. MJ for example still receives royalties from many athletic companies. They are still selling "Air Jordan" basketball shoes today.

He recently was added as a player in the basketball video game"NBA 2K11" which I'm certain fattened his wallet some. Most of these players also have college degrees to fall back on, which is why some players who don't cut the mustard in the NBA and are released very early in their careers, have something to work with.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Well, i'm sure being in the NBA looks great on someone's resume.

 

[LoneKiller]

Well, i'm sure being in the NBA looks great on someone's resume.

LOL

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What Kind Of "Lonely" Are You?

I'm not the kind of lonely that means I have nobody in my life. I live with my folks and my grandmother who aren't down with computers, sports, video games, chess, etc.

Pretty tough to chat with them about "Final Fantasy" or "Tekken".

 

[LoneKiller]

If anyone calls and says they are from Microsoft. Hang up.

http://www.google.com/cse?cx=partne...volves pretend microsoft employees&gsc.page=1

 

[Poguesy]

I already got my phone call.

Told 'em to feck off