Men - do you feel yourself becoming an 'incel'?

[TheRealCallie]

Incel is a slang term coined from "involuntary celibacy." Yes, it is in the dictionary now, but it was coined by a person. In 1997 it was invcel, but shortened to incel in 1999. The definition is accurate, but it does mean involuntary celibacy.

 

[Unsigned]

No, but people get information from bs sources instead of reputable ones, and roll with it. If you WANT to consider yourself involuntarily celibate, that's still a choice even if it hurts. The truth hurts, but it still states a fact.

Hi.

Not arguing on this subject, just want to point something out.
The dictionary definition your received was from google, correct?

When I searched "incel definition" on duckduckgo I got the below, which was much more to my original understanding.
My understanding is that the "hostile to women" part is in relation to the "incel community" on Reddit & such.
If you see the below, the last sentence references the subculture, but does not put it as a requirement for "incel" as google does.

I am always very careful about trusting what google has to say...

 

[Unsigned]

Also, a funny story.
Even though I have been sexually active since 19, there are guys I know who refer to me as an "incel", because I have never been with a girl I did not pay.
I think that is ridiculous.
But to be honest, the ones who say it almost certainly mean it as an insult and are trying to get under my skin.
There are guys who resent what I do for some reason.
Some act very offended that I pay women, other act offended that I think I am "too good" to be with an average looking or age appropriate woman.
For those guys, "Incel" is their goto insult.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Hi.

Not arguing on this subject, just want to point something out.
The dictionary definition your received was from google, correct?

When I searched "incel definition" on duckduckgo I got the below, which was much more to my original understanding.
My understanding is that the "hostile to women" part is in relation to the "incel community" on Reddit & such.
If you see the below, the last sentence references the subculture, but does not put it as a requirement for "incel" as google does.

I am always very careful about trusting what google has to say...

View attachment 10143

No, I got mine from a dictionary website. but I'm always cautious about where I get my information from. But, I don't like to take the information from AI, as it's normally misconstrued or manipulated into other things. Either way, an incel is a personal choice.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Oh and hello! @Unsigned

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'd also like to point out that incel was coined by a woman, so you men stole it. lol

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

You got this "involuntarily celibate" from urban dictionary, which isn't a real dictionary. Why not get valuable resources from reputable websites.

I don't use urban dictionary because I'm not 14.

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

But, don't forget, you're choosing to be an incel.

Hi.

Not arguing on this subject, just want to point something out.
The dictionary definition your received was from google, correct?

When I searched "incel definition" on duckduckgo I got the below, which was much more to my original understanding.
My understanding is that the "hostile to women" part is in relation to the "incel community" on Reddit & such.
If you see the below, the last sentence references the subculture, but does not put it as a requirement for "incel" as google does.

I am always very careful about trusting what google has to say...

View attachment 10143

Careful! That might secretly be Urban Dictionary!

Anyways yes "IN-CEL" means involuntarily celibate like I said. The common new affiliation with the term is generally attributed to angry men that are bitter due to romantic rejection.

And finally... how can you CHOOSE to be involuntarily celibate? Do you you even read the stuff you write, HellsLittleAngel?

 

[ardour]

I've alo noticed the definition of incel has broadened lately to mean any man behaving in a way widely disapproved of. Men who date outside their age range or are attracted to conventional beauty for example. It can even mean married men with trad con views on gender relations. Basically anyone who isn't demonstrably feminist or expressing views considered misogynistic.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

Careful! That might secretly be Urban Dictionary!

Anyways yes "IN-CEL" means involuntarily celibate like I said. The common new affiliation with the term is generally attributed to angry men that are bitter due to romantic rejection.

And finally... how can you CHOOSE to be involuntarily celibate? Do you you even read the stuff you write, HellsLittleAngel?

Yes I do, and yes, like I've said many other times, you're choosing to be this way. It's not mandatory, but if it's you who stands behind this, you choose to be this way. Nobody's forcing you to do this.

 

[HellsLittleAngel]

I don't use urban dictionary because I'm not 14.

Me either, but when you look it up, that's what comes up, lol.

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

Me either, but when you look it up, that's what comes up, lol.

Almost as if that was the common definition for the last ten or more years.

Yes I do, and yes, like I've said many other times, you're choosing to be this way. It's not mandatory, but if it's you who stands behind this, you choose to be this way. Nobody's forcing you to do this.

Forcing me to do what? Be an incel? I'm not celibate voluntarily or otherwise. I'm just the guy that remembers the definition before it became merely an insult to be thrown at men we don't like.

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

I've alo noticed the definition of incel has broadened lately to mean any man behaving in a way widely disapproved of. Men who date outside their age range or are attracted to conventional beauty for example. It can even mean married men with trad con views on gender relations. Basically anyone who isn't demonstrably feminist or expressing views considered misogynistic.

The current generation of teenagers-to-twenty-somethings has made slang of terms, a trend that happens continually. Incel was a term that was mainly meant to apply to men that wanted to have sex but for whatever reason were incapable. Lately the meaning has changed to be used as an insult regardless of the sexual activity of the recipient. That being said for the basis of this thread I think it's safe to stick with the original definition.

 

[Hoarse Whisperer]

I'd also like to point out that incel was coined by a woman, so you men stole it. lol

"Don't appropriate our inceldom!"

 

[FlynnRyder]

I've alo noticed the definition of incel has broadened lately to mean any man behaving in a way widely disapproved of. Men who date outside their age range or are attracted to conventional beauty for example. It can even mean married men with trad con views on gender relations. Basically anyone who isn't demonstrably feminist or expressing views considered misogynistic.

yeah, it's become a misandrist slur at this point.
you ain't agreeing with the normies on a gender issue? "shut up, incel."
and all it does it reinforce the stereotype that sex with women is tied to agency within the world.
you can be a casanova with the ladies, laying down 10s night in and night out, and still be worthless scum.
you can be a virgin basement dweller, but still be a shining star due to the content of your character.

 

[Unsigned]

No, but people get information from bs sources instead of reputable ones, and roll with it. If you WANT to consider yourself involuntarily celibate, that's still a choice even if it hurts. The truth hurts, but it still states a fact.

I know this may be unpopular with the females, but...
Unless a violent crime is involved, females 100% make the decision to have sex.
A law abiding male is completely dependent upon a female saying yes.
Given the above, there are ABSOLUTELY circumstances where a male is "involuntarily celibate" because no female is receptive towards him.
I am not saying females don't experience misery in life.
Just saying this particular misery dwells within the male realm.

 

[Zak]

I didn't know of this term incel till 2021 or some. Got that knowledge from this forum. I looked up urban dictionary and got a good grasp of stuff, and I do check urban dictionary quite often to understand new generation terms that make me cringe. It's a great website. But this particular term was being casually thrown out in the open by many to mask their own issues/shortcomings, just to shift the blame on the female gender, not owning up to any other aspect of their life. Also, a few members of the female population, as I see often use it as a synonym for "loser".

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, that's your theory, and I'm not sure what I can say to dissuade you from that, but all I can say from this side is that it's just not true. I'm fairly happy and confident in social settings, I only really ask someone out if I think it's likely she might say yes, and obviously being in an interaction where you think someone likes you, makes you feel good. I'm turned down when I feel good and projecting positivity, I'm also turned down over photos, where I cannot be saying the wrong thing or projecting negatively etc.

So my issue yesterday wasn't a lack of coffee, it was the beginning stages of a migraine. I looked at my post yesterday afternoon and I can honestly say I don't even remember posting it. I was very confused.
Anyway, I think I was partially confusing you with someone else, because now that I can almost think straight (still have a bit of after effects of the migraine), I don't really know what your issues are. I believe you've said you don't have any particular preference for women, therefore you try all types of women and don't really get anywhere (is this correct?). While I do think you can fool yourself into thinking you project positivity, I don't know if the vibe you give off is your issue, but I also don't really think your looks are the issue. You are a conundrum to me. I don't know what you look like, so I can't really say if it's your looks, but I seriously doubt that, because SOMEONE would have given you a chance, IMO. So i think without actually knowing you better or seeing you in person and how you navigate day to day situations, I can't really give you any concrete opinion about what the issue is. I can only think you're not giving us all the information. That isn't meant to be offensive and I'm not calling you a liar, we all hold things back online or don't realize we do certain things so we won't mention them because we aren't aware of them.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I know this may be unpopular with the females, but...
Unless a violent crime is involved, females 100% make the decision to have sex.
A law abiding male is completely dependent upon a female saying yes.
Given the above, there are ABSOLUTELY circumstances where a male is "involuntarily celibate" because no female is receptive towards him.
I am not saying females don't experience misery in life.
Just saying this particular misery dwells within the male realm.

Why would this be unpopular with women? We do hold the cards in that particular situation. At least in today's world.

 

[TheSkaFish]

At the end of the day all of this is just semantics. It doesn't matter.

All that matters is if you get out or not.