Is Therapy Worth It For Being Ugly?

[TheRealCallie]

You know....my youngest son used to play with dolls when he was little, he would get mad when my older niece wouldn't play with him. Hell, he will still play with dolls if he's watching a little girl. And there's no one on this Earth who would say he's not a "manly" man.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I missed this. Do you think I'm Callie posting under another name? If so, I can assure you that's not the case, and that the two of us have had a few disagreements.

Um, if you are me, could you like help me out with stuff? I'm tired of doing it all myself. lol

Also, this is why I should never agree with any of you. It causes too many problems.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I feel like y’all have gone wildly off topic here.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I feel like y’all have gone wildly off topic here.

Yes, yes it has.

So, have you made a decision on therapy yet? If you wouldn't have to pay for it, I would say give it a shot. It certainly won't hurt anything, right?

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Yes, yes it has.

So, have you made a decision on therapy yet? If you wouldn't have to pay for it, I would say give it a shot. It certainly won't hurt anything, right?

Like I said, it's not that I'm *against* it as a practice, I'm just unsure of how it's applicable here. I have to agree with my friend when she says that what I'm doing is not working, which is fair, but so far I'm not hearing any convincing argument that therapy is the solution.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Like I said, it's not that I'm *against* it as a practice, I'm just unsure of how it's applicable here. I have to agree with my friend when she says that what I'm doing is not working, which is fair, but so far I'm not hearing any convincing argument that therapy is the solution.

Honestly, therapy will only work if you are open to it working. If you are looking for solutions and you are going to take an active role in doing what the therapist suggests. No one can guarantee it's going to work for you, but at the same time, we can't guarantee that it won't work for you. Like I said before, everyone could probably be benefited in some way by therapy. So, if you can try it out for free, will you be any worse off than you are now?

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

Honestly, therapy will only work if you are open to it working. If you are looking for solutions and you are going to take an active role in doing what the therapist suggests. No one can guarantee it's going to work for you, but at the same time, we can't guarantee that it won't work for you. Like I said before, everyone could probably be benefited in some way by therapy. So, if you can try it out for free, will you be any worse off than you are now?

I suppose it's the element of putting my energy into X, whereas I could be putting it into Y. If I heard a convincing argument that it's going to be helpful, it would make me more motivated to jump through the various hoops to do so.

Even within this thread, it's difficult to be understood; I open with (and repeated) that I don't think I'm ugly personally, but that's the reaction I get from the world, and the next post will be "Sorry you feel unattractive, you need to work on your confidence!" and it makes me wonder if we're all speaking and reading the same language.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I suppose it's the element of putting my energy into X, whereas I could be putting it into Y. If I heard a convincing argument that it's going to be helpful, it would make me more motivated to jump through the various hoops to do so.

Even within this thread, it's difficult to be understood; I open with (and repeated) that I don't think I'm ugly personally, but that's the reaction I get from the world, and the next post will be "Sorry you feel unattractive, you need to work on your confidence!" and it makes me wonder if we're all speaking and reading the same language.

I would guess a lot of people just read the title and assume.

I can understand you not wanting to do X when you can do Y, but do you have a Y that isn't what you've always been doing?

 

[Unsigned]

whereas I could be putting it into Y

What is "Y" for you, though?

For me, "Y" was/is (since 1985), escorts.
So if the females you find attractive are not giving you the attention you want, what is your plan B?

And please don't say "ending it all". You are a young guy. That is not plan B. That is plan Z.

 

[ardour]

It’s not mocking, it defining roles and if you can’t get with it then enjoy b hood too

So are you prepared to play the feminine role - submissive, prepared to be a stay at home mother if that's what he wants - or does the defined gender only apply to men?

To be honest you don't sound particularly feminine.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I can understand you not wanting to do X when you can do Y, but do you have a Y that isn't what you've always been doing?

I do not, which is a point of frustration.

What is "Y" for you, though?

For me, "Y" was/is (since 1985), escorts.
So if the females you find attractive are not giving you the attention you want, what is your plan B?

And please don't say "ending it all". You are a young guy. That is not plan B. That is plan Z.

Took the words out of my mouth, fella. It's not a case of "wanting to", but if I can't get what I want out of life, I don't see what else there is. By which I mean, there really is nothing else that I want, other than to no longer live in a world where I'm seen as ugly & unwanted.

 

[Unsigned]

I do not, which is a point of frustration.


Took the words out of my mouth, fella. It's not a case of "wanting to", but if I can't get what I want out of life, I don't see what else there is. By which I mean, there really is nothing else that I want, other than to no longer live in a world where I'm seen as ugly & unwanted.

I'm sorry, but there are other things.
Being well off is not so bad.
Upscale escorts are not that bad -- better than some mediocre Millie that might "love me".
Going to the beach.
Walking in the park.
Going up to Lake Ontario to see the eclipse.
Trips I will take in the future, especially when my new passport gets here.
Enjoying a nice meal out and a couple of Martinis, Manhattans, or Tequilas.
YES...I WISH I HAD A YOUNG PRETTY GIRLFRIEND.
But...when I see guys my age with hideous monstrosities as SOs, and rotten kids who give them nothing but grief...I realize I have a better life.

 

[user 191088]

YES...I WISH I HAD A YOUNG PRETTY GIRLFRIEND.

This is like the biggest mistery in the universe to me, but I've never actually said it. Dude's rich yet he can't find a girlfriend. My man, if I were rich not only would I be able find a pretty girlfriend in like a week at most, pretty girls would be fighting for me in true latina style. And I would still dump them all because I don't no woman who wants me only for my money, no...

 

[Unsigned]

This is like the biggest mistery in the universe to me, but I've never actually said it. Dude's rich yet he can't find a girlfriend. My man, if I were rich not only would I be able find a pretty girlfriend in like a week at most, pretty girls would be fighting for me in true latina style. And I would still dump them all because I don't no woman who wants me only for my money, no...

Well now I am old, so...

And yeah...most of my time, even when a young man, was spent watching TV and drinking, or going to prostitutes.
I admit, I have never really "put myself out there".
The only times I have "cold approached" was when being chided by other guys.

Getting thrown into mud puddles in HS has certain ramifications downstream in life.

 

[Minus]

I feel like y’all have gone wildly off topic here.

This thread is an issue thread that has gone too far off topic.

It also doesn't need the bickering.

As far as one of the claims, Callie has not been using a second account. She is rather familiar with people disagreeing with her and hasn't resorted to sock puppets.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

I'm sorry, but there are other things.
Being well off is not so bad.
Upscale escorts are not that bad -- better than some mediocre Millie that might "love me".
Going to the beach.
Walking in the park.
Going up to Lake Ontario to see the eclipse.
Trips I will take in the future, especially when my new passport gets here.
Enjoying a nice meal out and a couple of Martinis, Manhattans, or Tequilas.
YES...I WISH I HAD A YOUNG PRETTY GIRLFRIEND.
But...when I see guys my age with hideous monstrosities as SOs, and rotten kids who give them nothing but grief...I realize I have a better life.

Well, that's your thing and I'm glad you found it. Good for you, but it's not for me. There really is nothing else that I want, so the idea of never getting it does make me want to end it.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well now I am old, so...

And yeah...most of my time, even when a young man, was spent watching TV and drinking, or going to prostitutes.
I admit, I have never really "put myself out there".
The only times I have "cold approached" was when being chided by other guys.

Getting thrown into mud puddles in HS has certain ramifications downstream in life.

I don't recall if this was ever suggested (pretty sure it has been) but what about being a sugar daddy? That would get you the girls you want and there are sites for that.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I do not, which is a point of frustration.


Took the words out of my mouth, fella. It's not a case of "wanting to", but if I can't get what I want out of life, I don't see what else there is. By which I mean, there really is nothing else that I want, other than to no longer live in a world where I'm seen as ugly & unwanted.

If you have no Y, why is trying X such a big deal? It's just one more thing you can try before Y comes along. Hell, maybe X will even give you the Y.

 

[MysteriousTelephone]

If you have no Y, why is trying X such a big deal? It's just one more thing you can try before Y comes along. Hell, maybe X will even give you the Y.

Like I said, I just want some indication a thing is worthwhile before I commit time and energy to the thing. And even then, what's the acceptable amount of time to say I tried it? A year? Two years? Five?

 

[ringwood]

Like I said, I just want some indication a thing is worthwhile before I commit time and energy to the thing. And even then, what's the acceptable amount of time to say I tried it? A year? Two years? Five?

But here’s the thing about therapy - you’re not going to know it’s a worthwhile pursuit unless you decide to put the time and energy into it. You either make the decision to try it wholeheartedly or not. Some people have found therapy life-changing, others have found it useless. It may work, it may not, but like I and others have said - what do you have to lose? As to a time commitment, that’s up to you. Personally, if I made the commitment to start therapy myself, I’d give it at least 6 months or so before deciding ‘is this working or not?’