Loneliness/Depression makes me want to stay in the house

[oopsiedoop]

That's me!!

 

[VeganAtheist]

I too have retreated to my home base. I thought things were better -- and for a bit, they were -- but it seems to have gone back to normal.

In the past, I would make purposeful trips out to various places just to see if I could meet people. I would always return home defeated and worse off than before I left. I feel like I just need to cut out the middle activity.

I still do the 'normal' things -- grocery shopping, clothe shopping, library, etc. -- but only with those goals in mind. I tend to ignore everyone else exists and just go about my business. It hurts less that way.

 

[Unwanted94]

In a way it makes sense, when I'm out, I can't hide that I'm alone. But that's the ultimate triumph of loneliness, needing to hide it, because that is the final trap that eats away at the whole rest of your life and what you could be doing. But breaking away from it feels painful.

Hiding your loneliness? I don't know. That's not the case with me. I want people to know that I'm alone. That's what got me into wanting to be a singer-songwriter. Most people would probably think I'm "OK." but inside, I'm a mess,and so I just express myself. I feel worse when my feelings are bottled up. I don't like misconceptions about myself, so I try to embrace who I am sometimes, and keep it "real". A lot of times,when I'm feeling low, I actually want to leave the house. Not stay in. I think staying in actually increases the feelings of isolation,which then contribute to depression.

 

[blackdot]

I pretty much spend all my time at home where no one comes to visit. It's safer at home. No other people to remind me of being single.
I have a friend from college that keeps advising me to just be a hermit. He got hurt by someone and decided to just live with his parents all his life and never get out of the house.
I'm trying to avoid that route although the older I get the more I realize that may be the only option.

 

[Nolife Princess]

shoot, as awful as it does feel, that is the perfect time to take advantage and go out anyways.. I hit the malls, why? because you SEE everyone... and not everyone is always a 'happy idiot' you see folks pain, depression, and loneliness, you know then you are not alone.
seriously... try it, you will see.

*the shopping is a plus too* looove Victoria secret, and bath and body works in the mall!!

 

[blackdot]

I hate to spend money.
I'm quite sure going out shopping is not a great idea for me.

 

[Tiina63]

I find it a constant fight to keep forcing myself to go out. My loneliness and depression can be so deep that staying in, even though I know it will make me feel worse, can seem like the easier option. This morning I got up to go to the writing group I belong to and I sat and had a long cry and decided not to go. Then I thought that not going would only make me feel lower, so I made myself go. I felt better when I was there, though feel sad again now. But I am glad I went.

 

[Nolife Princess]

I hate to spend money.
I'm quite sure going out shopping is not a great idea for me.

Well one does not have to spend money to go walk around the mall, and ppl watch! (Ive met some really cool folks just browsing the mall.. met a guy just right before Christmas, I was sitting in the food court( I know!) and I was drinking sweet ice tea, looking at all my buys- and he just walked up, asked me if he could sit with me (the food court was packed!) and I said sure.. we chatted, and it was fun! he had his lunch, I had my tea, and we laughed (he asked for my phone number--I said no no) and he shook my hand, and we parted ways! but it was nice... just 2 ships passing in the night *laugh*
however spending money is nice!!
matter fact, I LOOOVE spending money....... I do!

 

[blackdot]

*cringes at the idea of people watching at the mall*
too many couples and groups of friends are at the mall.
way too depressing.

I can't spend money. which is why I am able to do things like pay off my house. *laughs*

 

[Nolife Princess]

*cringes at the idea of people watching at the mall*
too many couples and groups of friends are at the mall.
way too depressing.

I can't spend money. which is why I am able to do things like pay off my house. *laughs*

Paying ones home off is a GOOD thang! nothing wrong with that! (

But whats wrong with people watching? I love it, I like to see the styles of each individual , clothing, hairstyles, make up, shoes, coats... everything, I love to see and learn, or just enjoy!
(Im a hairdresser) so I LOVE looking at the different hairstyles by default. (
ALSO I am a people person, so I love being smack dab in the middle of EVERYTHING going on. *S* really I do!

 

[blackdot]

Because I go into deep depression watching other couples

 

[Nolife Princess]

Because I go into deep depression watching other couples

I'm sorry... If I lived near you, I would happily hold your hand.. (
huggs

 

[oopsiedoop]

Hiding your loneliness? I don't know. That's not the case with me. I want people to know that I'm alone. That's what got me into wanting to be a singer-songwriter. Most people would probably think I'm "OK." but inside, I'm a mess,and so I just express myself. I feel worse when my feelings are bottled up. I don't like misconceptions about myself, so I try to embrace who I am sometimes, and keep it "real". A lot of times,when I'm feeling low, I actually want to leave the house. Not stay in. I think staying in actually increases the feelings of isolation,which then contribute to depression.

You're lucky you still feel that way, that someone is worthy of listening, that someone will understand and care instead of that the reason you feel lonely is because nobody does and so going out is agony.

 

[lonely_one]

Me too, done it again today. Woke up and went back to bed because no motivation to go out, what for? Nothing to do, no job. Iam so fed up of this

 

[blackdot]

I'm at work and the guy across from me is talking about his trip to Germany.
ugh...
I wish I could travel.

 

[SadCassie]

I tried a date today. This person was so self aggrandizing and self obsessed...he never asked me a single thing about myself. I was left feeling lonelier than ever.

 

[Juri]

I kinda feel the same I think.

It somehow feels like I should be ashamed of being lonely. You could not go to a restaurant and eat alone without getting a couple of weird looks and this applies to a lot of different situations. Of course there are exceptions like shopping which is generally done alone anyways, but I personally would never even dare coming near a bar without anyone to go in with.

I think being lonely is still somewhat of a "taboo" in our society and people try to avoid that topic or hide their own problems. If you would meet a person and would be honest to him or her and tell that person that you actually feel rather lonely and don't have a whole lot of friends in general I would expect that person to be creeped out of their minds ( Unless they are really really close of course.)

I wish I would not live in a tiny village so I could try to attend to some groups or something like that. Those are pretty much non-existant here.

 

[aribeth]

I stay in my apartment a lot. I try to find places to go to so I can get off my butt and out of the apartment. Sometimes I think of going for a walk but the question alway pops up, go to where? If I dont have a place to go to then I just don't go ,and stay in my apartment. My list of places to go are not many. I could go to the mall daily but I don't like to spend money. I make so little to start with. There is also the boardwalk, but once you walk it, then what? Theres club 84 and Pheonix rising but people keep to themselves thee a lot. And then there's the heat which doesn't help much either. Hot indoors and hot outside. Need a membership and bus pass to use the pool at the ymca. I just keep running into ruts so most days I don't go anywhere.

 

[MadMonkè]

If I had my own place, I would be holding parties often.
even if no one shows up.

but you are all invited