Lonely is Good

[RandomFella]

Thank you for your honest reply, Callie. Our different opinions give us new perspectives, new things to think about, which is great!

I mean, this is exactly the point. When we listen to our true feelings, when we are 100% honest about what we really want, isn't that fate then?
I lost many interests when I grew older, I enjoyed a lot more different things when I was a kid. So there isn't much left now. Those are my true feelings. So, I focus on the few things that I love now and that I'm actually happy with. I can't help but view my own feelings as fate. Of course, I can try new things, discover something new. But this is fate too. When my heart says "Nope, that's boring..." or "Wow, awesome!", there is nothing I can do about it.

Hm... Bad things and good things are connected, right? We can only value the good things, when we also have experienced bad things... Yes, I agree.
In fact, I value the happiness so much, because I'm very familiar with the darkness.
It is because I'm so familiar with pain, negativity and emptiness that I want to follow the path of positivity.
Meeting the wrong people in the past made that feeling nothing but stronger!

I don't care about differences though. In fact, I cherish them. Because it makes the world more colorful.
But when I talk about different paths, I'm only referring to either having a positive or negative attitude (towards life). I don't care about differences otherwise. Unless... Well, for example, I consider hate, war, racism as negative paths too. And people who are respectful, honest or just peaceful walk on positive paths. The latter are the people that I seek. Just enriching each others lives. And if that's not possible for some reason, being alone is the best option in my opinion.

The paths that I see are also connected in the beginning, just like your coin. You made a very good point that one side can't exist without the other. And I think the same is true for the paths, one path wouldn't exist without the others. I learned this from you.

 

[August Campbell]

How can you have positivity without negativity?  How can you have happiness if you don't know pain?  It's all (again, in my opinion) two sides of the same coin, you can't have one without the other.

Which brings me to what you said about different paths not getting along.  I have to really disagree with this one.  I have several friends who have many different beliefs and outlooks than I do.  It's not a matter agreeing about everything, having the same outlook in life, having the same goals in life.  It's about being mature human beings.  Being able to agree to disagree.  Being able to enjoy each others company and leave the ******** out of it.  If someone can't put aside differences to be there for someone that they are supposed to care about, they weren't really your friend and they didn't care about you all that much to begin with.

Yes, Callie, I agree with you 100%, that there is value in pain.  Because the mental anguish in my childhood finally led to making my dream come true.  In my youth, I did not even know what would make me happy. It took many years before I gradually realized who I am, what I am, how my emotions work, getting it from both books and experiences.  Book-knowledge is Not enough-- one has to learn from experiences also.  
So, yes, pain has value.  Sure, it's awfully Unpleasant, but its value is that it teaches.  Sometimes that's the only way to learn and develop.  There is also the saying "Pain is inevitable but Suffering is optional."  That is, there is a difference between pain and suffering.  Because according to the practice of ZEN, one can feel pain, yet Not suffer.

 

[August Campbell]

Living off the grid is tough, and it's certainly not for everybody. Here in Arizona, we have quite a few folks who live off grid, and I've spoken to a few of 'em... it's a tough way to live, but it has its rewards as well. IMHO, it's better (and easier) to compromise between the two lifestyles, and some of those folks did just that: they worked regular jobs but lived in a self-sufficient manner at home. Moi, I like my hot shower every morning, and all the other creature comforts, but I can appreciate how off-grid living brings one closer to Nature. Fortunately, I'm surrounded by wilderness areas here in rural Arizona, so I'm not that far away either, if you catch my drift. One can also have amenities off-grid...

Having said this, I'll share a crazy dream I once had, and still do to some extent: I always wanted to build my own adobe home on a parcel of mountain or high desert land with a stream running through it, or at the very least a well upon the property. It would totally personify the pioneer spirit, ya know? I understand how satisfying it would be to build my own home, I get why folks do this. But I also like this home I bought and fixed up, it's quite comfortable, and I'm not getting any younger either, so that dream may just remain a dream, which is okay. I still have a million stars overhead at night, I still breathe clean fresh high desert air every day, I still feel that excellent Arizona sunshine... the quality of the light here is amazing.

One thing about off-grid living: get too far away from 'civilization' (and supply points in particular), and your cost of living starts to rise once again. A hand can buy land dirt cheap in Arizona, but water is the key element when it comes to off-grid living. Parcels with wells or other water sources cost considerably more than the dry parcels, I know because I've looked into the whole scene. For me, a compromise works best: I live in 'Goat-Roping Central' where I'm surrounded by wilderness areas and great natural beauty, and I'm far enough away from the Big City to avoid all the problems associated with urban areas. However, I still have all the amenities I'll ever need... a pool would be nice, but there IS one in town.

I think TheSkaFish has it right: some may be into off-grid life, but it's not for everybody. Moi, I've done so much camping in the past, often living in the field for weeks at a time, that I realize how difficult it would be to maintain such a lifestyle. Back in the Old West, they weren't called "hardy pioneers" for nothing, lol. It was often a hardscrabble existence, a daily grind just to survive, let alone put away something for the future. But I see how living closer to Nature could be very rewarding... in my own case, I just happen to be close to wilderness areas ANYWAY, which is just how I wanted it to be when I bought this train wreck of a fixer home. Now my home is quite comfortable, and I still have wilderness access.

JUST MY $.02 HERE, ANYBODY SERIOUS ABOUT OFF-GRID LIVING SHOULD GO ON A WEEKLONG CAMPING TRIP IN A REMOTE WILDERNESS AREA... THAT'LL GIVE ONE A TASTE OF WHAT OFF-GRID LIVING IS LIKE. CHEERS!!! 

Good post, Sidewinder.  It's interesting that at one point you had actually considered off-grid living for yourself.  Sometimes an off-gridder can "cheat" though, by also including an internet-laptop in their lifestyle.  I don't know whether you consider that as cheating or not.  Because I think that when most people think of off-grid, they mean No electronics.  Primitivism is the byword because while some may use a rifle to hunt, the really genuine off-gridders will confine to bow and arrow.  It's really back to basics!

 

[Sidewinder]

Just read your reply, and I think it's best to incorporate elements of both lifestyles, on and off the grid. I might feel differently if I had enough money to buy property with a reliable water source on it: a well, spring, or year-round stream would be great. But those properties are expensive, while cheap fixer homes can still be found on the grid, 10-4? I like my daily showers too, and occasionally a hot bath in cooler weather, lol. Hard to enjoy those when ya gotta ration your hauled water... in such a case, I'd prefer to simply be connected to a municipal or rural water supply. Nothing wrong with living outside town limits, maybe using a septic tank but still on county or rural water... I live in town, where property taxes are always higher than county taxes, but I wouldn't mind living outside town limits if I ever get around to flipping this home and buying another. 

Don't get me wrong, I love the whole notion of building my own home, if I ever do here in the Southwest I will probably use adobe, yeah? And the idea of never having to pay utility bills again is very appealing, but even if you build your own solar power system, tax breaks and incentives notwithstanding, that system will STILL cost you plenty of money, though it'll pay for itself in the long run. I guess what I'm trying to say is that my ideal off-grid home would have thick adobe walls, a metal roof, septic tank, solar & wind power, a reliable water source, and enough windows to allow plenty of natural light into my home. An alternate 'ideal off-grid home' would be some sort of wooden treehouse with heaps of balconies, aerial walkways and remote decks. That would be so cool... kinda like some of those homes seen in 'Treehouse Masters' (I think that's what the show was called).

I remember one cool home in East San Diego County, it was built directly into a huge boulder outcrop, with the rooms situated between monster boulders, lol. Had a huge picture window facing the sunset, I always liked that home... must have been a regular feat of engineering when it was built, with holes drilled & anchors placed directly in the rocks. Badass home for a technical rock climber, lol. I'm pretty sure it was on some kind of septic system, though it might have been tied in to the rural water system out there. Anyway, it was a cool place... some other dude not too far away had a full-on stone CASTLE built atop a ridge, the guy must have been an eccentric, lol. Remember, they're only "poor" if they lack money... the crazy rich folks are "eccentric!" I would've liked to set up a 3-D archery course around that castle... using a shitload of fake human targets, lol. 

Ya know, since we're on this topic of living on or off the grid, I'll tell ya about another cool home I saw back in the day, this one in Huntington Beach (a.k.a. Surf City, USA). Some guy bought an old wooden & metal water tower (pretty sure it was originally for water), then removed the tank and built a home atop the tower, with a primo view clear to the ocean, lol. That was a cool place, high above the neighbors' homes too, so no privacy issues (for the tower dweller, I mean). Plumbing might have called for special measures, as the tower must have been 70' or 80' high, maybe even higher. My friends in HB showed me that place when they gave me a tour of the town, I recall thinking how cool and different it was from the everyday homes around it. Same goes for those old lighthouses that folks buy to renovate and make homes, those things are ******* RADICAL!!! But NOT cheap...

Anyway, I'm back to my wonderfully cool rainy weather here, looks like we have a short break right now, but the forecast calls for more rain tonight and tomorrow. I haven't even turned on my A/C units at all today, got the windows wide open and the fan on to draw cool fresh air through my home. In a way, I employ off-grid techniques here in town, saving money at every opportunity... that's what counts the most nowadays, I reckon. I WISH I had the money to go fully off-grid, but it requires an initial investment and a lot of hard work... I'm not averse to hard work, especially when it's on my own home, but money is the big factor to consider. It's so much cheaper to simply buy a fixer home and put a little money and a lot of work into it, making it a comfortable dwelling, ya know? To me, a home HAS to be COMFORTABLE!!! Otherwise, what's the point of owning it? My homes are always open, airy, and comfortable with plenty of natural light & ventilation. CHEERS!!!    

Edit: Holy Crap!!! I just Googled "tower home in huntington beach ca" and saw some pics of that very home I mentioned!!! Looks as if they've built more floors onto it since I saw it so long ago... ****** looks HIGHER too!!! Maybe it's just a memory lapse on my part, lol. Check it out, man... it's worth the web detour, lol. Of course, I wouldn't want to live there NOW, with all the problems L.A. has, but it's still a good example of how folks can repurpose objects and make homes out of them! Kinda like those folks who buy old missile silos and live underground... not my cuppa tea, I like my views, but still very creative! Moi, I'd be more likely to go with adobe or build a badass treehouse, that's just my nature... my seven brothers & I used to climb some righteous trees on our rental property outside Athens, Greece (1968-1973), we had tall pines & other evergreens with branches just perfect for climbing, lol. Maybe that's where my love of climbing was born, lol... gotta love the views from up in the trees!!!    

Further editing: Say, I'd like to share what I've learned about buying fixer homes with those who might be considering such a purchase in the near future. I may very well flip this home too, so I've been looking at various properties in AZ and NM. I don't wanna leave the Southwest, I like my sunshine, but I also like living at elevation, where it's more comfortable. If I buy another property in the months ahead, I will buy a trailer or manufactured home outside town limits, on septic but still close enough to be on rural water. Possibly on the electric grid too, though I wouldn't mind solar & wind power. Don't want to be too far from supply points either, or that'll cost in fuel & time. But one can still find nice fixer homes with low county taxes, sitting on decent-sized parcels of land. I recently saw two fixer trailers on an acre each (or slightly more), situated in the country but not too far from town... one place had annual property taxes of $55, lol. FIFTY-FIVE LOUSY DOLLARS PER YEAR!!! That's a good way to save heller money, hundreds of dollars every year! Something to consider, since you'll be paying property taxes whether you're on or off the grid. Hard to get around those property taxes, lol...    

Even further editing, lol: Now that I study those HB tower photos, it looks as if the legs are metal and not wood. Whoever renovated the tower may have also left part of the tank in place---the wooden (?) tank cover, maybe? You'd think the tank itself would've been metal, but maybe it was entirely made of wood? Hard to say, it has been DECADES since I saw that place... but it's pretty creative, what those folks did with the tower, huh? Check out the view of the ocean in that one pic... I guess the owners make bank by renting out the tower during the summer? I wonder how much they charge, lol... but that IS one helluva view!!! If you HAD to live in Huntington Beach (some photo files say the tower is in nearby Seal Beach, dunno if that's correct), I guess that'd be the place to do it!!! Sit up there and sip alcoholic beverages, maybe fire up a bowl o' chronic... and perhaps a BBQ on the balcony, lol. Get a telescope for checking the surf, aye? What a cool pad, that tower home... very nicely done, and good thinking to rise above the crowd of neighbors, lol.   :shy:

 

[Sidewinder]

For anyone interested in the story behind that primo water tower home, I found this article and short video on the tower and its history. Hey, visitors can see Catalina Island (or Santa Catalina) from the tower, as well as downtown L.A., lol. It was once the "Tallest Home in America"---measuring from ground to roof, I'm sure they meant single-family home, 10-4? Anyway, check out this creative repurposing of a local landmark which was once slated to be torn down... pretty cool, yeah?   

Huntington Beach Water Tower Home 

I like that topmost floor, but if I owned the place, I'd have my pool table in the center of the room, lol. What a cool place to hang out, par-tay and shoot some stick, with views of the beach and Catalina!!! Beats lookin' at some friggin' ghetto, that's for damned sure, lol. And I was wrong about needing a telescope to check the surf, look how CLOSE the tower is to the beach!!! Cheers!!!  

 

[August Campbell]

I enjoyed reading your lengthy posts, Sidewinder.  Thanks for going into detail with your personal anecdotes.  In my case, the thought of living off the grid becomes more attractive by the day because of health concerns with the Covid pandemic.  The recent emergence of the Delta-variant has shown how viruses can change and mutate to become strains which are more resistant to any vaccine.  Even the vaccinated people are getting infected.  In other words, living off the grid would keep one safe from the Covid, due to the isolation.  What's ironic is we already see isolation from the social-distancing which has been mandated for the Covid.  As a result, isolation is experienced by everybody. So off-grid would just be a variation, although a stronger one, but whose basic isolation is already familiar to everyone due to the pandemic.  But my main thought is it giving the advantage of health-safety in the face of the pandemic.

 

[August Campbell]

After watching a video on a monk in China who isolates himself away in a remote forest, I got perplexed at a statement he made. In his spiritual enlightenment, he stated "There is NO difference between joy and pain."  Is that just another way of saying Stoicism?  Hard to figure out because his statement is contradictory.  Apparently, that kind of mental attitude can be understood only after one has meditated for many years.

 

[Sidewinder]

I'll keep this answer short: I'm not a big believer in the political virus, to me it's a ******** hoax perpetrated by political tools and their globalist masters to keep the population frightened and under control. I've YET to see a SINGLE CASE of this ******** virus, though the globalist-owned media squawk as if it's the end of the world. Good thing I don't watch the news anymore. If you wanna buy into that phony political virus, that's your choice... but don't go off-grid for THAT reason, go for the solace, being closer to nature, out of the rat race, etc., etc.    

When globalist scum & Billionaire Boys Club members like Billy 'Nanochip" Gates get into the viral & political game, it's a red flag for anyone who has a lick of common sense. Makes me wonder why they're pushing the vaxxer agenda so hard... got some crooked scheme rigged and they're working on it, and the harder they push the vaxxer agenda, the more folks like me will refuse to be part of their ******-up greedy criminal plot, the dirty swine. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the parade of "variants" will be endless, now that the dirty swine know the fake-ass virus works so well in controlling the masses. Scumbags like Fauci & the CDC are mere tools, getting paid on the sly for their participation in the ongoing hoax. In a perfect world, they'd all be shot or hung as traitors.   :club:

 

[August Campbell]

The person who goes off into seclusion for religious purposes is the religious recluse.  This reclusiveness is an advantage because the seclusion prevents distraction while meditating.  Nowadays, more and more, we see many in the Western-World participating in meditation retreats.  For those of you still Unfamiliar with meditation, you can try the Raisin exercise.  Place some raisins in your palm and let them sit until they begin to feel sticky.  Then take one in your fingers and examine it.  Notice that the raisin's skin glistens.  Looking closer, you can see a small indentation where it once hung from the vine.  Eventually, place it in your mouth and roll the wrinkly little shape over and over with your tongue, feeling its texture.  After a while, push it up against your teeth and slice it open.  Then, finally chew.  This is the mindfulness aspect of meditation where you get focused on the moment.  Especially important for most of us who do so much Multi-tasking that we lose touch with the present moment.  This is also where being Alone works advantageously in helping you to focus when you meditate.

 

[August Campbell]

Lately,I've been seeing on a different thread where some posters categorize themselves as Introverts and so prefer solitude.  So there seems to be an increasing number of you here who agree with me that lonely is good.  What's regrettable is that the majority see it as bad, regrettably putting it in a bad light.  Why not look at the positive side?

 

[Sidewinder]

There's nothing wrong with flying solo, especially if you're having a good time... the greatest solo night of my life occurred when I sailed my old Laser (#2069) out to Isla Norte and spent the night at the summit, waking after midnight to an insane meteor shower!!! It was spectacular, but on the flip side, I've had good times with beautiful women too... so there's a lot to be said for each type of experience. Of course, the shared nights were back when I still had my youthful charm, lol... that same charm fell off the back of a truck about a million miles ago.  

Meh, nobody can ever take away my memories, and that's all that really matters. Back when I was falsely charged in Kalifornia and had six months of my life ripped off for something that never even happened (the time spent in jail waiting for my hearings, all part of the jailhouse funding scam going on out there in Kalifornia), my 'meditation' took the form of reminiscing about all those island voyages I made as a younger man... those excellent memories enabled me to laugh at the corrupt system, since nobody could take those memories away from me.    

I heartily concur with you, August Campbell, too many people see 'being alone' as something negative, which is utterly ridiculous... for me, flying solo lets me get even closer to nature, and I notice things which I probably wouldn't notice if I were in the company of a member of the fairer sex, lol. Not to say that I haven't had good times with girlfriends in the field... but there's a time and a place for everything, aye? I think of it as 'striking a balance'---if I can't be with some gal for whatever reason, why NOT go sailing or dirt  biking and have a blast, yeah?    

When I was a younger man, I'd go on long solo hikes in the wilderness, just to get the **** away from 'civilization' as we know it, lol. I know Finished is the same way, unafraid to take long hikes and get closer to nature... I don't do as much hiking now as I did earlier in life, but again, I still have all those excellent memories of primo adventures! I never thought of it as 'being alone' or 'being lonely'---I thought of it as 'getting closer to nature' or 'learning more about myself and what I'm capable of doing in the REAL WORLD.' Straight the **** up, yeah???    

Well, enough reminiscing for now, it's almost time for me to go read a good book until I fall asleep... I'm just gonna take it easy tonight, no heavy partying even though there's alcohol in the fridge, lol. Sometimes I take a break and nurture the 'temple of my soul.' Dunno if you ever read my 'ISLA NORTE' story, I know I posted it elsewhere at this site but I'll throw it down again in this thread, as proof that being alone or flying solo doesn't have to be a negative experience... quite the opposite, in fact. Lemme find that link, I have it jotted down nearby...   :shy: 

Isla Norte  

Badass voyage, that first trip to Isla Norte... had the whole island to myself, yet I was surrounded by thousands of living creatures! Sea birds, seals & sea lions, heaps of the critters keeping me company so I never really felt alone, aye? Didn't see a single other person for at least 24 hours, which was nice, lol. Every time I made one of those island voyages, I'd return to the mainland SO refreshed... my soul in a relaxed state as I headed back toward the Big City, lol. It was ******* PARADISE out there, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to explore those islands, which are also designated wildlife sanctuaries.  

One last thing before I sign off for the night: I sailed the length of the Salton Sea on a solo voyage, and that was also a badass adventure... but the lakeshore was lined with foul-smelling muck & knee-deep shoals of rotting fishbones, the stench enough to gag a maggot UNTIL ya sailed far enough from shore. No way would any woman in her right mind WANT to deal with that sort of situation, so flying solo was an easy choice to make, lol. I sailed a 12' Minifish 30nm during that voyage, surrounded by INSANE desert & mountain scenery the whole way. It was ******* AWESOME!!!    

P.S. I'll find the link to Salton photos manana, I gotta dig a little deeper for that one, lol... but they're worth seeing, that's for sure. Well, it's 'BEDTIME FOR BONZO' here at the ol' hacienda, I'm off to get horizontal and eventually catch some sleep, lol. Cheers!!!  

 

[Sidewinder]

Here's a link to photos of Salton Expedition II... in Salton Expedition I, a friend & I sailed the breadth of the Salton Sea, but in Salton Expedition II, I decided to solo sail the length of the lake. In terms of geology and physical geography, it IS a lake, the 'Sea' is a misnomer. Meh, small potatoes... scroll down to Post #14 on the first page of this thread, and you'll see some cool shots the like of which you won't see ANYWHERE ELSE on the web, lol. No lie, you can search till the cows come home, but ya won't find sailing shots like these... I even took a few pics of my primo bivouac site in Painted Canyon near Mecca, CA, that site cost me $0 and put me within a few short miles of my launch site the following morning. Enjoy the photos!!! Cheers!!! 

Three Amigos Thread

 

[August Campbell]

The raisin exercise I described previously was meant to explain about the meditational principle of mindfulness.  It reminds us how hard it has become to think about just one thing at a time.  Technology has made it easier than ever to fracture attention into smaller and smaller bits.  We pay the bills while watching tv; we read news on our smartphone while talking to a friend.  In a time when no one seems to have enough time, our devices allow us to be many places at once---but at the cost of being unable to fully inhabit the place where we actually want to be.  Now you see why aloneness in solitude is helpful for mindfulness.

 

[Finished]

^ That's true. And being alone allows one to go at their own speed. There's no need to speed up or slow down to match others. Whatever speed one goes at is perfect and stress free.

 

[August Campbell]

^ That's true. And being alone allows one to go at their own speed. There's no need to speed up or slow down to match others. Whatever speed one goes at is perfect and stress free.

Thanks, Brother Fin.  Yes, what you stated is all the more reason that lonely is good.

 

[August Campbell]

In solitude is how you can best practice the Mindfulness of Meditation. So much stress is built up from the Multi-tasking which so many people engage in nowadays. That is, we answer a colleague's questions from the stands at a child's soccer game; we pay the bills while watching TV; we read news on our smartphone while talking to a friend-- all at the cost of being unable to fully inhabit the place where we actually want to be.

 

[user 139760]

Not everyone is a Bhuddist monks, with their rigorous training and discipline. Lonely can be good...for a time.
I've been alone for 14 years. Probably lonely these last 2.
Probably painfuly so these last few months. It eventually becomes that. Painful. After a while, variable for some people, it can probably become painful enough to drive someone insane.
I don't think human beings were designed to survive long without...pairings.

 

[August Campbell]

From the advantage of aloneness and meditation, even public school teachers are turning to mindfulness with increasing frequency---which I believe is a good thing, considering how digital technology is splitting kids' attention spans too. (The average American teen sends and receives more than 3,000 text messages a month.) A Bay Area-based program called Mindful Schools offers online mindfulness training to teachers, instructing them in how to equip children to concentrate in classrooms and deal with stress.

 

[Azariah]

From the advantage of aloneness and meditation, even public school teachers are turning to mindfulness with increasing frequency---which I believe is a good thing, considering how digital technology is splitting kids' attention spans too. (The average American teen sends and receives more than 3,000 text messages a month.) A Bay Area-based program called Mindful Schools offers online mindfulness training to teachers, instructing them in how to equip children to concentrate in classrooms and deal with stress.

See that, the world IS getting better.

 

[August Campbell]

After seeing in another thread, the post from a suicidal male, it even further cements my belief in solitude. That other male is suicidal just because he cannot get a girlfriend. That's what craving is. Difference between want and craving. While it's alright to want something, but when it becomes to craving, then it becomes mental anguish. Agonizing. What's monumentally ironic is that he desperately craves for a girlfriend whereas I myself was not looking for any at all but I got one Unintentionally. Even though I was not looking for a gf at all, I still went with the flow because I had a lot of fun with her. But as much fun as it was, it still remained celibate, because I don't have any arousal in that vein. It left my girlfriend sorely disappointed, to the point where we eventually split up. Maybe I'm an Asexual because I don't have any arousal in that vein.
The way I see it, though, being Asexual is actually a tremendous blessing to me because I practice a form of Buddhist monasticism whose aim is to reduce emotions as much as possible. Seen in that light, sex would be too Overstimulating. I found that too much stimulation can lead to craving and frustration. So being Asexual is a tremendous blessing. The awful damage of Overstimulation also applies to video-games so I stay away from those too.
The Buddhist lesson is about Overstimulation in general so the idea is to eliminate emotion as much as possible. Seen in that light, being Asexual is a distinct advantage.