I'm a 17 year old guy who is obviously lonely. Goingto give a little background/tell my story etc.
I started going downhill after a few months into highschool. I was one of the really popular kids. I was 15, on as many sports teams as I could be, star of soccer/basketball, a lot of girls liked me, went to all the parties; even the grade 12 ones in grade 9. I had a lot of friends, was in the circle hanging out with the prettiest girls, hooking up etc. Girls told me they liked me, I was too insecure/awkward to do anything about it so I led a few of them on. Then the girl I really liked (prettiest, sweetest girl) told me she loved me, i just stood there no idea what to say, she left, got an older boyfriend. That started a bit of depression. Then a few months in myself and my best friend at the time started trying weed, smoked whenever we were together or at parties.He had a bad experience a while later and stopped, but I found other people to go smoke with.
Myself and my best friend fell out in sophomore year and I started hanging out with the "stoner group", fell out of the popular circle, didn't really care. I lost a lot of motivation, started doing badly in school when before I had straight A's. I stopped going to school, and became isolated because I didn't really care enough to do the facebook crap. Kept not going to school, still went to all the parties, but I really wasn't happy. I skipped enough to get kicked out of the school.
In the summer I went overseas to Europe with the few good friends I had left on a student group trip. Had an amazing time even though I started developing panic attacks, (no idea what they were at the time), whenever we went out drinking (which was every night). I was hooking up with girls on the trip and I was a bit happier, even through the panic attacks. Made friends, but lost contact with all of them.
New year, started at a new school, knew nobody. Didnt talk to anyone, was a very cliquey school, way bigger than the one I was at before. Few people were nice to me but made no friends. Didnt really matter to me. Started skipping at that school again, just sat home and played videogames by myself. Had frequent panic attacks, was depressed and lonely. Just sat in bed and didn't go to school for about 8 months, which was the worst time of my life, contemplated suicide.
Present day, Im still as lonely as ever, back in some private school doing private 1on1 classes to ensure getting into university, so I talk to nobody, don't eat lunch there, so no chance to interact with anyone. Old friends text me sometimes, asking what the hell happened to me and if Im alright because I pretty much disappeared.I never reply. Lost my computer because my parents thought I was playing video games too much, even though I was just talking to some of the people I met on there, because I was lonely.So now I just sit at school with a teacher, sit at home and watch movie/browse on my phone or at physiotherapy from sitting in my bed so long after being athletic which messed up my body. I know I could go out, meet people/have fun but right now Im too depressed/stuck in my room/awkward/can't be bothered.
So that's my long story, just joined to tell it to people I don't know to get it off my chest, and this seemed like a good place. Dont expect you to read it, if you did, great.
Leave me a reply with anything, means a lot.
Peace
I started going downhill after a few months into highschool. I was one of the really popular kids. I was 15, on as many sports teams as I could be, star of soccer/basketball, a lot of girls liked me, went to all the parties; even the grade 12 ones in grade 9. I had a lot of friends, was in the circle hanging out with the prettiest girls, hooking up etc. Girls told me they liked me, I was too insecure/awkward to do anything about it so I led a few of them on. Then the girl I really liked (prettiest, sweetest girl) told me she loved me, i just stood there no idea what to say, she left, got an older boyfriend. That started a bit of depression. Then a few months in myself and my best friend at the time started trying weed, smoked whenever we were together or at parties.He had a bad experience a while later and stopped, but I found other people to go smoke with.
Myself and my best friend fell out in sophomore year and I started hanging out with the "stoner group", fell out of the popular circle, didn't really care. I lost a lot of motivation, started doing badly in school when before I had straight A's. I stopped going to school, and became isolated because I didn't really care enough to do the facebook crap. Kept not going to school, still went to all the parties, but I really wasn't happy. I skipped enough to get kicked out of the school.
In the summer I went overseas to Europe with the few good friends I had left on a student group trip. Had an amazing time even though I started developing panic attacks, (no idea what they were at the time), whenever we went out drinking (which was every night). I was hooking up with girls on the trip and I was a bit happier, even through the panic attacks. Made friends, but lost contact with all of them.
New year, started at a new school, knew nobody. Didnt talk to anyone, was a very cliquey school, way bigger than the one I was at before. Few people were nice to me but made no friends. Didnt really matter to me. Started skipping at that school again, just sat home and played videogames by myself. Had frequent panic attacks, was depressed and lonely. Just sat in bed and didn't go to school for about 8 months, which was the worst time of my life, contemplated suicide.
Present day, Im still as lonely as ever, back in some private school doing private 1on1 classes to ensure getting into university, so I talk to nobody, don't eat lunch there, so no chance to interact with anyone. Old friends text me sometimes, asking what the hell happened to me and if Im alright because I pretty much disappeared.I never reply. Lost my computer because my parents thought I was playing video games too much, even though I was just talking to some of the people I met on there, because I was lonely.So now I just sit at school with a teacher, sit at home and watch movie/browse on my phone or at physiotherapy from sitting in my bed so long after being athletic which messed up my body. I know I could go out, meet people/have fun but right now Im too depressed/stuck in my room/awkward/can't be bothered.
So that's my long story, just joined to tell it to people I don't know to get it off my chest, and this seemed like a good place. Dont expect you to read it, if you did, great.
Leave me a reply with anything, means a lot.
Peace
