Looks theory

[mgill]

a fascinating, indepth examination based on peer reviewed research.  i am not at all surprised at the conclusions but many people here will very likely be triggered by them.

[youtube]-Fssrks8FFM[/youtube]



not sure why this did not work above?

 

[Abstamyous]

a fascinating, indepth examination based on peer reviewed research.  i am not at all surprised at the conclusions but many people here will very likely be triggered by them.

[yutube]Fssrks8FFM/yutube]

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not sure why this did not work above?

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You almost had it. Just forgot the o in youtube and the [ on the second part.

 

[mgill]

a fascinating, indepth examination based on peer reviewed research.  i am not at all surprised at the conclusions but many people here will very likely be triggered by them.

[yutube]Fssrks8FFM/yutube]

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not sure why this did not work above?

---

You almost had it. Just forgot the o in youtube and the [ on the second part.

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thanks-i copied & pasted it so let me try again

 

[Abstamyous]

The / goes behind the [

 

[mgill]

The / goes behind the [

works now, thanks.  never though i would have to start coding to post on a messageboard, lol.

 

[user 115627]

It's funny...I actually chatted with the author of that video back then. Was a very interesting character.

 

[mgill]

It's funny...I actually chatted with the author of that video back then. Was a very interesting character.

you mean Wojak?  that's pretty cool.  he really knows his stuff for being a layperson.

 

[ardour]

It's obvious that assortive mating would only happen above a certain threshold anyway. Very unattractive people are going to have a hard time finding their looksmatch appealing.

 

[xephier102]

It's obvious that assortive mating would only happen above a certain threshold anyway. Very unattractive people are going to have a hard time finding their looksmatch appealing.

Screwed up thing is, that the unattractive people are always the ones expected to lower their standards.. imho it's akin to a form of widely accepted racism. I was born this way, so why should I be treated differently or have to lower my expectations because of it..

 

[TheRealCallie]

Screwed up thing is, that the unattractive people are always the ones expected to lower their standards.. imho it's akin to a form of widely accepted racism. I was born this way, so why should I be treated differently or have to lower my expectations because of it..

No one should be expected to lower their standards. I don't care what you look like, how much money you make, what your gender/race is or anything else.
That said, depending on your standards, you are going to have to come to terms with the reality that you may struggle to get what you want. Again, that's dependent on many many things, not just looks or money. Like if you want to date younger, the younger crowd may not want to date older. You may want super hot, but super hot sometimes means shallow and egotistical. Things like that.
Aside from that, "standards" are somewhat superficial/subjective. Yes, I get it, everyone has standards, but how do you know that's what you need? How do you know that's what is right for you, that that type of person is your "soulmate"?
I'm not saying lower your standards, I'm just saying you never know....it doesn't hurt to give other people a chance. Worse case scenario, maybe you get a friend.

 

[xephier102]

You may want super hot, but super hot sometimes means shallow and egotistical. Things like that.

Much as I hate to say it, female (and not in the same looks range as Jaba the hutt) typically means shallow. The fact is, women above a two on the looks scale will typically never have issues getting a man unless they're not trying, or crazy to the extent that they either scare off every decent guy they meet, or lead guys on for months then ditch them right after sending them an email stating how much they love and care for them, and how he'll be in her life forever. >,<

And no, I don't call anyone a soulmate based on looks. Looks has nothing to do with that word. But I don't think it's likely I'll be using that word in a personal context again in my life..

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

works now, thanks. never thought i would have to start coding to post on a messageboard, lol.

That is not coding. lol

 

[TheRealCallie]

Much as I hate to say it, female (and not in the same looks range as Jaba the hutt) typically means shallow. The fact is, women above a two on the looks scale will typically never have issues getting a man unless they're not trying, or crazy to the extent that they either scare off every decent guy they meet, or lead guys on for months then ditch them right after sending them an email stating how much they love and care for them, and how he'll be in her life forever. >,<

And no, I don't call anyone a soulmate based on looks. Looks has nothing to do with that word. But I don't think it's likely I'll be using that word in a personal context again in my life..

I'm sorry, but unless your are female, you have no idea what females go through.

 

[xephier102]

I'm sorry, but unless your are female, you have no idea what females go through.

Yep, but same can be said to women about men, yet many of them seem quite vocal about thinking that men have it all. "Male privilege' yet when it comes to relationships, females are typically the ones with all the privilege. Not all females mind you, I'm not ignorant, I mean, the ones on the very bottom of the looks scale, or with extreme weight issues may have difficulties, though even for the heavy ones, there's 'chubby chasers', as well as that whole 'body positivity' movement (which oddly seems to only highlight women, despite that men have the equivalent ability to get fat).

But yea, both sides do have their issues, but the difference is, female issues are not nearly completely ignored in society.
Anyways, don't take my word for it, this rather enlightened woman says it quite well, and sees both sides of the argument.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yep, but same can be said to women about men, yet many of them seem quite vocal about thinking that men have it all. "Male privilege' yet when it comes to relationships, females are typically the ones with all the privilege. Not all females mind you, I'm not ignorant, I mean, the ones on the very bottom of the looks scale, or with extreme weight issues may have difficulties, though even for the heavy ones, there's 'chubby chasers', as well as that whole 'body positivity' movement (which oddly seems to only highlight women, despite that men have the equivalent ability to get fat).

But yea, both sides do have their issues, but the difference is, female issues are not nearly completely ignored in society.
Anyways, don't take my word for it, this rather enlightened woman says it quite well, and sees both sides of the argument.

Females are also typically the ones who end up abused. They are also the ones that typically get used for sex. Or how about "trophy wives" or whatever else there is that isn't coming to mind because it's 5 am and I haven't had enough coffee yet. Like you said, not all females and there are certainly males that go through all that as well, but the majority is still females.

There are so many factors that come into play when someone is looking for a relationship. I really hate to break it to you, but "good looking" women (and men) can also struggle with finding one. It's not all about looks at all.

 

[xephier102]

Females are also typically the ones who end up abused. They are also the ones that typically get used for sex. Or how about "trophy wives" or whatever else there is that isn't coming to mind because it's 5 am and I haven't had enough coffee yet. Like you said, not all females and there are certainly males that go through all that as well, but the majority is still females.

There are so many factors that come into play when someone is looking for a relationship. I really hate to break it to you, but "good looking" women (and men) can also struggle with finding one. It's not all about looks at all.

Watch the video, then reply.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm not wasting 15 minutes of my life on that ********. I replied to YOU, not the damn video.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Watch the video, then reply.

Yes boss. So demanding... And you wonder why you are single and lonely? lmao

 

[kaetic]

Watch the video, then reply.

I actually watched the video already, out of curiosity... and the lady is an excellent speaker. She makes some very valid points. When you see each other as the enemy you tend to ignore the other and let your preconceptions guide you. No one listens anymore, and everyone is way too happy to get offended.

I agree that there are a lot of important men's issues that are largely ignored.

One thing I didn't understand but I let go until your last reply... where you demanded people have to watch the video before they can reply. What exactly does it have to do with "looks and dating"? She doesn't talk about dating at all. She mentions some issues that could arise (falsely accused, paternity fraud, etc). But not the issues themselves that men or women have with dating.

No where in the video does she talk about "women above a two on the looks scale will typically never have issues getting a man" or "I mean, the ones on the very bottom of the looks scale, or with extreme weight issues may have difficulties, though even for the heavy ones, there's 'chubby chasers' ". I'm not offended, just saying that Callie is mostly responding to actual statements... not her preconceptions.

But YOU seem to be driven by a personal experience.

" lead guys on for months then ditch them right after sending them an email stating how much they love and care for them, and how he'll be in her life forever. >,<"

I'm sorry that happened to you.

The body positivity movement does seem to target women more than men, and that's unfair. But, in the Ted Talk didn't she mention about how the media distorts things? Dehumanizes people? I feel like this particular issue is driven mostly by the media. I think you change it by being more vocal. Stand up for yourself. Maybe no one will listen, but it will feel better than just taking it.

 

[xephier102]

Yes boss. So demanding... And you wonder why you are single and lonely? lmao

Because she hit me with a typical 'men don't have problems' feminist reply. She clearly didn't watch the video. It just irritates me when people only take the politically popular, or bias route, and refuse to accept any information that opposes those views.

The lady in the video actually was one of those, but due to her job, she had to view all parties with an equal oversight, and was surprised with what she found.