marooned

[musicface]

Wow so here's me:  While I have a mental illness that means I do not work, the other side of things is worse.  I am a 36 yr old male.  The time that would have been better spent was instead in and out of facilities, and on medication that, let's say, made my prospects of keeping the fire in any relationship, inevitably damned, for I'd say over 12 years.
  Understandably this took a toll on me.  While, as I've heard it echoed here, I rather thought everyone else was nuts, and that may yet be true, golly...  The time not better spent also included perks like *whole family alienation*, which stood in the shadow of *all friends go away and/or don't care*
  I can go onto, say facebook, or any social media, and firstly nobody wants to hear me rant off the hook, so I'm barely followed, but I notice other people, every other person is doing great at game night, or with their peeps, the happy couple, the show, the drive in, the place, the this and the that.  And like, it's always validated as heck.
  Crickets and pindrops to do with me.
  Meanwhile I've played music for 22 years, many counted above.  That, did stick with me, but what didn't was the music scene which has gone downhill most places, or knowing anyone in some rural scenic - zone.
  There is nowhere to meet anyone.  Chronically single is the new I'm not dead yet.  This is bs.
  Anyway it goes without saying I am lonely and almost never see anyone, at all.  If ever I have a conversation with anyone of the, well, remains of my friends, it is I who start the conversation, and that could be for months.  Or anythings.  I just stopped trying basically.
  I don't deserve it.  I'm kind, sweet, smart, talented, and whatever else I'd need be for, whatever.  Tough.
  My life to date called, it wants it's premise back.  Truly nothing was sacred along the way.  Now, what, nothing.  Smoldering ruins.
  It would be funny and dashing and all of reality if it were remotely possible I could relocate to anywhere that isn't a museum for my hourglass.
  Bah.  Thanks for observing my rant.  Peace y'all.  

 

[evanescencefan912]

Hey Musicface welcome to the forum. I'm also dealing with mental illness which has kept me out of work for a while, but I'm a little more stable so I'm thinking of trying to find work again in maybe a few months.
As for friends all of the friends I made have all live in another city or another state now so I barely ever get to see them, maybe like once or twice a year, and I've been single for over ten years now. So to quote the Police persay, seems your not alone in being alone. I don't know how much comfort for you that is.

What instrument(s) do you play? I kind of play the Guitar but I'm not very good at it. What kind of music do you like to play and/ or listen to?

Try to keep yourself busy, focus on your music, or try finding some hobbies, like walking or cycling, or other types of art. Distracting yourself can be a good way to not feel so alone.

I hope that helped somewhat

Peace

*hugs*

 

[musicface]

That is very nice of you. That must mean I am speaking English daily, jk

I play guitar mainly, then I hack piano sort of, and bass guitar is fun. Mostly guitar, some, shred psychedelic alternative jam thing. But really I try to be diverse in styles, to listen to or play.

I will try your suggestions. Walking at least, or something. And I think that's just it, being lonely is one thing, but when it's depression to the point where I'm not doing anything... maybe I could try doing things lol

I can't say there's comfort in hearing of your situation, but I guess somehow it is interesting that other people ... are out there. who are also lonely and it bites.

~

 

[Meaw]

Welcome, hang around a bit, I hope stuff'll be fine ^^

 

[musicface]

Golly, I haven't done much of anything.  This just sucks.

  I'm learning that I'm not a good friend, or conversationalist.  There's no point in involving anyone else in my drama.  Epic drama.

  I had higher hopes than this.  And there's no fixing how I feel.

  It's been, something, to post on this forum a tad.  Aloha