Masked Man

Ctzn_Soldier · Apr 2, 2011

Lately I have been feeling like the Masked Man, someone with two identities. By day I'm the work 'super hero' that exists to solve everyones problems. I take care of their needs and they happily toddle off to their little gray squares otherwise known as a cubicle. I am a computer programmer by trade and I suppose I appear unapproachable but I do have feelings and I want to belong. I would like to feel again, to be wanted and loved. It's time to go home, silent, empty, foreboding home. Force feed something down, take my only companion, for a walk. Flick a few mindless TV shows, maybe read a bit, take some Ambien and pass out just to wake and do it again. All of this weekly swirling and blending of days rises and reaches a crescendo otherwise known as the dreaded week-end which is just more torture. By Sunday night my stress levels are so high I can barely stand it. I actually sort of look forward to Monday so that I'll be with people again. How sick is this? I really don't expect anyone to reply, it's really hitting me today and I needed to get it out.

I'm Fine · Apr 2, 2011

*hugs*

Anytime you need to talk...

Poueff · Apr 2, 2011

Don't be stuck at home then

Go out clubbing,or even if you don't like that,go to the library (since you like books) or to the movies. Anything but stay in the thing that,like you said,tortures you.

SophiaGrace · Apr 2, 2011

I just wanted to let you know I read this. *hugs*

Ctzn_Soldier · Apr 2, 2011

SophiaGrace said:
I just wanted to let you know I read this. *hugs*

Thank you for the hug, feels nice.

Poueff said:
Don't be stuck at home then Go out clubbing,or even if you don't like that,go to the library (since you like books) or to the movies. Anything but stay in the thing that,like you said,tortures you.

You're right of course, ' a stone at rest tends to stay at rest', etc. I just need a quick kick in the butt I know but just can't seem to find the catalyst.

Thanks for the reply.