My crush </3

[yourstruly_arix]

I met my crush in trade school (2 months ago)

we have math class together, thats how it all started. he was helping me with my math, then working out started. We started to run together, then we started to go to the gym together, then my boyfriend left. My crush was there for me. Then thats when the long hugs started, the kisses on the forhead the hand holding. I started to like this guy, i love the way he smells, the way i can actually make eyecontact with him and not look away (AND I HATE EYE CONTACT) i love his smile, and his hands. We have kissed a few times here and there. His lips fit in place with mine just right, i love it! I swear i can melt right on the spot.

BUT HERE IS THE BIG PROBLEM!

He is an ex-man whore, he is a very rude person (an *******), he smokes ciggs, he likes to flirt with evryone, and so on.
But when he is with me he gets all mushy and cute. He tells me all these things, but i dont want to fall for it, cause i dont want to be a another girl, I HATE BEING ANOTHER GIRL. His dad admitted that he has never acted this way before, and he even told me that he will ask me out.

Im confused, but i really do like this guy, my ex boyfriend left to the Marine Corps and that was the end of that. I dont know what to expect but im very scared as well. I dont want to be hurt again, and i dont want to make him into a rebound.

and just to put it out there I am a virgo female, and he is a scorpio male.

 

[Shipster0958]

Firstly, I'd put no value or stock into your astrological signs, so now worries there.

My only piece of advice in this situation is the guy that you like will always be that person. There's no way you will ever change him. Sure, he will grow and evolve as a person, changing things like interests, activities, and (possibly) responsibilities with age, but his nature and characteristics will always be who he really is. And if he is an ******* and somewhat of a player, that will always be in his nature.

Don't sell yourself short. Those kind of relationships, in my experience, aren't worth it. If you feel strongly for him, and do want to give it a try, just share it with him and see his reaction. Stay gaurded and grounded though, and really evaluate what's important to you in a relationship.

You sound fairly young though, so you will have plenty of time. No rush

 

[Naleena]

Hmmm.....I had a guy I really liked about four months back. He would do all the things that I love. He would write me poetry, call me up and leave messages of him siinging and playing his guitar all the time. He was so romantic. You see , Yours Truly, people when they want something will be on their best behaviour. I started noticing how he would be degrading towards other people and I knew by that what he really was. I ended it only to see that nasty person come out at me. If that guy is an *******, he will be an ******* to you as soon as he gets what he wants. I always judge men by how they treat others. If they treat other people bad, they will treat you bad too.

 

[ghbarnaby2]

Hmmm.....I had a guy I really liked about four months back. He would do all the things that I love. He would write me poetry, call me up and leave messages of him siinging and playing his guitar all the time. He was so romantic. You see , Yours Truly, people when they want something will be on their best behaviour. I started noticing how he would be degrading towards other people and I knew by that what he really was. I ended it only to see that nasty person come out at me. If that guy is an *******, he will be an ******* to you as soon as he gets what he wants. I always judge men by how they treat others. If they treat other people bad, they will treat you bad too.

That! But I would change men to people. That goes for all relationships -working, acquaintance, friendship, lover, or what have you.

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Thats some good advice above me
all the posts above me

---

I will say this though, some guys change some guys don't and some do for a while but eventualy go back to their original nature, you know this guy better than any of us, we can only give advice from our own experiences, at the end of the day you have to decide where you want take ur relationship & as you mentioned you have just come thru a breakup so your feelings cant be trusted,with a guy who has a rep like his, you should tread carefuly, if ur feeling unsure id advise you to wait, if you feel like your feelings are certain then wait some more,and when you feel you have waiited enough, wait a little more before starting a relationship with him, a guy with a rep is more likely the type only interested in the physical aspects of a relationship rather than the personal. There does come a point that this type of guy will reach, where he finaly feels he wants more than that of past relationships ur friend maybe at that point now, and if he is, he will truly be willing to wait

 

[VanillaCreme]

I do mean people in general, but I'll just say "guys" because that's what we're talking about here.

Some guys can change. Some guys, of course, never do. And some will always treat a special person (female) in their life in a different way than he would treat anyone else. He'll be sweet to you, thoughtful of you, and considerate about you. Not saying this dude will definitely be that way, but it does happen.

However, what stands out to me the most in that post is:

He is an ex-man whore, he is a very rude person (an *******), he smokes ciggs, he likes to flirt with evryone, and so on.

And it's not even so much as what's being said here. It's the point of it. Although I do agree with this as being a problem, don't get me wrong, these things would be an issue for me too. But, you can't pick and choose what you want in a person. You take the good with the bad, you know? And if it ends up being a terrible things (not saying it will be terrible), then you can at least know you took that dive and experienced it, and - hopefully - learn from it.

 

[Broken Hearted]

I very much had the same situation, now the man who had claimed he changed and loved me so much he couldn't live without me.... bla bla bla...... back to his same old player, lying person he was before. It was completely who he was and always will be. I do believe people change but in my situation I think he is worse now

 

[perfanoff]

I met my crush in trade school (2 months ago)

we have math class together, thats how it all started. he was helping me with my math, then working out started. We started to run together, then we started to go to the gym together, then my boyfriend left. My crush was there for me. Then thats when the long hugs started, the kisses on the forhead the hand holding. I started to like this guy, i love the way he smells, the way i can actually make eyecontact with him and not look away (AND I HATE EYE CONTACT) i love his smile, and his hands. We have kissed a few times here and there. His lips fit in place with mine just right, i love it! I swear i can melt right on the spot.

BUT HERE IS THE BIG PROBLEM!

He is an ex-man whore, he is a very rude person (an *******), he smokes ciggs, he likes to flirt with evryone, and so on.
But when he is with me he gets all mushy and cute. He tells me all these things, but i dont want to fall for it, cause i dont want to be a another girl, I HATE BEING ANOTHER GIRL. His dad admitted that he has never acted this way before, and he even told me that he will ask me out.

Im confused, but i really do like this guy, my ex boyfriend left to the Marine Corps and that was the end of that. I dont know what to expect but im very scared as well. I dont want to be hurt again, and i dont want to make him into a rebound.

and just to put it out there I am a virgo female, and he is a scorpio male.

Thanks for making me laugh really loud in the morning

 

[VanillaCreme]

How was that post or this thread funny, Perfanoff? If it was a joke, I missed that boat.

 

[perfanoff]

The situation itself is a joke, it's black humor, leave it at that.

 

[yourstruly_arix]

The situation itself is a joke, it's black humor, leave it at that.

rude much...

 

[Punisher]

He is an ex-man whore, he is a very rude person (an *******), he smokes ciggs, he likes to flirt with evryone, and so on.
But when he is with me he gets all mushy and cute. He tells me all these things, but i dont want to fall for it, cause i dont want to be a another girl, I HATE BEING ANOTHER GIRL.

Sounds like one of my brothers. Acts like a gentleman at the start, then he beats the **** out of them and controls them.

 

[yourstruly_arix]

He is an ex-man whore, he is a very rude person (an *******), he smokes ciggs, he likes to flirt with evryone, and so on.
But when he is with me he gets all mushy and cute. He tells me all these things, but i dont want to fall for it, cause i dont want to be a another girl, I HATE BEING ANOTHER GIRL.

Sounds like one of my brothers. Acts like a gentleman at the start, then he beats the **** out of them and controls them.

ive been there not happening again.

 

[perfanoff]

The situation itself is a joke, it's black humor, leave it at that.

rude much...

When I feel cynical, I tend to be rude.
And if this thing wasn't endemic to humanity but an isolated case, there would be no reason to be cynical.

Maybe you wouldn't understand.

 

[VanillaCreme]

The situation itself is a joke, it's black humor, leave it at that.

rude much...

When I feel cynical, I tend to be rude.
And if this thing wasn't endemic to humanity but an isolated case, there would be no reason to be cynical.

Maybe you wouldn't understand.

When you feel the need to be cynical, especially against a touchy or emotional situation, keep your comments to yourself. It wasn't necessary.

Also, Arix, I apologize. Some people don't have common decency towards anyone. Best of luck with your situation.

 

[perfanoff]

If she saw it the way I saw it she would be able to save herself a lot of hurt later on.

And that would be nothing compared to the hurt she would get by someone making a rude remark to her in a random forum.

People showing me my ridiculous feelings for someone has helped me personally in times of need at least once.

 

[VanillaCreme]

That's not up to you, Perfanoff, to decide if it's ridiculous. When it becomes your relationship, then worry about it. Have a little tact about it, even if you do think it's senseless.

 

[yourstruly_arix]

thanks anyways everyone.