Batman55 said:
I know what you're saying and agree with most of it. However my list of things I can do better than others is a short list.. shorter than most. I mean there's a couple things on it.. but not much of any practical use to anyone. Additionally I certainly am not much of a people person, not very empathetic, often don't relate to people... But it's just me, that tends to be the way I operate--there is not much I can change.
What would you say in this case? I'm predicting the only thing you can say is to change my personality and act as if I care, when I really don't--which runs contrary to your core concept...
Sorry for late response.
I felt similar way as you many years. I'm not worth of any friendship, nobody loves me as I have nothing to offer. I can't play guitar. I can't play basketball.
I can't dance!
You mentioned your list of thinks you can do better than others is short.
It's great!!!
Consider the most successful people are "better than others" just in
one particular think.
The problem of many people that are really good in something is that they have doubts about themselves.
I don't know what's your list of thinks you are better than others.
May be you are superhero in some obscure online game. Then it's difficult to attract woman.
May be you are good student with all exams with As. Still more difficult to impress woman than school best football player. But not impossible. There is bunch of girls keen in literature, math, physics,...
May be you are pretty good in any other areas but you are comparing yourself with some woman idol.
I remember I wanted to play guitar because our class guitar players was always surrounded by girls.
And do you know?
Our class best guitar player was the first divorced one from our class
(Fortunately he is already happy many years in second marriage.)
One way is to ask your mom what she love on you.
May be she will tell you something you are ignoring yourself because you consider it as unimportant. But you have at least one person in your life who takes this part of your personality
as important. (Yes, I know. What your mom loves about you is not always you can use to impress women.)
Ask you friends. Teachers. Colleagues.
Remember movie "Wanted (2008)"? Wesley was considered by everybody as total looser.
By colleagues, girl-friend. Even by himself.
OK, movie is not high-quality but there is a hidden message.
Everybody has some ability helpful to others. Just to use it. Most difficult is to find this ability.
If people are asking you sometimes for help - bingooo. This could be this ability.
(If it's not always just "help me to move furniture to my new flat".)
Anyway. if you feel there is really-really nothing to be valuable by others try one trick.
Start to smile to people. Short smile to clerk. Smile to old woman when you keep doors open for her.
Believe me, since I use "Have a nice evening" instead of usual "Bye" in shops I made a lot of smiles on faces of tired clerks.
With smile and warmth you will distinguish yourself from the crowd.
(I know that smiling to unknown people could be hard. I can try to write about it later.)
