My gf is gone...HELP!

[smitty]

I still have a tiny amount of hope but most of my friends think she used me and my one friend thinks I was a rebound (she was married for about 3 years, divorced for 2 months when we met). I still love her despite everything that's happened in the past few weeks.

by the way, thank all of you. as you can see I've been a member of this place since 2007 and have received support and advice at the lowest points in my life. I'm incredibly appreciative that a place like this exists on the internet.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Stay strong smitty. A lot of people are chiming in similar comments, on here and in your real life, it's up to you to decide what to do next.

 

[smitty]

she might be moving across the country soon...she wants me to sublet her apartment so she can??

I haven't responded to her question if I would want to or not, but wow my heart keeps sinking while I hold out what little hope I have for reconciliation. I really do love her so this sucks

 

[VanillaCreme]

picking up the pieces is the worst part of all of this. I did everything I could to make sure she'd be alright in her move and forgot about my own self in the process

It's usually always the worst part, for anyone. But we survive.

she might be moving across the country soon...she wants me to sublet her apartment so she can??

I haven't responded to her question if I would want to or not, but wow my heart keeps sinking while I hold out what little hope I have for reconciliation. I really do love her so this sucks

I'd suggest you tell her to handle her own business. She wants to move here and there, and live her life without you, yet still has the audacity to ask you for favors? I'd tell her to shove it. Sublet her own apartment. She's not a baby. She can do something for herself. You can do it if you want, but don't do it thinking that she'll come back to you if you do something for her again. She probably won't.

 

[smitty]

my feelings still haven't faded. I still want her back as much as I first did. I've tried everything, even seeing other women. Not sure how to get her back other than giving her space and improving myself

 

[ladyforsaken]

my feelings still haven't faded. I still want her back as much as I first did. I've tried everything, even seeing other women. Not sure how to get her back other than giving her space and improving myself

Your situation reminds me so much of our dear SkaFish on here. I don't know what more to say that people here haven't already said. But I'm sorry that you're going through this, really.

 

[wolvesjr]

Sorry you're going through this Smitty. I've been where you are and unfortunately there's no magic pill to fix things. One thing I will say is if you are going to improve yourself do it for you, not because you think it will get her back.

 

[smitty]

update: we haven't really been talking much, but I accidentally followed / unfollowed her new bf on Twitter and he instantly told her. I explained it was a mistake (it was, honestly) and she seemed okay w that.

She listened to a playlist I sent her when we had stopped talking and then started messaging me. She followed that up by saying she was in a bind and needed money, if I could pay her back for the time she had my car towed. I obliged (and gave her way more than I owed) b/c she's alone in NYC (her new bf is still across the country). I feel like this will leave her with a positive impression of me??

She was messaging me but I haven't responded since I sent her all that money. She's going to be visiting her new bf in a few days and has talked about moving in w him. idk what to do except not talk to her and not be available

 

[Ymir]

update: we haven't really been talking much, but I accidentally followed / unfollowed her new bf on Twitter and he instantly told her. I explained it was a mistake (it was, honestly) and she seemed okay w that.

She listened to a playlist I sent her when we had stopped talking and then started messaging me. She followed that up by saying she was in a bind and needed money, if I could pay her back for the time she had my car towed. I obliged (and gave her way more than I owed) b/c she's alone in NYC (her new bf is still across the country). I feel like this will leave her with a positive impression of me??

She was messaging me but I haven't responded since I sent her all that money. She's going to be visiting her new bf in a few days and has talked about moving in w him. idk what to do except not talk to her and not be available

By the looks of it, she'll never have a positive impression of you no matter how much money you give her. You really need to cut contact with her and stop giving her money! That's all, basically. It doesn't look like she'll ever come back to you, now that she doesn't even have to be dating you to get what she wants from you.

Harsh, but... Really. It's over, and even though you care about her, you are just being taken advantage of. This has to stop.

 

[ardour]

update: we haven't really been talking much, but I accidentally followed / unfollowed her new bf on Twitter and he instantly told her. I explained it was a mistake (it was, honestly) and she seemed okay w that.

She listened to a playlist I sent her when we had stopped talking and then started messaging me. She followed that up by saying she was in a bind and needed money, if I could pay her back for the time she had my car towed. I obliged (and gave her way more than I owed) b/c she's alone in NYC (her new bf is still across the country). I feel like this will leave her with a positive impression of me??

She was messaging me but I haven't responded since I sent her all that money. She's going to be visiting her new bf in a few days and has talked about moving in w him. idk what to do except not talk to her and not be available

Smitty...is there some sort of mental block going on with you, so that you continue doing the same things while ignoring any advice here. Why bother asking?

She's probably having a chuckle at your expense with her boyfriend. The more time and money you give this girl the worse the impression, because she's using you and you're letting her. Why you would care what impression you leave with someone like that is a question you might want to ask yourself.

 

[TheRealCallie]

She followed that up by saying she was in a bind and needed money, if I could pay her back for the time she had my car towed. I obliged (and gave her way more than I owed) b/c she's alone in NYC (her new bf is still across the country). I feel like this will leave her with a positive impression of me??

So, the guy she basically left you for, because could no longer pay for everything, who is RICH, could not provide her with money? She, naturally, had to go to you, because she knew you wouldn't say no to her.
Honey, she is controlling you and using you. She is stringing you along, so she has a backup plan, in case rich guy wises up to her ways. I hope you realize that soon, before your situation gets much worse. SHE made the decision to move to NYC all by herself. She made her bed, she needs to lie in it. Please don't give her any more money. You owe her nothing.

 

[WildernessWildChild]

Probably to late with this but.....

 

[VanillaCreme]

If you keep letting someone use you, that's on you. You can't complain about her anymore. You refuse to change the situation. You're allowing it to happen. Asking for advice won't budge your standing on this, and I think you know this. I don't know what you were looking for in making this thread, but it wasn't to help you move on from this woman.