mydarwinlife
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- Nov 26, 2013
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I need help!!
My life is terrible. Nobody understands me. My parents are divorced, and my dad re-married, and my best friend moved away. Aside from that, my life is just like that of most any other teenager. Except that I always feel empty. I can't even describe the feeling, I just don't feel adequate. Everyone says I'm smart, and I'm a hard worker, and I could go far in life, but it sure doesn't feel that way. My best friend always tries to make me feel better, but it only helps for a few minutes. I convinced my dad to take me in to see the doctor because I always feel depressed, and after a few visits with a psychiatrist, the doctors diagnosed me with pretty bad depression, and strongly suggested that I be put on medication. However, my dad is completely against medication because he says that the cons of medication outweigh the pros. So in my spare time I looked up what all the possible cons were, and I already feel the effect of almost all of them, even though I don't use any kind of medication or drug or anything. Then when I talk to my dad to try to get him to take me down to the doctor to at least try and get me re-diagnosed, he refuses. I've talked with him a bit, but from what he's said, it seems like all he wants is for me to live life the way he lived it, and just 'push through the hard times'. My mom has tried to help, but she doesn't understand me either. My dad won't even listen to any of her suggestions for what to do about how I feel. And then I've talked to my best friend and she's made some suggestions, but when I bring them up, my dad tells me that nobody should be replacing a dad in my life. All that's doing for me is making me want to be closer to my best friend, who my dad's saying is replacing him in my life, and making me feel farther away from my dad. I feel so alone in life. I just wish I felt like there was someone there for me. My family says that they love me, and my best friend says she loves me, but I don't feel any love from them. In fact, most of the time I don't really feel anything. Pain isn't even a problem for me anymore because it's toned down so much. My friend who's a football player punched me really hard once, and it didn't hurt at all, even though he's almost twice my height and more than five times as strong as I am. I even have good friends who invite me to hang out and stuff, but I don't feel loved by anyone; I feel so alone in this world. I also have no motivation to do anything, even things that I used to love. Talking to people never helps because nobody wants to talk about it, they don't care, or just plain don't understand.
Is there anything that can be done to help me? I don't want to kill myself yet if there's still something left that can be done to help me, but with every passing hour I feel less and less connected to anyone. I also don't understand why people are always saying not to kill yourself. I mean, it just doesn't feel like anything's going to get better; it's only getting worse and worse as time goes by. I haven't been directly told not to kill myself by anyone but my best friend, because she's the only person who I've told I want to, but everyone is always saying that life is good, and that the good times are worth the bad, and all that stuff.
Please, if there's someone out there who can help, tell me what can be done to make my life better.
My life is terrible. Nobody understands me. My parents are divorced, and my dad re-married, and my best friend moved away. Aside from that, my life is just like that of most any other teenager. Except that I always feel empty. I can't even describe the feeling, I just don't feel adequate. Everyone says I'm smart, and I'm a hard worker, and I could go far in life, but it sure doesn't feel that way. My best friend always tries to make me feel better, but it only helps for a few minutes. I convinced my dad to take me in to see the doctor because I always feel depressed, and after a few visits with a psychiatrist, the doctors diagnosed me with pretty bad depression, and strongly suggested that I be put on medication. However, my dad is completely against medication because he says that the cons of medication outweigh the pros. So in my spare time I looked up what all the possible cons were, and I already feel the effect of almost all of them, even though I don't use any kind of medication or drug or anything. Then when I talk to my dad to try to get him to take me down to the doctor to at least try and get me re-diagnosed, he refuses. I've talked with him a bit, but from what he's said, it seems like all he wants is for me to live life the way he lived it, and just 'push through the hard times'. My mom has tried to help, but she doesn't understand me either. My dad won't even listen to any of her suggestions for what to do about how I feel. And then I've talked to my best friend and she's made some suggestions, but when I bring them up, my dad tells me that nobody should be replacing a dad in my life. All that's doing for me is making me want to be closer to my best friend, who my dad's saying is replacing him in my life, and making me feel farther away from my dad. I feel so alone in life. I just wish I felt like there was someone there for me. My family says that they love me, and my best friend says she loves me, but I don't feel any love from them. In fact, most of the time I don't really feel anything. Pain isn't even a problem for me anymore because it's toned down so much. My friend who's a football player punched me really hard once, and it didn't hurt at all, even though he's almost twice my height and more than five times as strong as I am. I even have good friends who invite me to hang out and stuff, but I don't feel loved by anyone; I feel so alone in this world. I also have no motivation to do anything, even things that I used to love. Talking to people never helps because nobody wants to talk about it, they don't care, or just plain don't understand.
Is there anything that can be done to help me? I don't want to kill myself yet if there's still something left that can be done to help me, but with every passing hour I feel less and less connected to anyone. I also don't understand why people are always saying not to kill yourself. I mean, it just doesn't feel like anything's going to get better; it's only getting worse and worse as time goes by. I haven't been directly told not to kill myself by anyone but my best friend, because she's the only person who I've told I want to, but everyone is always saying that life is good, and that the good times are worth the bad, and all that stuff.
Please, if there's someone out there who can help, tell me what can be done to make my life better.