My situation

[ShakeJields]

Im a 19 year old berklee college of music student. I grew up in Kodiak Alaska, and I spent alot of time alone practicing drums, while my friends were out partying and getting laid. I haven't been in any sort of relationship since 8th grade, and I am still a virgin. I used to get picked on for being small, and having a receding hairline when I lived in alaska. Now, living in boston, going to berklee, people tell me all the time they are jealous of me.. but I dont know why, because I would trade it all just to fall in love, or ******* meet someone, girls wont even look at me it seems like. Im really not that ugly.. im 5'8 140lbs, and I can bench press 225, and squat 300, but I just dont have any confidence, and sometimes I go entire days with out saying a word to anyone... any thoughts?

 

[stella]

you'll be surprised at how many girls do look at you and actually hide what they are thinking. if i like someone i hide it and i'm so scared of making an ass of myself around him that i go extremely coy around him, which probably makes him think i don't like him.

as for staying in as a teenager and practising your drums, good on you, so many teenagers fall when their peers apply pressure on them to go out and get laid etc. the fact you stuck by your guns and did what was passionate to you shows you have a tremendous amount of inner strength, strength that others would be envious about.

as for being 19 and still a virgin, you are still so so young, dont fall for the peer pressure now that you have to get laid to be a real person, its rubbish, you are who you are, and be proud that you are not like the others around you. what makes you different makes you beautiful. remember that.

i used to have atrocious confidence, in school i would always be on my own, usually sitting in the corner on my own reading the works of camus, proust and marlowe. i would not say a word to anyone at all, even if the teacher asked me a question in class i would not answer and the class would make fun of me. that went on until i was 18!! it has only been in the last few years that i have found my ability to talk to people and express my own views, and i did that by forcing myself to socialise, alcohol helps, since in gives you confidence and you stop caring what other people think.

stay strong, find out who you are and what you want, don't be hard on yourself and see if you can muster up the strength to socialise with people.

 

[Frodo Baggins]

I think that knowing yourself and having confidence in yourself is key.
It is good being fit and strong and able to defend those weaker than you.
In somewhere I read there was characters who had to draw on deep reserves of strength and were forced to confront their demons (and in some cases actual demons) and it is the existence of self belief and confidence that supported them.
I think that confidence by itself is not much for a man. Physical aptitude by itself not much either.
A confident man with the physicality to look after himself and protect others and the confidence to determine the course and destiny of his life would be one people would be attracted to.

 

[ShakeJields]

thanks, ill just ad that I smoke weed chronically (every day, except when I dont have it) and that I usually make an ass of myself when I drink (drank two 40s last weekend and threw up all over the place)