What part of your parents lives on through you.

[user 191056]

This is my first thread, and the question is about what part of your mum, your dad, lives on through you, whether you like it or not and forms the very basis of your behaviour, your characteristics and maybe the better or worse in you.

For me, my father in me comes through in my mistrust in people, the third degree. I'm tough to impress, and that doesn't usually grant me easy friends; however I do find likeminded people and even then, I don't trust them. Ha ha. My father was in Vietnam, he was a forward scout and I had an extremely good sense of smell which i think was passed on hereditarily from his experience and survivability; but covid fuc$ed that up for me.
As for my mother, I have strong domestic abilities, I can cook, I wash regularly clothes and linen, can sew, and own a sewing machine. I would have made a good little bit$h, and I'm straight too. But my domestics are tip top, and from her I gained strong financial skills, like saving and living within my means.

I hope this comes across as a means to share the things our parents may have graced us with and, yes the things that may get us stuck.

 

[Unsigned]

What I got from them:

Mother - ability to cook well. That is all.
Father - work ethic, exercising regularly, importance of being financially sound and never being in debt.

But neither were good parents. They only cared that I got good grades. Didn't give a d@mn about anything else.
Other than learning the above by osmosis, my father never directly taught me anything. He was a good provider who felt that was his only job as far as his family was concerned. Couldn't care less that I was a skinny, picked on, bullied, and then later on dateless loser. Now, did I overtly ask for help? Of course not! I "took it like a man" and didn't complain, which is what was totally expected of me. But to be honest, a kid that doesn't really have any friends, never talks much, and stays in his room most of the time is SCREAMING for help, and any parent who doesn't act on it just flat out doesn't care.

And my mother? 50x worse. Whereas my father was pretty much useless from a personal standpoint, my mother was downright detrimental. It's real easy to be the kid in school who is picked on and bullied when your mother is badgering and bullying you and for the 5 years BEFORE you start school (and then way, way beyond). These days they call it "grooming". She resented the h311 out of my "alpha" father, and she did everything she could to ensure I'd be nothing like him. And even though it worked, it also backfired. While I didn't turn out like my father (a guy who went on vacations with his friends, played golf 4 times a week, and had mistresses), I certainly didn't turn out to be what my mother wanted me to be: A henpecked milquetoast who changes diapers and does the dishes while his wife takes a nap.
She was also great for name calling. Lovely person...not.

 

[okidoke]

I try not to think about it to be honest

 

[user 191056]

What I got from them:

Mother - ability to cook well. That is all.
Father - work ethic, exercising regularly, importance of being financially sound and never being in debt.

But neither were good parents. They only cared that I got good grades. Didn't give a d@mn about anything else.
Other than learning the above by osmosis, my father never directly taught me anything. He was a good provider who felt that was his only job as far as his family was concerned. Couldn't care less that I was a skinny, picked on, bullied, and then later on dateless loser. Now, did I overtly ask for help? Of course not! I "took it like a man" and didn't complain, which is what was totally expected of me. But to be honest, a kid that doesn't really have any friends, never talks much, and stays in his room most of the time is SCREAMING for help, and any parent who doesn't act on it just flat out doesn't care.

And my mother? 50x worse. Whereas my father was pretty much useless from a personal standpoint, my mother was downright detrimental. It's real easy to be the kid in school who is picked on and bullied when your mother is badgering and bullying you and for the 5 years BEFORE you start school (and then way, way beyond). These days they call it "grooming". She resented the h311 out of my "alpha" father, and she did everything she could to ensure I'd be nothing like him. And even though it worked, it also backfired. While I didn't turn out like my father (a guy who went on vacations with his friends, played golf 4 times a week, and had mistresses), I certainly didn't turn out to be what my mother wanted me to be: A henpecked milquetoast who changes diapers and does the dishes while his wife takes a nap.
She was also great for name calling. Lovely person...not.

Thanks, that's what i was hoping to hear. I grew up in a physically abused environment. Probably the whole area was, through the ocassion of alcohol fueled violence, but my folks didn't drink. But this all makes who you are, you take something from it that in some stage of your life gives you the street skills to get through things. And then maybe it ruins you, depends on what you do.

 

[Murakami_1]

The angry part, the sad one, the hurt one, the bitter one, it seems I got all of the negative qualities from them. But I also got the funny bone, so I suposse thats a plus

 

[user 191131]

What part of your parents lives on through you.​

The fear of abandonment they left me with which may have a lot to do with my reason for being here.

 

[Effervescent]

My father was a quiet person, never spoke too much.
My mother messes things up, breaks things by accident, sometimes doesn’t think at all. I am coming to terms with being the same but trying to minimise these occurrences as much as I can. I wish I could mention something more positive I’ve taken on from her.

 

[Abstamyous]

The belief that avoiding things, makes them go away.

 

[MrLonely86]

Well, my Dad is: futuristic genius type of guy, his IQ must be at least 145. He is like son of Einstein himself. XD He is also really really good driver, good enough to be a professional race car driver.

My mom on the other hand is very unschooled, but warm hearted and hyper sensitive.

I got best of both. XD

 

[Lemonbalm]

Good things:
Being practical.
Being a problem solver.
Being self-sufficient.
Being good with money.

Not so good things:
Not trusting anyone.
Looking for flaws in everything.
Expecting every situation to turn out for the worst.

 

[bodycode]

This is my first thread, and the question is about what part of your mum, your dad, lives on through you, whether you like it or not and forms the very basis of your behaviour, your characteristics and maybe the better or worse in you.

For me, my father in me comes through in my mistrust in people, the third degree. I'm tough to impress, and that doesn't usually grant me easy friends; however I do find likeminded people and even then, I don't trust them. Ha ha. My father was in Vietnam, he was a forward scout and I had an extremely good sense of smell which i think was passed on hereditarily from his experience and survivability; but covid fuc$ed that up for me.
As for my mother, I have strong domestic abilities, I can cook, I wash regularly clothes and linen, can sew, and own a sewing machine. I would have made a good little bit$h, and I'm straight too. But my domestics are tip top, and from her I gained strong financial skills, like saving and living within my means.

I hope this comes across as a means to share the things our parents may have graced us with and, yes the things that may get us stuck.

What I got from mom: Learning how to read with flash cards, and a whole lotta love, encouragement and support and kindness for a kid having problems.

Dad: Science and nature walks every weekend in The Bronx, got me into computers when I was 15 (I'm 63!), ham radio/electronics, rocket flying at the Orchard Beach parking lot, and so much more.

 

[ardour]

Hopefully the only parts that 'live on' are from my mother. The thought of inheriting anything from my father makes me want to dive off the nearest high-rise building.