My therapist always said, that...

[Melli12]

I need to find out, who is good for me, which people I feel really good with.

But it's not easy to distinguish and to find out.

Do I feel bad, because the person acts bad or is it just my Borderline thinking / behaviour?

I often had situations in which I stayed in relationships, that were abusive and excused bad behaviour towards me.

But I was also in situations, in which I dumped and even hurt people out of fear, because I was triggered, together with the inability to talk things through.

It's a vicious cycle I feel I don't know how to break.
I can't handle relationships. I don't know, what kind of therapy still helps me.

I think loneliness is the only stable thing in my life. I try not to hate me for that, for my failures, I try. But I'm desperately in pain.

 

[TogetherAlone]

Very relatable Sending love and hugs

 

[Melli12]

Thank you.

 

[TogetherAlone]

Hope things can get better for you <3

 

[Sarah G]

This is relatable for me too. I'm sorry that you suffer so deeply .

 

[Finished]

I try not to hate me for that, for my failures, I try. But I'm desperately in pain.

Please don't feel that way. It's not your fault. It's what you were dealt with. But, I do hope you can sort it all out after you realize it's not you. It's a problem that you would like to correct.

 

[Abstamyous]

You deserve better. If you feel that your failures make you less worthy, they don't. They are there to push you to find better for you.

 

[sparkyn98]

I need to find out, who is good for me, which people I feel really good with.

But it's not easy to distinguish and to find out.

Do I feel bad, because the person acts bad or is it just my Borderline thinking / behaviour?

I often had situations in which I stayed in relationships, that were abusive and excused bad behaviour towards me.

But I was also in situations, in which I dumped and even hurt people out of fear, because I was triggered, together with the inability to talk things through.

It's a vicious cycle I feel I don't know how to break.
I can't handle relationships. I don't know, what kind of therapy still helps me.

I think loneliness is the only stable thing in my life. I try not to hate me for that, for my failures, I try. But I'm desperately in pain.

You said you don't know what kind of therapy helps you.... what have you tried?
I have been to groups, done self help books and spent plenty of hours with one on one therapy. I minored in psych but just couldn't pull the trigger to become a therapist. Not sure I could stand everyone's pain every day with my co-dependent tendencies.

Anyway, my point is.... find what works for you? I actually love a good self help book that makes me evaluate myself. I grab a pen and a journal and really have some good long talks with myself.

If you trigger with others and chase them away... you may have separation anxiety of sorts. Where you make them leave before they can walk away and hurt you...
**NOT a doctor

Will be sending you positive vibes and hope you can find some answers!!
Just know... you are not alone.

 

[Melli12]

You said you don't know what kind of therapy helps you.... what have you tried?
I have been to groups, done self help books and spent plenty of hours with one on one therapy. I minored in psych but just couldn't pull the trigger to become a therapist. Not sure I could stand everyone's pain every day with my co-dependent tendencies.

Anyway, my point is.... find what works for you? I actually love a good self help book that makes me evaluate myself. I grab a pen and a journal and really have some good long talks with myself.

If you trigger with others and chase them away... you may have separation anxiety of sorts. Where you make them leave before they can walk away and hurt you...
**NOT a doctor

Will be sending you positive vibes and hope you can find some answers!!
Just know... you are not alone.

I get a specialized therapy for Borderline patients now, it's a mix of different therapies, also including dialectic behavioural therapy. It's very helpful, just still a long way to go.

Well, I have a typical insecure Borderline attachment style, but it gets better and better, the more I am aware of it. I would say it's more complex, than only separation anxiety.

Thank you, it's very nice, I appreciate that, helps a lot.

 

[sparkyn98]

I get a specialized therapy for Borderline patients now, it's a mix of different therapies, also including dialectic behavioural therapy. It's very helpful, just still a long way to go.

Well, I have a typical insecure Borderline attachment style, but it gets better and better, the more I am aware of it. I would say it's more complex, than only separation anxiety.

Thank you, it's very nice, I appreciate that, helps a lot.

Honestly, KNOWING your weakness/brokenness, whatever you chose to call it, is HALF the battle. I have to work ALL the time to not revert back to co-dependency ways of taking care of EVERYone.
I hope you keep up the work! It's totally worth it to be self aware. It may be lonely since setting boundaries and doing self care sometimes upsets others. KEEP going. Look out for you first.

 

[Melli12]

I do. I don't have any doubts about the therapy I get now. It works well.
Sounds, like you're on a good way, too.

 

[ewomack]

You always have your "virtual" friends here - not quite as good as the "real thing," but still something.

I really hope that things continue to improve for you!