My wishes and my inadequacy seem to contradict one another

[user 150037]

I went for a job interview today.  It was a company that was mostly consisted of people my own age - one of the main reasons I went for it was because it was, like I said, mostly people around my own age who worked there.  As much as I do wish that I could have more to do with people of my own age group, when I was there - and I saw all those tall, mature-looking confident guys, it made me feel a little small.

Does anyone else have that problem?  Feeling inferior around certain others? How do you deal with it?

 

[Jessicat]

I’ve always faked it. The more you do it, the easier it gets. 
Probably not the most healthy thing to do!
When I’m in a situation where I feel insecure I straighten my back, put on a smile, I try to ease my mind and focus on breathing calmly. It’s comforting to feel like you can cool yourself down in almost any situation. My mind can still me a hot mess but it gets me thru it.

 

[Joturbo]

Someone long ago gave me some tips that ultimately helped with my first ever job interview and I think ultimately got me my first job.I was nineteen years old ,very shy, lacking confidence , and absolutely bricking it at the thought of being interviewed by a panel of three people . Whoever it was I just can't remember but they told me to enter that room with a big smile , shake all the interviewers with a good firm handshake look them all dead in the eye but the important bit...imagine them all wearing knickers and pants only . Believe you me it worked a treat almost to the point that I was bordering on cocky my confidence was so high and I got the job .Maybe not applicable to you cause you've already got the job but I carried this on for the first few days of the job and I feel now it really helped with my feelings of inferiority and helped break the ice with my future work colleagues.I know this sounds a pants idea but it worked for me...good luck mate

 

[user 150037]

Thanks. Competition is often fierce. We can only do our best in life.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Kind of, but in a different way. A lot of the time I wish I could do certain things well (mostly creative things), but at the same time I don't feel particularly good at them naturally. So my wish to do these things, and to be a person who does these things, contradicts with my feelings of inadequacy to actually do those things or be the kind of person, who has the kind of mind, to do those things. If that makes sense.

 

[ewomack]

Yes, I sometimes land in inferiority complexes myself, but I've learned to hide it well, especially in work situations where people will often cut you down without a thought. Many toxic workplaces exist and they seem to succeed in making many of their workers toxic as well.

I try to remember that all of those confident, beautiful people all have problems similar to mine. They all have to go to the bathroom, they get their zippers stuck, they pick their noses (you know they do ) and they also have people that they feel insecure around. Even the CEO has to bow down to the Board of Trustees or to the shareholders. Though people never want to admit it, situation and luck often play big roles in so-called "success." A lot of people do fake it. It helps to know that the world is not a meritocracy. Sure, people have to have some talent, but there are a lot of smart and savvy people out there who never had someone in a "higher position" take them under their wing. Or be in the right position when the manager leaves. Or have been born in a family who actually cares about them and can provide the right advice and guidance that a neglected person would never receive. Sure, people can work around those things, but it's a lot harder. A lot of smart and talented people never get a chance.

Don't let people intimidate you, especially people at workplaces. The ones who know how to play the game are the ones who seem to last in those environments. They are insecure and frightened to, just of different things. They are no better than you are, they're just in different situations.

 

[Zorananda]

It's over for me. I decided to stop trying. I need to just lie down and rest, in peace.

 

[U-122]

I think i had a formal interview once or twice for jobs i knew i wouldn't get. My last job an ex-neighbor was a client and she put in a word for me. She then told me the manager/owner said to "come on Monday". But nobody officially told me anything. It was exactly like a Seinfeld episode where George showed up for work but he wasn't sure if he was officially hired or not. Same exact situation happened to me. I showed up, nobody knew who i was, i was told to sit down and relax. I showed up every day, sat down, and relaxed. For about a month. And then for 3 more years. But at least after one month they started to notice me and actually acknowledged my employment. At some point they realized i need to be put on payroll. lol

Back to OP's question. Only my skill level makes me feel small. When others know more than i do. I try not to show it. I sometimes pretended like i'm at higher skill level than i really was. Sometimes it gave me a chance to do something else than what i was originally hired to do. Superiority and confidence of others means nothing to me. There's ALWAYS someone better than me. I never bother with job interviews. We are adults we know the money game. It's always about money. What you can do to make/grab MORE money for your employer. There are other things that are important but not to me anymore. It's over for me. lol

 

[U-122]

It's over for me. I decided to stop trying. I need to just lie down and rest, in peace.

It's over for me too. At least you can go to the Suisse to lie down in peace with dignity. I have to struggle to exist every day and hope for the best/worst.

 

[Macsimum Myers]

I went for a job interview today. It was a company that was mostly consisted of people my own age - one of the main reasons I went for it was because it was, like I said, mostly people around my own age who worked there. As much as I do wish that I could have more to do with people of my own age group, when I was there - and I saw all those tall, mature-looking confident guys, it made me feel a little small.

Does anyone else have that problem? Feeling inferior around certain others? How do you deal with it?

I can't imagine how I would deal with that pressure today. I've flown to different states for interviews.
I always acted like I knew what I was doing. I always acted like I was the best man for the job. I always acted.

 

[Finished]

I can't imagine how I would deal with that pressure today. I've flown to different states for interviews.
I always acted like I knew what I was doing. I always acted like I was the best man for the job. I always acted.

I think many people act like they are the best for the job that's why so many things are messed up. Ha! ha! But, yeah, you really have to present yourself like you are exactly what they are looking for. Then you just hope you can fake doing the work too until you catch on.

 

[ewomack]

I can't imagine how I would deal with that pressure today. I've flown to different states for interviews.
I always acted like I knew what I was doing. I always acted like I was the best man for the job. I always acted.

Interviewing is mostly an act, so that makes sense. A company never really judges you the same as it does during an interview. It's a one performance show. Once you're in, things change. They still judge you, but in different ways. After enough time goes by it seems like the interview never even happened. The whole process is pretty flawed.

 

[Macsimum Myers]

Interviewing is mostly an act, so that makes sense. A company never really judges you the same as it does during an interview. It's a one performance show. Once you're in, things change. They still judge you, but in different ways. After enough time goes by it seems like the interview never even happened. The whole process is pretty flawed.

So true.

 

[Zorananda]

There are some jobs that "losers" should be allowed to be given. I don't know why someone would have to literally compete to be put into slavery (aka "volunteering") just to justify being allowed to then compete for a basic job that requires little to no intellect or specialized knowledge.