Hello everyone. I dont know how this web operates but ill be honest,the only reason why I signed up is because im mentally stressed and I wanted some help.
I am a pakistani boy aged 19. I moved to a new place in Emirates 4years ago. Me and another pakistani girl fell in love and we were in a relationship. In the beginning it was like any normal relationship,i mean we were 17 and just teenagers. We never thought of us being together for long long (marriage). But the relationship grew,and become stronger and stronger. Im going to be 20 in a few months and our relationship would age 4. We still love each other and dont see any reason why we wouldnt want to get married to each other.
The problem is my parents. I told my mum 2years ago about her and how i loved her soo much and wanted to get married to her. She told me i was too young and she would approve it when I would be able to stand on my feet. I felt it was the best answer and I felt very much releived. My dad on the other hand is a very strict person(Religious) and so I thought of not telling him anything. But end of 2009, my mum had cancer and she passed away (May she go to Jannah,Ameen). It was a very depressing moment for my whole family. my gf was really supportive during this sad time. It is then that I realised that I had to convince my dad myself later on for this marriage since mum had left us.
My brother and sister(married) also knew about her and they had once promised me to help me in the future to convince my dad. Last year in August, i was leaving to UK for higher education and on the airport my dad told me he wished to get me engaged soon to his brothers daughter(MY COUSIN:O) i told him im too young for all this. He said noone is getting me married,its just that his brother is really forcing him to make an informal agreement between the two families that later on(after 5-6 years),his daughter would get married to my dads son(me)
I so badly wanted to tell my dad that I had someone else in my mind but I was too scared as I didnt want to talk to him about it at that very minute. Plus my dad was soo emotional,he almost started weeping when he saw abit of my disapproval. I told him dont worry and I was just quiet and i just left. a few months later i started getting calls from Pakistan saying "rishta mubarak ho"
i was like wtf..and then i realised that dad actually went to pak and told his brother that he would also like his son to get married to his brothers daughter. I was shocked and I couldnt say anything because my dad would get soo embarassed that time in front of his whole family in such a "happy" occasion.
When my gf heard of this,she was completely broken and why wouldnt she? We seperated and I tried making up my mind that the girl i was engaged to,was the one for me and I had to put her in my mind. However I couldn't. Even being 1000s of miles away from my ex, i still loved her deeply and I was very furious. It is then when i made up my mind that im going to get back with my ex,and fight for her. It is during that time when i realised how much i want to be with my love,how much i need to be with my love.
Even my siblings have turned against me whenever i tell them of what i want since they feel if i ever open my mouth to my dad,he will get hurt due to embarassment since the girl he said yes to for me is his brothers daughter. and a huge family dispute might occur. I dont know what to do.im going to be 20 and I have many years left,I dont even want to get married any sooner. my ex agreed to get back with me because even she couldnt get over me and she loves me but another reason why she got back with me is because she knows i would fight for her.
I still have 3years of my bachelors,1 year of masters and some job experience before I can say that im standing on my feet. I dont know what to say to my dad.how to approach him.
My gf is still in Emirates and is studying medical. She is also from Pakistan but a different family background than mine. That could be a little problem with her parents too. But the main thing her parents would disapprove is if my dad doesnt approve my request. Her parents would want an offical Rishta or marriage request from my family to theirs. Apart from that her parents just look for a good guy,religious,well educated and well off and Insha Allah i dont think I would have problems achieving that. I know its still long away and who knows what might happen but I often get upset thinking about all this and hence discuss with my gf who feels more insecure.
Please help me guys if you guys can. If you guys cant,thanks for reading anyway
I am a pakistani boy aged 19. I moved to a new place in Emirates 4years ago. Me and another pakistani girl fell in love and we were in a relationship. In the beginning it was like any normal relationship,i mean we were 17 and just teenagers. We never thought of us being together for long long (marriage). But the relationship grew,and become stronger and stronger. Im going to be 20 in a few months and our relationship would age 4. We still love each other and dont see any reason why we wouldnt want to get married to each other.
The problem is my parents. I told my mum 2years ago about her and how i loved her soo much and wanted to get married to her. She told me i was too young and she would approve it when I would be able to stand on my feet. I felt it was the best answer and I felt very much releived. My dad on the other hand is a very strict person(Religious) and so I thought of not telling him anything. But end of 2009, my mum had cancer and she passed away (May she go to Jannah,Ameen). It was a very depressing moment for my whole family. my gf was really supportive during this sad time. It is then that I realised that I had to convince my dad myself later on for this marriage since mum had left us.
My brother and sister(married) also knew about her and they had once promised me to help me in the future to convince my dad. Last year in August, i was leaving to UK for higher education and on the airport my dad told me he wished to get me engaged soon to his brothers daughter(MY COUSIN:O) i told him im too young for all this. He said noone is getting me married,its just that his brother is really forcing him to make an informal agreement between the two families that later on(after 5-6 years),his daughter would get married to my dads son(me)
I so badly wanted to tell my dad that I had someone else in my mind but I was too scared as I didnt want to talk to him about it at that very minute. Plus my dad was soo emotional,he almost started weeping when he saw abit of my disapproval. I told him dont worry and I was just quiet and i just left. a few months later i started getting calls from Pakistan saying "rishta mubarak ho"
i was like wtf..and then i realised that dad actually went to pak and told his brother that he would also like his son to get married to his brothers daughter. I was shocked and I couldnt say anything because my dad would get soo embarassed that time in front of his whole family in such a "happy" occasion.
When my gf heard of this,she was completely broken and why wouldnt she? We seperated and I tried making up my mind that the girl i was engaged to,was the one for me and I had to put her in my mind. However I couldn't. Even being 1000s of miles away from my ex, i still loved her deeply and I was very furious. It is then when i made up my mind that im going to get back with my ex,and fight for her. It is during that time when i realised how much i want to be with my love,how much i need to be with my love.
Even my siblings have turned against me whenever i tell them of what i want since they feel if i ever open my mouth to my dad,he will get hurt due to embarassment since the girl he said yes to for me is his brothers daughter. and a huge family dispute might occur. I dont know what to do.im going to be 20 and I have many years left,I dont even want to get married any sooner. my ex agreed to get back with me because even she couldnt get over me and she loves me but another reason why she got back with me is because she knows i would fight for her.
I still have 3years of my bachelors,1 year of masters and some job experience before I can say that im standing on my feet. I dont know what to say to my dad.how to approach him.
My gf is still in Emirates and is studying medical. She is also from Pakistan but a different family background than mine. That could be a little problem with her parents too. But the main thing her parents would disapprove is if my dad doesnt approve my request. Her parents would want an offical Rishta or marriage request from my family to theirs. Apart from that her parents just look for a good guy,religious,well educated and well off and Insha Allah i dont think I would have problems achieving that. I know its still long away and who knows what might happen but I often get upset thinking about all this and hence discuss with my gf who feels more insecure.
Please help me guys if you guys can. If you guys cant,thanks for reading anyway
