Hello well here is my story, I just need some opinions cuz I am really confused and have no clue of what to do at this point, but the pain gets stronger.
I have a friend, his by far one of my better friends. Well about two years ago a bit less he started dating this girl. Everything was fine between them I think, we didn't talk about his relationship much. Last year he moved to Vancouver with his parents. The girl visited him couple times after he left (in this past year). After he left, she was lonely and started hanging out with us (which wasn't like this before). She was getting better, not sure how this happened but I started falling in love with her the more we were hanging out. We started telling each other our deep secrets just lay there on the grass and let our emotions out, I would cheer her up she would cheer me up, everything was great. I still talk to that friend his still by far a better friend then the rest, I trust him like a brother, he does too. I still talk to him on the phone and such, I visited him 2 times since he left. His girl and I went to movies together sometimes alone sometimes with other friends, there wasn't anything between us like, but I felt that I love her (still do).
If you ask yourself how do I know what love is, well I just feel it , when she talks to other guys, goes to places, I always feel jealousy like I want to be there too with her see she is fine check on her. I really care for her, I can just sit and look at her all day nothing will take my concentration off her.
We used to walk and talk about all the things that are hard in life, future in school, everything. My friend knows we are hanging out and is happy that she is at least hanging out with me and not some other people he doesn't trust; We made a promise with her we will never lie to each other since that day we didn’t lie, we always tell truth talk to each other. Now here is the problem. No one knows I love her except me, I can’t tell him cuz that would be wrong and I can’t tell her cuz I don't know what she might say, she might be like what the hell and stop talking to me which that can’t happen because I really need her, or she will tell him and I don't want to lose him.
I care for her, and would do anything to protect her, we used to go to friends birthday parties and I would never drink just sit and watch she was fine and that no one touches her. I did it not from need but from want, I would do anything to keep her safe.
Here is where the problems started; she started drinking at parties and whenever he boyfriend asked me what we did I would tell him went to a party which he knew about but lie to him about her drinking, id tell him she didn't when she did. I felt so bad cuz I was lying to my best friend but in the same time I didn't want her to get hurt, from them fighting. As long as I knew I was there nothing could go wrong. Then she started hanging out with three guys who are much older than me, in their late 20's. She started going to clubs with them, bars without me knowing and lying that she went with friends (girls). It hurts me so much that she goes there with them, she went to movies, parks etc. She talks to them on the phone and texts them a lot, its like she forgot about me. But I still feel the same thing towards her, we see each other about once a week and I always see her texting those guys. We still talk to each other on the phone and text but she is not the same towards me as she was, its like she forgot about me completely. She lied to our promise, here she started lying.
I don't know what to do now, I love her and I wish those emotions will leave me, but they aren't. I understand we will have nothing together because her boyfriend doesn't find out since I am not telling him and she wont tell for sure. I don't want to brake them up and tell her I love her because I don't want to lose him and her. But I am scared to about her hanging out with those guys, she tells me they are nice and all but like she never calls me when they go out (those guys and their friends).
My concerns are:
What should I do, I lie to my friend to keep her safe but I feel guilt/ pain for doing so. I don't want to lose her or him.
What should I do about what I feel towards her, im really confused.
This jealousy that I feel that she hangs out with other people and lies to me that she is going with girls and I find out she was with them again. what does that mean?
Please let me know what you guys think. Every comment counts, I am really lost at this point.
P.S. They are still kinda dating just to make that clear. Long distance relationship I guess.
I have a friend, his by far one of my better friends. Well about two years ago a bit less he started dating this girl. Everything was fine between them I think, we didn't talk about his relationship much. Last year he moved to Vancouver with his parents. The girl visited him couple times after he left (in this past year). After he left, she was lonely and started hanging out with us (which wasn't like this before). She was getting better, not sure how this happened but I started falling in love with her the more we were hanging out. We started telling each other our deep secrets just lay there on the grass and let our emotions out, I would cheer her up she would cheer me up, everything was great. I still talk to that friend his still by far a better friend then the rest, I trust him like a brother, he does too. I still talk to him on the phone and such, I visited him 2 times since he left. His girl and I went to movies together sometimes alone sometimes with other friends, there wasn't anything between us like, but I felt that I love her (still do).
If you ask yourself how do I know what love is, well I just feel it , when she talks to other guys, goes to places, I always feel jealousy like I want to be there too with her see she is fine check on her. I really care for her, I can just sit and look at her all day nothing will take my concentration off her.
We used to walk and talk about all the things that are hard in life, future in school, everything. My friend knows we are hanging out and is happy that she is at least hanging out with me and not some other people he doesn't trust; We made a promise with her we will never lie to each other since that day we didn’t lie, we always tell truth talk to each other. Now here is the problem. No one knows I love her except me, I can’t tell him cuz that would be wrong and I can’t tell her cuz I don't know what she might say, she might be like what the hell and stop talking to me which that can’t happen because I really need her, or she will tell him and I don't want to lose him.
I care for her, and would do anything to protect her, we used to go to friends birthday parties and I would never drink just sit and watch she was fine and that no one touches her. I did it not from need but from want, I would do anything to keep her safe.
Here is where the problems started; she started drinking at parties and whenever he boyfriend asked me what we did I would tell him went to a party which he knew about but lie to him about her drinking, id tell him she didn't when she did. I felt so bad cuz I was lying to my best friend but in the same time I didn't want her to get hurt, from them fighting. As long as I knew I was there nothing could go wrong. Then she started hanging out with three guys who are much older than me, in their late 20's. She started going to clubs with them, bars without me knowing and lying that she went with friends (girls). It hurts me so much that she goes there with them, she went to movies, parks etc. She talks to them on the phone and texts them a lot, its like she forgot about me. But I still feel the same thing towards her, we see each other about once a week and I always see her texting those guys. We still talk to each other on the phone and text but she is not the same towards me as she was, its like she forgot about me completely. She lied to our promise, here she started lying.
I don't know what to do now, I love her and I wish those emotions will leave me, but they aren't. I understand we will have nothing together because her boyfriend doesn't find out since I am not telling him and she wont tell for sure. I don't want to brake them up and tell her I love her because I don't want to lose him and her. But I am scared to about her hanging out with those guys, she tells me they are nice and all but like she never calls me when they go out (those guys and their friends).
My concerns are:
What should I do, I lie to my friend to keep her safe but I feel guilt/ pain for doing so. I don't want to lose her or him.
What should I do about what I feel towards her, im really confused.
This jealousy that I feel that she hangs out with other people and lies to me that she is going with girls and I find out she was with them again. what does that mean?
Please let me know what you guys think. Every comment counts, I am really lost at this point.
P.S. They are still kinda dating just to make that clear. Long distance relationship I guess.
