No friends and sort of ok with that?

[xJessicaRabbitx]

I thought i was kind of a weirdo before i found this forum and read some of the articles here and found that i'm really not. Growing up in Utah around mormons was the hardest thing for me, seeing as i'm not one. I had friends here and there but only one at a time and I never kept them for longer then a year.
My parents are never, and will never bring home friends. My mother is a socialite beyond belief but she just doesn't keep friends around her and i think it's just strange. My father was a shy skinny little dude growing up with depression running in the family. Then he met my mom and married her (first woman he ever dated).
I think it's fair to say that that combined with where i grew up contributed with the way i feel today at 20 years of age. I just have this feeling in my gut to stay away from people that decides really everything i do in my life. I don't want to go to busy stores, i hate going to school, i don't want to go to parties EVER, and everyone at my job is just the biggest douches to me!
Strangely enough I have a boyfriend who is just like my mother, a socialite to the max, he just LOVES people. He tries to make me go do things with him and meet new people but sadly i just don't want to. I don't know if it's strange or not that i just don't have that basic human instinct to be around other people. I remember learning in psychology that human beings have the urge to be around other humans, but i really don't.
The only reason I have been looking up reasons for this problem is because i have screwed my life up big time. I should be a junior in college right now but i am still a freshman. I skipped out on 3 semesters and just didn't go to one of them, and now i have not been to my current semester in 3 weeks. I think its the depression that courses through my families veins and i just ******* hate it so much. I wish i could be like my boyfriend or my mother, just be around people and be happy and comfortable but i just can't.
So probably the reason i posted here is because i just need someone to tell me what they did to kind of help themselves with a problem like mine. Being like this my whole life it's not just something i can stop whenever i want cause i really don't know how.
I appreciate any feedback,
Jessica

 

[IgnoredOne]

Depression and loneliness are sometimes related, but not necessarily so. Some people appreciate solitude and need much fewer people in their lives; if your main concern is depression, have you taken lifestyle steps to combat it?

Exercise, sleep and diet are probably the first and easiest things to affect and should be considered before more drastic measures such as medication. This is especially true if you feel that your depression is genetic, and thus somewhat neurological/chemical rather than situational.

 

[xJessicaRabbitx]

Well sometimes i think the depression stems from the lack of friends. Most people like me probably have that urge sometimes that they would just love to go hang out with friends and have fun for once instead of just staying home; or knowing that you have someone besides your family that you can rely on in time of need.
It seems like as time goes on and i go and facebook and see all the happy people with their friends the need for them is growing, but i don't have the ability to go out and make that connection with people cause quite frankly i don't know how to do it. I've tried many a time but i get shot down like i've got three heads. Doesn't really make sense to me because my boyfriend loves everything about me but no one else does, and surely he can't be the only one in the whole damn world that likes me for me lol.

 

[IgnoredOne]

Well, if you are looking to break out from loneliness and meet people - have you thought about joining clubs that share a common interest with one of yours? Especially in college, that should be relatively easy

 

[Sci-Fi]

My mom isn't a very sociable person, she gets out and talks to people and makes friends, but that's from the volunteer work she does. Which seems to be enough for her. If it wasn't for that she'd just be sitting at home watching tv and cleaning the house, and attempting to bake.

Btw welcome to the site, I like your user name.

 

[xJessicaRabbitx]

Thanks Sci-Fi

 

[Ak5]

Well sometimes i think the depression stems from the lack of friends. Most people like me probably have that urge sometimes that they would just love to go hang out with friends and have fun for once instead of just staying home; or knowing that you have someone besides your family that you can rely on in time of need.

Hear, hear! You and me alike in this.

Anyway.. Maybe your depression comes from your college work and being behind? About friends, I think it's just the depression that makes you feel that way; you want to be happy like your boyfriend but you don't have that.

Making friends comes from common interests, find that and you're bound to make friends; no matter how inexperienced you are with people. That's my best bet: Find groups of people that have your common interests and let yourself go, try to eliminate all the nervousness that you feel when talking to people.