Not a Lonely Life, Just Lonely

[TrishTrash]

Hello All,

I am a new user and my first post here.....

I don't have a very isolated life, I am socially active and in a relationship as well as I do not live alone. Yet, I do feel very alone during this time in my life for some reason. Can anyone relate? Sometimes I do feel like a complete stranger could understand better what I am feeling than those that are the most close to me on a daily basis.

Sometimes, I feel as if making small talk(or more than small talk) with a complete stranger refuels my need for human communication better than the most intimate conversation with those that surround me. It's a strange disconnected feeling that has come over me in the last year or two.

Anyone else?  Or maybe you feel completely opposite? Let's chat.

-Trish

 

[Lacrecia]

hi, welcome to ALL.
I can't say i relate totally. I don't start conversations with strangers, but I dont mind having one if they start it.
I do understand how it is to feel lonely among people tho..

 

[Hopetracer]

Welcome to ALL forum

I understand feeling of loneliness while physically being with other people. However, I am aware of distance between me and others irl as well as the lack of intimate conversation in my life. Part of loneliness comes from a void of external care of a person's interests, concerns, problems, dreams and so. A void that can easily be caused by lack of close relationships when there is no person to connect on a deeper level.

I am fine with talking to strangers and meeting new people as with common interest and understanding a kind of friendship blossoms sooner or later.

 

[constant stranger]

A personal conversation about personal issues, carried on with a stranger, can sometimes lead to those issues being sorted out, or resolved, or clarified, just because the two unacquainted people aren't carrying any "baggage" from a shared past. Well it's worked like that for me a few times.

That's probably not what you're really getting at TrishTrash, it's just a thought. Good to have you here!

 

[Skyless]

I can defenitley relate to at least part of what you are describing, the feeling seems familiar anyway. It was during a relationship with a person who generally made me feel more alone than actually being alone and I remember conversations with random strangers during that time seemed to show more caring or empathy or just a very basic simple level of understanding than I could find in that relationship.

It's not something I think I really understood during that time but I can vividly remember that feeling and how strange/wrong that felt. I know this isn't really what you are describing specifically, but I guess it's how I relate to it.

Conversations with strangers tend to be surface level but usually very to the point, so you are more likley to hit the things you really want to talk about very quickly and directly, I suppose depending on how open you can be. Those kinds of conversations tend to be more on the polite side or informal but generally simple short and pleasant or neutral. There is no history as distractions or the kind of day in day out routines and problems and repetitive focuses that can muddle or at least flatten interactions with a partner, family member or friend. They also tend to have a definite beginning and end while a lot of more close to home conversations can be left open or melt into the fray.

So I guess those are my thoughts on why those kinds of conversations with strangers can have that more satisfying aftertaste.

I guess my question to you Trish would be, when you say "most intimate conversation with those that surround me" do you mean intimate just because they are close to you or intimate in that you actually get to say what you want to express and be heard if not necessarily understood?

Sheesh, I do go on Have a good one

 

[Gorbachov]

Salutations!

I can relate to this to an extent - i'm not alone in a sense that there are no people aswell, it's just i haven't had a connection with anyone for couple of years now. It can become overwhelming feeling this lost and disconnected from everybody around you.

 

[MisterLonely]

Hello and welcome to ALL,

Hope you'll find what your looking for

 

[TrishTrash]

Sorry for the delay, thank you so much to everyone for responding to my prompt I'm really excited that so many people had something to say.

---

Skyless,
 
Actually I feel like no one has put into words how I'm feeling as well as you just have!  Though I'm not sure the cause of the feeling in my situation is exactly the same as in yours, the feeling you described is VERY familiar to what I have been trying to understand on a daily basis.



Sometimes a fresh perspective makes so much difference

---

Yes, exactly! I have felt myself slipping away from everyone I was close with, and despite all my attempts to reach out and keep the flame of friendship alive, there just isn't enough in-person communication to keep those particular people interested in the friendship.

 

[TrishTrash]

"Part of loneliness comes from a void of external care of a person's interests, concerns, problems, dreams and so."

I had never even considered that my loneliness and anxiety may stem from ignoring or pushing aside personal needs OTHER than basic socialization. I've been trying to meet people and go out for drinks, grab lunch together, etc etc for years and felt totally alone despite how active or inactive my "social life" was at the time.

I'm currently in a situation where I feel very restricted from pursuing certain personal goals because it may upset the ONE person I feel I'm close to, and I've been too worried about losing that connection, and being "totally alone". But maybe if I ever get up the courage to put those wants and dreams first, I would feel more fulfilled than having a partner makes me feel.

Very interesting to hear everyone's responses to my post! These are making me think a lot!

 

[Meaw]

Welcome ^_^