Not Wanted

[Rayri]

im so pissed right now. i try to talk to people and tell them about my problems and they just say..wow. They call me mean when they are really. i do my best to please people all my life. i cant understand it. im seriously not wanted. i try to put EVERYTHING that concerns me behind and just focus on them. it seems that i cant do it. i want to please people so i can be liked. i just want to be wanted. My biggest fear is being rejected and not wanted. there is no one i could talk to in person. i wish there was. Venting on a computer is just not enough. i wish i could have killed myself when i was young and innocent. it wouldnt have mattered much. and id be alot happier..[/align]

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i try to shut people out and act independent..but i cant. im sitting there literally SCREAMING inside for someone to talk to me when i act all.."tough". Why cant i just be normal ?

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ive been called "clingy" and "demanding" and "needy" because i like to be around people so much (Unless im in a bad mood !). i hate it. i seriously wish i had the loner profile.

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i guess im a total attention whore, huh ?..I CANT TAKE IT. IM SO UPSET RIGHT NOW.

 

[LoneKiller]

Lay it on us Boss. We're here to help. If you feel uncomfortable discussing certain things on the board, pm one of us and we'll help you out.

 

[Rayri]

Oh okay. Thank you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Lol...I can be like that sometimes....
I get ya...I understand you too.
and Im sorry life is kind da fucken
retarded and whomever the **** design
life on this planet and how fucken thing
are kind off the fucken wall is a big ass
prankster...

You have a very big heart...This I also know. You love mcuh and all you wish is to be loved in returned.

You might try googling codependecy..
itll hit you like a ton of bricks.
Youll be like."holi ****...thats meto the key."

People pleasing sucks ass bu is like why in the **** cant people just be nice and grateful and aprriciate the things you do for them?

Yeap those damn selffish ungrateful bithces..

Then theyll wanna spin it around and say its all youre god damn foult for caring so god damn much...

Pouring salt into ther wounds..

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Im sorry your going though so much pains....It hurts bad. This I know too.

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Well....Im turning over a new leaf...

since Im not wanted...Im going to start getting really really selffish and Look out for number 1....
( its like going the god grain for me and doing everthing in fucken reverse of what I was doing.lol)
I got this nasty ass guilty feeling..
but **** it anywho...

Im telling everybody to **** OFF and They can all kiss my matha fucken ass.

 

[fulla]

I understand your pain excatly, but try to change your thinking positively

you can say: this is the live and do not care about everything, just help people and do not wait any thing from them.

I hope you understand what I am meaning.

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Lol...I can be like that sometimes....
I get ya...I understand you too.
and Im sorry life is kind da fucken
retarded and whomever the **** design
life on this planet and how fucken thing
are kind off the fucken wall is a big ass
prankster...

You have a very big heart...This I also know. You love mcuh and all you wish is to be loved in returned.

You might try googling codependecy..
itll hit you like a ton of bricks.
Youll be like."holi ****...thats meto the key."

People pleasing sucks ass bu is like why in the **** cant people just be nice and grateful and aprriciate the things you do for them?

Yeap those damn selffish ungrateful bithces..

Then theyll wanna spin it around and say its all youre god damn foult for caring so god damn much...

Pouring salt into ther wounds..

---

Im sorry your going though so much pains....It hurts bad. This I know too.

---

Well....Im turning over a new leaf...

since Im not wanted...Im going to start getting really really selffish and Look out for number 1....
( its like going the god grain for me and doing everthing in fucken reverse of what I was doing.lol)
I got this nasty ass guilty feeling..
but **** it anywho...

Im telling everybody to **** OFF and They can all kiss my matha fucken ass.

---

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I read your reply always, but I did not understand all your words, so can you choose some easy words which I can understand it.

Many thanks

 

[Rayri]

I kind of dont understand XP and Lonesome Crow, it is hard to comprehend some of teh things you are saying.

 

[Kat]

You have to take the focus off of other people so much. Focus on yourself. Do the things you like. Otherwise people may begin to take advantage of you if you're trying so hard to please them.

 

[Arcane]

you can always pm me if you need someone to talk to .

 

[SophiaGrace]

I used to be like that, somewhat still am. It used to hurt so much when I would try to mak people happy and they didn't notice.



*hugs for you*

 

[VanillaCreme]

I kind of dont understand XP and Lonesome Crow, it is hard to comprehend some of teh things you are saying.

You're not the only one who can't understand what he posts. It's okay.


And as far as not being wanted, I don't think that's the case. However, when you push yourself onto people, they will most likely tend to not want to deal with you. Not everyone will be pleased with you, and not everyone will like you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I understand that you're hurting. I hurt in the very sameway.
I have no control over of my love ones and the many bad chioces that they make.
Nothing I say, do or done wasnt good enough.

I do love myself a lot and I love my love ones more than life itself.

Ive tried controlling and not controlling. It still remains....Its all ****** up.

And I feel very very guilty to let all of it go.
It hurts just the same no matter how i go about it.

And it's gotten to this point for me...(again)
All the dramma, chaos and truama, I can no longer bare.
Its like chosing between of the lesser of the two evil.
I need to start taking care of myself first and formost inspite of all my pains and guilt.

Try Googleing Co-dependcy.
Maybe you can read literature that you can identify with.
It might solve all youre problems. Maybe it might some insight.

 

[HappyYogi]

Rayri

You told us what you think is wrong...I don't know about the others but for me it would be helpful if you gave us a specific incident/situation for us to dissect and comment on. It's hard to answer general issues. If you described an incident, the conversation, what happened, etc, we might understand better and be able to help you more.

You could start with the most recent event that is making you teary eyed.

 

[Arrielle]

try to find a friend to go out with. Internet will never solve these sorts of issues. I am in Atlanta. and we can go out sometimes and talk.

 

[Rayri]

Oh Happy Yoji, i apologize for that. Arrielle i wish we could but im not sure if parents would allow. im basically in Atlanta too.

 

[roguewave]

The people pleasing is totally a lose-lose situation. If you do end up making someone happy in that people pleasing way, they can sense it and treat you like their little bitch. If you don't please them they are mean/ignore you, as you have mentioned.

The human spirit needs to feel wanted. It's how most of us are and it can kinda blow if you're an eccentric or socially different.

I have the loner profile but I don't mind if you want to attention whore me via PM.

 

[Rayri]

oh okay
id rather be treated like their "bitch" than to be ignored. That hurts.

 

[roguewave]

oh okay
id rather be treated like their "bitch" than to be ignored. That hurts.

Hi Rayri,
I hope you mean that it hurts to be treated like that and that my message didn't hurt you. I'm really sorry if it did, that wasn't my intention at all.

 

[Rayri]

Yes thats what i mean. i mean it hurts to be ignored.