Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

Okay men... change of pace from the girl with the round face... would you find a woman that constantly changes her look off putting? This question is close to home because I am forever changing up my look, with make up, wearing different colour hair extensions, contact lenses (I wear contact lenses soo much my eyes are getting damaged, pray I find out more results on laser eye colour change) countless procedures, non surgical so theres no real permanent damage but sometimes I have been injured for months on the pursuit of prettiness. (My word play is unmatched! I joke... I joke... kinda?) Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

Oh and question 2: I wondered, without women organising little get togethers and double dates, would men ever really go out their way to organise these events? They seem to have a good time, and drift away when it comes time to talk about seeing everyone again, I remember hearing "we'll let the women organise the one". Why do they do that? Is it just normalised gender roles?

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Okay men... change of pace from the girl with the round face... would you find a woman that constantly changes her look off putting? This question is close to home because I am forever changing up my look, with make up, wearing different colour hair extensions, contact lenses (I wear contact lenses soo much my eyes are getting damaged, pray I find out more results on laser eye colour change) countless procedures, non surgical so theres no real permanent damage but sometimes I have been injured for months on the pursuit of prettiness. (My word play is unmatched! I joke... I joke... kinda?) Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

I appreciate iridescence, actually.

Oh and question 2: I wondered, without women organising little get togethers and double dates, would men ever really go out their way to organise these events? They seem to have a good time, and drift away when it comes time to talk about seeing everyone again, I remember hearing "we'll let the women organise the one". Why do they do that? Is it just normalised gender roles?

Men live very isolating lives.
We just do. Even the socialites among us are pretty solitary and it's usually just a pleasantry for business or organization purposes. We are that way because we're socially trained to be that way. That's just part of being a man. We're by default fairly antisocial, even in our socialization. That's because Men understand mechanical structures pretty intuitively the way that women understand emotional structures pretty intuitively. That's not at all to imply that one is better than the other, but rather more like, the difference between a cup of coffee and a can of soda: Taste is different, but the amount of caffeine is about the same.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Maybe so. But, I've never had any homemade pizza that is miles above restaurants. But, other Italian food, there's no comparison.

Maybe I'll just have to come over to your house and try some of your homemade pizza. Just make sure to have some homemade ziti as well. I promise none of it will go to waste no matter how long it takes to eat it all.

I know I'm not a guy, nor really answering the question, but I have to say homemade pizzas are great. Much better than restaurants. I had a friend that straight up took two of them from my stove, and she informed me that her and her kids enjoyed them a lot. Homemade dough, simmered sauce, and freshly shredded cheese makes a difference.

 

[9006]

Okay men... change of pace from the girl with the round face... would you find a woman that constantly changes her look off putting? This question is close to home because I am forever changing up my look, with make up, wearing different colour hair extensions, contact lenses (I wear contact lenses soo much my eyes are getting damaged, pray I find out more results on laser eye colour change) countless procedures, non surgical so theres no real permanent damage but sometimes I have been injured for months on the pursuit of prettiness. (My word play is unmatched! I joke... I joke... kinda?) Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

Really it depends on the severity of these changes. Most people make changes from time to time but to completely change your look constantly is a little off putting. But mainly because it goes against my way of thinking, I suppose.. I mean I understand people are sometimes self conscious, but isn't it easier to try and accept who you are than to change to try and reach your idea of what pretty is? And, if you meet someone would this put pressure on your to keep it up? Personality aside, would you rather someone be attracted to the real you, rather than some crusty the clown version?

Oh and question 2: I wondered, without women organising little get togethers and double dates, would men ever really go out their way to organise these events? They seem to have a good time, and drift away when it comes time to talk about seeing everyone again, I remember hearing "we'll let the women organise the one". Why do they do that? Is it just normalised gender roles?

It has nothing to do with gender roles. I'm not speaking for all men here, but I couldn't care less about organising get-togethers and double dates, lol. I think if you all know each other/friends it's a little more appealing, but still not much. Generally, I don't think men enjoy it as much.

 

[Hazed]

Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

Looks like its more about the illness than the appearance stuff. If i had a girl like that id simply stop her being ill. Healthy girl happy girl. The appearance changing will stop after that.

 

[Hazed]

It has nothing to do with gender roles. I'm not speaking for all men here, but I couldn't care less about organising get-togethers and double dates, lol. I think if you all know each other/friends it's a little more appealing, but still not much. Generally, I don't think men enjoy it as much.

I agree with this, nothing to add.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I appreciate iridescence, actually.



Men live very isolating lives.
We just do. Even the socialites among us are pretty solitary and it's usually just a pleasantry for business or organization purposes. We are that way because we're socially trained to be that way. That's just part of being a man. We're by default fairly antisocial, even in our socialization. That's because Men understand mechanical structures pretty intuitively the way that women understand emotional structures pretty intuitively. That's not at all to imply that one is better than the other, but rather more like, the difference between a cup of coffee and a can of soda: Taste is different, but the amount of caffeine is about the same.

You know, I like a man that can appreciate a different look, helps me cope with my condition so its super important to me to have that support.

As for question 2, it's interesting, are men socially trained to be that way because of territorial instincts maybe?

Really it depends on the severity of these changes. Most people make changes from time to time but to completely change your look constantly is a little off putting. But mainly because it goes against my way of thinking, I suppose.. I mean I understand people are sometimes self conscious, but isn't it easier to try and accept who you are than to change to try and reach your idea of what pretty is? And, if you meet someone would this put pressure on your to keep it up? Personality aside, would you rather someone be attracted to the real you, rather than some crusty the clown version?


It has nothing to do with gender roles. I'm not speaking for all men here, but I couldn't care less about organising get-togethers and double dates, lol. I think if you all know each other/friends it's a little more appealing, but still not much. Generally, I don't think men enjoy it as much.

Lol finding it hard to answer the questions with this one, seems like a lot of loaded questions. I cant accept how I look, similarly to someone with OCD just accepting everything is okay if something is out of place. If I meet someone, I let them know I consider myself a dynamic person, I want to be appreciated, but they have to be careful not to feed into my condition with compliments that I find triggering. I think deep down I'd want someone who accepts me for me, not as in looks but someone who expresses themselves through cosmetics, someone with a condition and someone who is still worth loving regardless of their hair extensions.


Interesting, because even when they are talking about meeting up again, they just say they'll let the ladies organise it, so like even if they had a good time. When I think about work roles most of the receptionists and admin are women I just thought maybe gender roles are at play.

Looks like its more about the illness than the appearance stuff. If i had a girl like that id simply stop her being ill. Healthy girl happy girl. The appearance changing will stop after that.

But okay, while she is recovering, would you love her any less? Because she changes her look up a lot?

 

[Hazed]

But okay, while she is recovering, would you love her any less? Because she changes her look up a lot?

No not at all. It's a tough process and i'd do what i can to support her. Likewise i'd need patience with my oddities as well.

 

[Claudia1794]

Not a man and I know you only asked the men but I want to comment. I’m guessing most of the guys on here are introverts so it’s kind of expected that they would not really be likely to plan and organize gatherings, maybe very small, but not with lots of people. I’ve known plenty if guys that will jump on any chance to have a party, bbq, camping trip, game night...I mean literally anything. It’s exhausting being with someone like this.

As far as your condition, can a man not suffer from the same thing? I had never even heard of it until you mentioned it but I’ve known guys who wear colored contacts, change their hair color and styles and styles of dress. I’m not saying that’s the same thing but these things you mentioned go both ways. Personally, I don’t care what a person does with their anything. I see it as playing a role kind of, like dress up.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

As for question 2, it's interesting, are men socially trained to be that way because of territorial instincts maybe?

No, actually. We're trained to be that way through abusive social conditioning. And the healthiest and most progressive way of dealing with that is to try to best understand the chains that bind you. No man is born knowing how to do that, it's something that we just have to figure out for ourselves in life.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Not a man and I know you only asked the men but I want to comment. I’m guessing most of the guys on here are introverts so it’s kind of expected that they would not really be likely to plan and organize gatherings, maybe very small, but not with lots of people. I’ve known plenty if guys that will jump on any chance to have a party, bbq, camping trip, game night...I mean literally anything. It’s exhausting being with someone like this.

As far as your condition, can a man not suffer from the same thing? I had never even heard of it until you mentioned it but I’ve known guys who wear colored contacts, change their hair color and styles and styles of dress. I’m not saying that’s the same thing but these things you mentioned go both ways. Personally, I don’t care what a person does with their anything. I see it as playing a role kind of, like dress up.

You know maybe its just the UK but the guys will be keen to go, but never organise it, like ever. Even my bro was like hey, you need to figure out what I am doing for my bday... I was like what lol it's your bday you figure it out.

Yeah mostly gay men experience BDD from what I have been told, but vast majority of sufferers are women, I think it's more controversial for women to alter their looks than men, if a man has dyed hair, no one starts saying omg you are a liar, even toupee's are not met with as much controversy as wearing hair extensions. Thats just my perspective though I feel the same with even the trans community, the MtF are not called fake but are said to be their "authentic selves" when having cosmetic procedures whereas I am deemed to be fake for example. Both of us have mental conditions from the dysmorphic side but they are looked at completely differently.

 

[Claudia1794]

You know maybe its just the UK but the guys will be keen to go, but never organise it, like ever. Even my bro was like hey, you need to figure out what I am doing for my bday... I was like what lol it's your bday you figure it out.

Maybe or maybe its just the guys I've always been around. My experiences are limited to mostly the southern parts of the US.
As far as the BDD, in an attempt to not seem rude, I fail to see the similarities between the trans community and you, a straight woman. But who cares. As long as you are doing what works for you that's all that should matter.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Maybe or maybe its just the guys I've always been around. My experiences are limited to mostly the southern parts of the US.
As far as the BDD, in an attempt to not seem rude, I fail to see the similarities between the trans community and you, a straight woman. But who cares. As long as you are doing what works for you that's all that should matter.

The trans community have gender dysphoria and I have body dysmorphia which are similar was the link I was trying to make… both feel our outward appearance is incorrect but unlike them I am banned from doing anything to my body by every plastic surgeon in the UK so I have to go abroad. I also feel people see them as becoming their authentic self whilst I am seen as becoming a fake… its no hate to anyone just something I noticed.

 

[Finished]

I know I'm not a guy, nor really answering the question, but I have to say homemade pizzas are great. Much better than restaurants. I had a friend that straight up took two of them from my stove, and she informed me that her and her kids enjoyed them a lot. Homemade dough, simmered sauce, and freshly shredded cheese makes a difference.

Well, you know, I thought more about this last night. Ha! ha! And the pizza I really enjoyed was served at various small family owned pizza places. Besides fresh ingredients they cook the sauce for hours. I really like a dark, hearty sauce. Most of the restaurant stuff is bright red sauce, mostly from cans, with lots of sugar in it. Not, so good.

 

[Finished]

Okay men... change of pace from the girl with the round face... would you find a woman that constantly changes her look off putting? This question is close to home because I am forever changing up my look, with make up, wearing different colour hair extensions, contact lenses (I wear contact lenses soo much my eyes are getting damaged, pray I find out more results on laser eye colour change) countless procedures, non surgical so theres no real permanent damage but sometimes I have been injured for months on the pursuit of prettiness. (My word play is unmatched! I joke... I joke... kinda?) Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

It think that makes a person hotter! Seeing the same person look the same way all the time, even pretty people, gets boring. I've actually been requested to try to change my appearances because the person I was with, at the time, said I always looked the same. I think it's fun, exciting, and adds spice by constantly changing one's appearances.

If / when I get my female android it will be a requirement that I can easily change her appearances.

Question for you, does your behavoir change with your different looks? IMO, that would be awesome!

Oh and question 2: I wondered, without women organising little get togethers and double dates, would men ever really go out their way to organise these events? They seem to have a good time, and drift away when it comes time to talk about seeing everyone again, I remember hearing "we'll let the women organise the one". Why do they do that? Is it just normalised gender roles?

No. But, I'm anti-social. However, I still think normal men aren't really into get togethers / double dates unless it with their best / good friend. But, like you said, since they are there they will find fun in it.

 

[Claudia1794]

The trans community have gender dysphoria and I have body dysmorphia which are similar was the link I was trying to make… both feel our outward appearance is incorrect but unlike them I am banned from doing anything to my body by every plastic surgeon in the UK so I have to go abroad. I also feel people see them as becoming their authentic self whilst I am seen as becoming a fake… its no hate to anyone just something I noticed.

Oh, I gotcha.

 

[Cherubino]

I can't process long questions

 

[user15010]

Okay men... change of pace from the girl with the round face... would you find a woman that constantly changes her look off putting? This question is close to home because I am forever changing up my look, with make up, wearing different colour hair extensions, contact lenses (I wear contact lenses soo much my eyes are getting damaged, pray I find out more results on laser eye colour change) countless procedures, non surgical so theres no real permanent damage but sometimes I have been injured for months on the pursuit of prettiness. (My word play is unmatched! I joke... I joke... kinda?) Anywho... with all the make up debates, I wondered, what about the extreme side of it, the body dysmorphic side, could you support a partner going through this, would it make you love her any less? Do tell!

Oh and question 2: I wondered, without women organising little get togethers and double dates, would men ever really go out their way to organise these events? They seem to have a good time, and drift away when it comes time to talk about seeing everyone again, I remember hearing "we'll let the women organise the one". Why do they do that? Is it just normalised gender roles?

Regarding the body dysmorphia, I'm not sure whether or for how long I could be with someone suffering from the acute form of it. As a friend possibly yes, as a partner I'm not sure anymore. Maybe I am not patient enough and really have my own limitations.

Regarding the second question and gender roles, I was brought up in the environment that had the roles blurred. Later, I lived among some strange crowds and it was always about who was good or natural at something rather than what one gender is supposed to do, or supposedly to do better. Well, men should be equally capable of organising these events. It's obvious, isn't it

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It think that makes a person hotter! Seeing the same person look the same way all the time, even pretty people, gets boring. I've actually been requested to try to change my appearances because the person I was with, at the time, said I always looked the same. I think it's fun, exciting, and adds spice by constantly changing one's appearances.

If / when I get my female android it will be a requirement that I can easily change her appearances.

Question for you, does your behavoir change with your different looks? IMO, that would be awesome!


No. But, I'm anti-social. However, I still think normal men aren't really into get togethers / double dates unless it with their best / good friend. But, like you said, since they are there they will find fun in it.

You are deffo my fave Finished! Yeah very rarely I meet a guy who likes the fact that I alter my appearance a lot, most go on and on about how much it would drive them madddd and some simply dont care as long as they think it looks good.

My behaviour deffo changes, if I feel like “that girl” then I act like i’m "that girl" till the feeling fades and i'm insecure again bloody nut case me!

Double date thing and get togethers is sooo interesting, never knew men hated these things or didnt really enjoy them. Like still no man has said, what are you talking about woman I organise them all the time lol.

I can't process long questions

Short version: Would you like it if your girlfriend looks like a different woman every week?
Short version: Would you ever organise a double date or leave the organising to your girlfriend?

Regarding the body dysmorphia, I'm not sure whether or for how long I could be with someone suffering from the acute form of it. As a friend possibly yes, as a partner I'm not sure anymore. Maybe I am not patient enough and really have my own limitations.

Regarding the second question and gender roles, I was brought up in the environment that had the roles blurred. Later, I lived among some strange crowds and it was always about who was good or natural at something rather than what one gender is supposed to do, or supposedly to do better. Well, men should be equally capable of organising these events. It's obvious, isn't it

That’s interesting, I don't think you are alone in that, any health complications put most men off statistically. Like I was recently reading one that said when divorce is initiated in heterosexual marriages after a cancer diagnosis something like 93% are male initiated (which is shocking as men rarely initiate divorce). Obviously, theres other factors but statistically men only want healthy women. Hence why I am honest about my issues, because for the right man I'd support him with his. If my future husband ever ended up in a wheelchair, or even brain damaged like myself, I'd stay, statistically he wouldn't do the same for me. Sucks. But nice when they are honest about it lol

I feel like men are equally able but they just don't, like i’ve never ever known a man to be head organiser of a double date lol but i'm from the UK so not sure if its just a cultural thing or what.

 

[Cherubino]

Would you like it if your girlfriend looks like a different woman every week?
yeah it would be interesting but not mandatory in any way

Would you ever organise a double date or leave the organising to your girlfriend?
no, double dates suck double