Questions for the Men

[CenotaphGirl]

You men are all nasty

Right lads…I have a question on limits and boundaries!

If a man lets a woman get away with everything, even throwing drink on him, publicly belittling him… swearing and insulting him… like she tests the limits there seems to be none, he just never stands up to her… he just keeps wanting to be a couple… should she leave him for his own good? Why would a man act like this?

 

[user 135671]

It's emotional abuse and defo needs to end. Why would a man ( or woman ) act like this? When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victim may lose their entire sense of self. Over time, the verbal abuse, belittling and name calling erode a victim's sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. The victim may begin to agree with the abuser and become internally critical. Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else.

 

[TheRealCallie]

It's emotional abuse and defo needs to end. Why would a man ( or woman ) act like this? When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victim may lose their entire sense of self. Over time, the verbal abuse, belittling and name calling erode a victim's sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. The victim may begin to agree with the abuser and become internally critical. Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else.

Yep, that's precisely how I came to be on this forum.

 

[TogetherAlone]

You men are all nasty

Right lads…I have a question on limits and boundaries!

If a man lets a woman get away with everything, even throwing drink on him, publicly belittling him… swearing and insulting him… like she tests the limits there seems to be none, he just never stands up to her… he just keeps wanting to be a couple… should she leave him for his own good? Why would a man act like this?

She seriously needs to re-evalute how she deals or acts with people, the guy should leave for his own wellbeing and safety. also not sure I like how you phrased this question, cos like if someone's abusing someone they obviously don't care about the feelings of the abused yet you frame it like it's the abused fault and it should be down to the abusers decision to spare them.

**** abusers tbh if you feel like you're ever going to be emotionally abusive to anyone do yourself a favour and don't even consider getting into a relationship.

Man that was a kinda angry post sorry

 

[Macsimum Myers]

Well you guys are all a little too squeaky clean and non judgemental to me… so im gonna turn up the heat…

Would you judge a woman that has some really embarrassing videos out there? Like she likes you, wants to be with you but she has got some videos on the internet that were intimate and shouldn't have been shared in all honesty… would you be able to look past that or would you just not wanna be with her due to your.. pride? Shame? Disgust?

I always wondered lolz

Of course.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

You men are all nasty

Right lads…I have a question on limits and boundaries!

If a man lets a woman get away with everything, even throwing drink on him, publicly belittling him… swearing and insulting him… like she tests the limits there seems to be none, he just never stands up to her… he just keeps wanting to be a couple… should she leave him for his own good? Why would a man act like this?

I agree with randomguy, that's pretty abusive.
Some guys will take it though, some have fetishes for that kind of stuff, etc.

I don't like confrontation, but I like getting steamrolled even less.
I put up with emotional abuse from a long-term relationship in my late teens and early 20s, but that was because I was naive, young, and didn't understand women as well as I do now.

I'm oddly still friends with her. Distant friends. I think the difference is that psychologically I kept growing, and she didn't. So I'm in this weird situation where I've become more mature and more educated, but she's the one that went to college.

The man she eventually cheated on me with and left me for, later also cheated on her with multiple men, and told her about it one Christmas day. She didn't leave him for it. And that's the thing:

Abusive people, often either come from, or end up in, abusive situations in which they're abused. It's actually more of a difficult behavior to correct than you'd think. That's similarly how you end up with abusive parents, usually their parents were abusive to them, etc.

It's also entirely possible that a man could be submissive and just into that kind of thing. I can't say that doesn't happen because that does happen, but more often times than not, it's just because he's still got his emotional innocence to him.

Emotional innocence for a man, is entirely based on what we're taught about love in our childhood. And the biggest trouble with this, is that as adults, it tends to not be applicable. More or less, Disney love stories for children, sadly mislead a lot of people because human nature is different than social conditioning, which is where most relationships fall apart.

 

[TheRealCallie]

For all those being sad at my post. Don't be. It was the past and it made me who I am today and I wouldn't change that. Also, I've made some truly great friends here, so I'm glad I came here too.

 

[Seadog63]

We have all done things we regret. Luckily there was no internet when I was younger.

 

[Adamridge79]

Oh God...the internet and it's ******** back then? That would have been problematic

 

[Adamridge79]

Do you remember when there were like, 5 chat rooms, and no one thinking 'hey, people will behave'? Wild ****

 

[CenotaphGirl]

She seriously needs to re-evalute how she deals or acts with people, the guy should leave for his own wellbeing and safety. also not sure I like how you phrased this question, cos like if someone's abusing someone they obviously don't care about the feelings of the abused yet you frame it like it's the abused fault and it should be down to the abusers decision to spare them.

**** abusers tbh if you feel like you're ever going to be emotionally abusive to anyone do yourself a favour and don't even consider getting into a relationship.

Man that was a kinda angry post sorry

Awh its a touchy subject I understand

Honestly my brother acts like this with alllll women, I wasnt really going down the abuse route. I’d say he just acts like women should be allowed to walk all over him, I joked with him once about him doing something wrong and he clearly didnt he immediately started to say sorry and i was like wow he has slight learning difficulties though

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Awh its a touchy subject I understand

Honestly my brother acts like this with alllll women, I wasnt really going down the abuse route. I’d say he just acts like women should be allowed to walk all over him, I joked with him once about him doing something wrong and he clearly didnt he immediately started to say sorry and i was like wow he has slight learning difficulties though

It isn't learning difficulties, it's social conditioning and indoctrination. Humans are initially products of their environments. Thereafter and with mild growth they develop into social conditioning.

It's really not that difficult to understand.
Men that either lack a father figure or are raised in a matriarchal family will be masculinity stunted because of their childhood in a very similar way to a way that women who lack a mother figure or are raised in a patriarchal family will be femininely stunted because of their childhood.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

It isn't learning difficulties, it's social conditioning and indoctrination. Humans are initially products of their environments. Thereafter and with mild growth they develop into social conditioning.

It's really not that difficult to understand.
Men that either lack a father figure or are raised in a matriarchal family will be masculinity stunted because of their childhood in a very similar way to a way that women who lack a mother figure or are raised in a patriarchal family will be femininely stunted because of their childhood.

Hmm thats interesting my brother wasnt lacking a father figure or raised in a matriarchal family so no idea what his deal is. Even my dad used to think it was strange

 

[Finished]

Men should act like men and women should act like women. When men try to be caring, thoughful, and understand that's when they start having problems. The Alpha males do well.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Men should act like men and women should act like women. When men try to be caring, thoughful, and understand that's when they start having problems. The Alpha males do well.

What should he do if he cant be alpha? Like he wasn't born with the tools to be an alpha male?

 

[Finished]

If I had that answer I wouldn't be on this site I would be married and have a life. But, I need to try and figure out if I can change and become more of a man. Maybe I can share that with other men on this site unless it's too late for them.

All my life it's been drilled into my head to care about others, do the right thing, think how others feels, talk about my problems, support other people, help other people, etc, etc, etc. But, it's gotten me right to the bottem. That's what women are supposed to do not men.

I remember taking the blame for something another guy did at work because I didn't want him to loose his job because he had a family. I thought how could they eat, live, etc? I knew I could get by. What the hell was I thinking? I should have told management and then denied it to everybody else. That's how one gets ahead. That's what the alpha male does.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If I had that answer I wouldn't be on this site I would be married and have a life. But, I need to try and figure out if I can change and become more of a man. Maybe I can share that with other men on this site unless it's too late for them.

All my life it's been drilled into my head to care about others, do the right thing, think how others feels, talk about my problems, support other people, help other people, etc, etc, etc. But, it's gotten me right to the bottem. That's what women are supposed to do not men.

I remember taking the blame for something another guy did at work because I didn't want him to loose his job because he had a family. I thought how could they eat, live, etc? I knew I could get by. What the hell was I thinking? I should have told management and then denied it to everybody else. That's how one gets ahead. That's what the alpha male does.

Awh Finished! "more of a man"... you are a man. To be honest I have friends who are... alpha women... if someone said I had to be that... to get what I want in life, I'd die laughing... I cant do it. I'm more of a woman than anyone that would dare question my woman hood... and thats that.

 

[Finished]

Awh Finished! "more of a man"... you are a man. To be honest I have friends who are... alpha women... if someone said I had to be that... to get what I want in life, I'd die laughing... I cant do it. I'm more of a woman than anyone that would dare question my woman hood... and thats that.

Thank you. But, even after I got into the fist fight with the neighbor's worker I immediately thought of how that might effect him. Maybe I should allow him to block my entrance and exit to my own property. Then I started to feel dread for fighting with him even though he totally deserved it. I should have felt good about fighting with him and putting him in his place. But, I didn't. Sure, I make it look that way on the outside. But, inside it's a different story. I need to change the inside to match the outside.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Thank you. But, even after I got into the fist fight with the neighbor's worker I immediately thought of how that might effect him. Maybe I should allow him to block my entrance and exit to my own property. Then I started to feel dread for fighting with him even though he totally deserved it. I should have felt good about fighting with him and putting him in his place. But, I didn't. Sure, I make it look that way on the outside. But, inside it's a different story. I need to change the inside to match the outside.

To be safe, we all have to swivel the outside to match the situations we land in. What makes you strong, is not letting it change you on the inside.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Omg sorry I have a question, if your partner stopped washing and all personal hygiene what would you do?