Questions for the Women

[Naleena]

Why is it that most women fall for the outlaw, badboy, cares more about how their hair looks than your feelings type guys? Knowing you will be cast aside when a new (toy) comes along. I see these guys treat a woman like **** and then watch the woman cry like a baby when she is cast aside.
Only then will she "settle" for a guy like most of us here, the loving, caring, want to spoil you but not too pleasing to the eyes type.

Why are we always last when you say we offer what you want?

*Ghost shaves Fabio's head in his sleep*

Hiya Ghost!!! No, you did not kill the thread, just got a slow reply. That's all...lol Why do women like bad boys. I guess there are a number of reasons. For some of them it has to do with the chase. You know, that old you want what you can't have attitude? Now as far as how I am, a man with an attitude like that I wouldn't give the time of day to. All that you mentioned (long hair, aside) is a real turn off to me. I don't want a selfish, selfcentered man for me- doesnt matter how he looks. I think women wise up, not settle when they learn how it is to be with someone like that. I'm not gonna lie to you. Yeah, it's nice to be with someone that's attractive. You know you guys are the same way....lol But when it comes down to it, it's only a scratch in the surface as far as what really counts in a relationship.

Not all women are like the ones you asked about. Some actually want a MEANINGFUL relationship. If it's any consolation, those bad boys will end up loosing thier looks as they get older and if they don't change thier ways, will still be bad, arrogant, immature selfish "boys." So who is gonna want them then?

Have faith, Ghost. Everyone has someone for them, it's just a matter of meeting and being prepared.

Rule# 508 Karma can and will bite bad boys in the *** and the women who want them. Your **** will ALWAYS come back to you. : )

 

[Naleena]

Hey Romie!
Nice to see you around! You brought up some very good points. I didn't think about the challange to change a bad boy. I think guys get like that too when they try to "save" the damsel in distress.
Wonder what makes us like that sometimes? Thanks for replying. It's nice to see another woman answer these questions!

See ya around, girlie!

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

Thanks. I guess that can go both ways.
A guy hooks up with a beautiful little tramp that sleeps around and thinks she will settle down now that she's with him. But then acts suprised when she cheats.

I still think marriage should be like a baseball contract. after 3 or 4 years you renegotiate the contract and if you can't work it out, you become a free agent.

 

[ClosetGeek]

Why is it that most women fall for the outlaw, badboy, cares more about how their hair looks than your feelings type guys? Knowing you will be cast aside when a new (toy) comes along. I see these guys treat a woman like **** and then watch the woman cry like a baby when she is cast aside.

I'll help you out with this question. Men want a lot of *** but women want that too. Our society has this thing that women want family, children..... all that baloney. Women know that they will get more *** out of which guy? The bad boy or the nice guy? 99% of the women have the notion that they will get more *** out of a bad guy. Women tend to get clingy after having ***, mostly because our society tells us that women need to settle down and have children. (In contrast to men scoring all holes and becoming a respected playboy figure) So these women who are sticking around bad boys are hoping and wishing that the bad boy will become an available partner, which he never does.

 

[Naleena]

Thanks. I guess that can go both ways.
A guy hooks up with a beautiful little tramp that sleeps around and thinks she will settle down now that she's with him. But then acts suprised when she cheats.

I still think marriage should be like a baseball contract. after 3 or 4 years you renegotiate the contract and if you can't work it out, you become a free agent.

There is a tradition called handfasting. If ever I was serious with a man, I would rather do this than traditional marriage. : )
Here's some info on it. Look below the pictures. Wonder if I could get my future man to wear some cool ceremonial clothes. Man, That's sexy! Makes a girl want to go straight to the honey moon! **winks**

Woo whoo! Doesn't that look fun? **giggles**

"Mmmmm. You look so hot in that. All I want to do right now is ...."


http://www.handfasting.info/

 

[Lonesome Crow]

sweet...naleee

On the last pic...How much you wanna bet her hands are really bussi

 

[Naleena]

sweet...naleee

On the last pic...How much you wanna bet her hands are really bussi

Maybe that's why he's smiling? RFLMAO!!!

 

[GHOSTNYOURMIST]

I'm sorry Neleena but I don't understand about the clothing, That's the way I dress everyday. That is when I'm not wearing my retro Michael Jackson zippered jacket and glove . But I'm more into the Adam Ant look. Remember him?

Lonesome Crow Wrote:
sweet...naleee

On the last pic...How much you wanna bet her hands are really bussi

Maybe that's why he's smiling? RFLMAO!!!

Thats why they call it. "Hand fasting".

 

[Logos]

Ghost asked some good questions. And thanks, ladies, for your insightful answers.

It's still frustrating watching women, many of whom are lovely and intelligent and whom we would love to date, go for jerks... and it's a little painful to think that we of the decent mold will only become viable options once the bad boy fascination is over.

ClosetGeek brought up the notion of ***--and the perception that bad boys are more interested in it--earlier and I think that's really an important point. Maybe we "nice guy" ourselves right out of the running. But here's the secret that many people seem to miss out on... the good guys like *** too. We just won't treat a woman like an object. Yet somehow that translates into ineligibility. It ends up feeling rather emasculating.

So, what to do? Compromise your principles and get in the running or stick to them and be cast as a leftover?

Personally, I'm sticking to them. I like to think of it like Thanksgiving dinner... sure it's nice when it's all fresh, but everyone knows that the leftovers are the best part. They are appreciated longer and are far more versatile in the ways they can make you happy.

Or at least that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night...

So ladies, here's a question. You're at a pub, library, park, whatever... someplace where a guy sees you and thinks you are lovely and charming and the kind of woman he'd like to get to know, maybe you've even smiled at each other... In the best of all possible worlds, how does he approach you to get a conversation started?

Looking forward to your always thoughtful replies

Logos

 

[samba101]

Wow if only that would happen in real life ........... okay so I'm going to picture this. All he needs is a warm smile and a nice attitude, confidence within himself.

 

[davechaos]

Don't forget though lads you can actually help yourselves in many ways...I am sure that confidence is a major factor for a lot of woman. I think that often we return back to our caveman tendencies...I think that quite often women don't want to be the hard, be in control of everything type of person...they would actually like someone to take a lot of that away for them...so confidence is important.

Honesty and truthfullness...now lads this doesn't mean that if you are having a bad time of things that you explain this in detail...you don't...you put that behind you and talk honestly and truthfully about the positives in your life, not the negatives...and if there are no positives then find them...they are there somewhere. I am sure that a lot of women hate liars and they hate cheats...and if you lie then what kind of precedent are you setting for the rest of your relationship.

Independence....ha ha...the big one for me...and lads this is what I meant about you being able to help yourself. I think the days of spending all the time with each other when you are not working have gone. There has to be some distance between...there has to be some independence. Now don't get me wrong...this can be incredibly difficult at times...I am in that place right now. The love of my life has gone on holiday and I miss her dreadfully...but she will be back soon. There is never any...'you haven't seen me today...what's wrong?'...there is no...'please don't go...I will miss you too much.' I know that we both have to have some independence...yes we love each other to pieces but we are not willing to strangle ourselves.

There are many ways that we can get independence but it is very difficult and it can be very painful. I am going through counselling and this has helped. In the last five weeks I have been to the cinema a couple of times, on my own, I have been to play like 10 rounds of golf, on my own, I play football a couple of times a week, with others but no socialising, so effectively on my own. I have visited a couple of museums and places, and god this is really difficult, but have done so on my own. Sometimes you really want to share a thought or an idea with someone who isn't there and that can be a crazy situation...but you can do it.

Don't get me wrong...that last paragraph makes me sound like I have lots going on in my life...but I still don't have a local friend that I can call upon and go out with from time to time...and I am guessing that for many of us we would be in the same boat. My best friend lives across the pond and I catch up with her when I can.

Finally lads...smile...love yourself...cause if you don't love yourself, then you have to ask yourself whether anyone else would really want to.

 

[Steel]

There is a tradition called handfasting. If ever I was serious with a man, I would rather do this than traditional marriage. : )
Here's some info on it. Look below the pictures. Wonder if I could get my future man to wear some cool ceremonial clothes. Man, That's sexy! Makes a girl want to go straight to the honey moon! **winks**

Now, this is my idea for a wedding party look!

Handfasting is also a legal Pagan wedding ceremony in Scotland (but not the rest of the UK).

As far as marriage of any kind goes, I'm not anti it, but I'm going to make damn sure before I do that its to someone I could envision spending an awful lot of time with. Even with the best of intentions a couple may grow apart... I don't believe this happens every time, but neither do I believe a couple should feel bad when if it does.

 

[Naleena]

So ladies, here's a question. You're at a pub, library, park, whatever... someplace where a guy sees you and thinks you are lovely and charming and the kind of woman he'd like to get to know, maybe you've even smiled at each other... In the best of all possible worlds, how does he approach you to get a conversation started?

Looking forward to your always thoughtful replies

Logos

Well, I always start a conversation by commenting on something. So if I guy just makes a comment, that will work. For example, he can comment on something around us or if I am doing something he can comment on it....lol What ever you do, don't start off with "I think your beautiful" or something like that because for me, it's a turn off...lol
I'm like, "Oh god, he's coming onto me." It feels intrusive because he hasn't given me a chance to interact with him. But if a guy starts talking to me and I find him interesting and the conversation is going well, THEN he can give me a compliment...lol I'm a bit weird though. I don't think like most women. This might not work for others.

 

[Naleena]

I think that quite often women don't want to be the hard, be in control of everything type of person...they would actually like someone to take a lot of that away for them...so confidence is important.

Yes, yes, YES!!! YES!!! Especially when you take me out. I will say me because I will not talk for the rest of the women. I like to not worry about things. I like a man who has an imagination and can make plans...lol If you need me to, I will give you some ideas ahead of time. When you ask me where do I want to go to eat, if I say I don't care, please don't keep asking. Just pick a spot because it really doesn't matter....lol My bf used to drive me up the wall because I had to make ALL the plans. He couldn't decide anything for himself. And a lot of times when I would tell him what I wanted he would say he didnt want to do that. THEN ask me again what I wanted to do! We would go through that until he was pleased with my choice. Aaaaahhhgggggggg!!!!

Fellows, please open the doors for us. We, or at least I, really like that. It's nice when you bring flowers on the first date but, it says much more when you bring them on the tenth date. Don't forget to keep romance alive. It's so easy to get lazy in a relationship. Everyone needs to feel valued. Say I love you when your in a relationship that has progressed. Just because a woman knows you love her, doesn't mean she doesn't NEED to hear that. Do small, kind things for her. You don't have to spend money. Be mindful to show her you care in the everyday stuff. Say thank you when she goes out of her way for you. I remember my bf calling me at work. I had been there since 7pm and I got off of work at 5am to take him to the emergency room. He had pulled a muscle weight lifting and wasn't able to sleep. I went to his house, helped him into the car, sat with him for hours in the emergency room and took him home and got him comfortable. I left out to get his medicine at the phamacy and bought groceries to make him something to eat. Long story short, I was wore out at the end of the day from no sleep and I tended to him hand and foot all day and I went to ask him a question and he bit my head off!
So don't assume she owes you anything, not even her time. Be greatful. And when your an ***, appologize. I don't know how I went from not having to worry about things to this but, I'll get off my soap box now.

 

[Logos]

Well, I always start a conversation by commenting on something. So if I guy just makes a comment, that will work. For example, he can comment on something around us or if I am doing something he can comment on it....lol What ever you do, don't start off with "I think your beautiful" or something like that because for me, it's a turn off...

Thanks Naleena, that makes a lot of sense. I'm admittedly something of a ham, especially when I'm nervous. I use up all my confidence saying 'hi,' after that I'm all stumbling nerves and bumbling words, so I probably have a tendency to dish out compliments too quickly... I mean well, but I can see how that could be easily misconstrued as an outright & unwanted come-on.

So maybe next time I'll start by asking what kind of dog she's walking, first making very sure that she is in fact walking a dog. Because if she's not, that would just be awkward

 

[Naleena]

Even with the best of intentions a couple may grow apart... I don't believe this happens every time, but neither do I believe a couple should feel bad when if it does.

I agree. It's better to go into something knowing that nothing is permanent. No one should feel bad when they grow apart. It's life.
And no use hanging onto each other if your miserable. That's why the year and day is so appealing. I think it keeps couples on thier toes and reminds them that the relationship they are in is temporary and that they do not " have papers" on the other person....lol
Besides, divorces are too messy to fool with.

 

[davechaos]

And yes folks divorces are way too messy to deal with...and in my case very very expensive.

Seriously though...treat someone as you would want to be treated yourself. That way you can never say that you have let anyone down...and you can always be honest to yourself.

 

[Naleena]

Ladies, a few questions for you.


1. Is it ok for your man to be flirty as long as he is faithful?

2. Another woman is flirting inappropriately with a man you are exclusive with. What do you do?

3. What do you do to let a man know you are interested in him?

 

[Sanal]

I believe everybody saw cg's thread "if you are a guy and"... If you have not, this is the thread.

you happen to be at some social event, and you run into this interesting woman, whom you have been watching for a while and you finally get your chance to talk to her. Everything is going smooth, she is showing interest in the conversation that is taking place. Suddenly the door opens and three extremely handsome and attractive men walk in. They come over to the woman you are talking to and you suddenly feel that you don't have her attention anymore. They circle around that woman, talk to her and go into another topic.

As a man, what would you?

a) Leave
b) Try to walk up to that woman again and fight for her attention and compete with the other men

Okay now.. Imagine the girl is you..

I wanna ask every women.. Would you prefer a guy who leaves or a guy who try to walk up to that women again and fight?

 

[Unacceptance]

I wanna ask every women.. Would you prefer a guy who leaves or a guy who try to walk up to that women again and fight?

Well I'm not sure very many woman are going to want a guy who goes and starts brawling with them.

Though the cops get called often enough here for domestics so maybe they do...