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VPrince said:
duff said:
VPrince said:
duff said:
VPrince said:
How well are the conversations going? Is she laughing at your jokes? Are you being flirty with a sexual subtext or just friendly? Are you agreeing with her too much or do you have your own opinions about issues?

If you like her, maybe you can just casually sneak that in somehow. Talk about latest fashion and how downhill it's going and ask her what she likes to wear. Then maybe you can talk about what you think would look hot on her, then joke about it if she takes you seriously. In the end ask her if she wants to get something to eat. I don't know about you, but long conversations like this make me hungry.

I'm joking of course, but you should be able to tell what she thinks of you from how the conversation is going. Every girl is different so I don't think any one girl on here can tell you what exactly happened in that situation.

i'm good at conversations.

The way I see it is: some people are too polite not to talk to a person who is talking to them. They won't walk away. They just nod and talk and more likely can't wait for the person to go away. I have seen men talk to women for ages and when the men goes, the woman laughs to her friends and says 'thank god he's gone'

It's probably happening with me. Or the conversation means nothing to the woman and five minutes later she has forgotten about it. So the next day there is no reason for her to talk to me !

I think the problem is you don't trust yourself enough to be interesting. Another thing is you have to be able to read who you are talking to. If the conversation seems kind of one sided (from your side), or she's constantly looking somewhere else, or you just get the feeling shes just not that into you. Move on. If she doesn't find you interesting its probably a sign that you guys aren't a good fit, so do yourself a favor and find someone you'd enjoy being with and who'd enjoy being with you.

I'm learning this lesson the hard way with job searching right now seeing as I have a less than stellar academic record and little work experience. For every 100 resumes you send out, you get 1 interview. Then you nail that interview. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Just suck it up, go for drinks, jack off, do whatever it takes to get chemically balanced after the rejection and get started sending out 100 more resumes--cuz like it or not you're back to square one.

I'm not really sure what I was trying to say there, I guess I just starting ranting about my problems..lol

The bottomline is not everyone is going to want you, so you just have to keep drudging on until you get to the light at the end of the tunnel. And don't worry if she does end of laughing after your conversation or not, only the stupid ones laugh (I know this from experience). If a girl rejects you for not being good enough, just think how messed up she'll be after some "alpha male" ******* is done with her. (is the cynic in me coming through? :D)

yes your probably right but I have seen some women smile, laugh and talk back to men before calling **** out of them when they go.

Some women are better to talk to than others. I work as a cashier so I am good at judging whether someone is easy to talk to or not.

I am so different at work. I talk non stop. But away from work I am very quiet. I think when I'm at work, I have my work clothes on so people notice me. I am a 'somebody' - away from work I just don't get noticed. I am a 'nobody'

I am actually very good at talking and conversation. I just don't get the chance !

Someone here suggested taking up a hobby if I wanted to meet girls, and it makes sense. Personally I don't want to meet someone in a weird and creepy way. I feel no matter how good our conversation was, if there is no chance for us to meet again then neither of us really have a reason to think of the other as nothing more than a nice person. You see what I'm saying? You just need to find a way for people to see you differently, and showing off your talents is probably the best way to woo someone.

What are you good at or interested in doing?

my talents ?

playing golf and that's about it !

I can't ever recall striking up a conversation with a woman away from work. Apart from women who work in shops etc.
 
duff said:
I can't ever recall striking up a conversation with a woman away from work. Apart from women who work in shops etc.

Well, we need to change that. Come on, are you really saying that there is nothing else in the world you want to be doing other than golf? Not even the things you kind of found interesting in the past that you just didn't have the time for? How about learning a new language. I know I've always wanted to finish learning French, and maybe throw in some Italian as well. How about dancing, ballroom or even clubbing. Maybe it's time to buckle up and lose a couple of pounds at the gym, and gyms usually offer cardio and fitness classes that definitely co-ed. Hot tip: there are many ladies that do yoga classes, so even if you don't like it--it's something to keep in mind.

There has to be something more than golf. Once you know, then you just find ways to maximize your interaction with the female kind.
 
VPrince said:
duff said:
I can't ever recall striking up a conversation with a woman away from work. Apart from women who work in shops etc.

Well, we need to change that. Come on, are you really saying that there is nothing else in the world you want to be doing other than golf? Not even the things you kind of found interesting in the past that you just didn't have the time for? How about learning a new language. I know I've always wanted to finish learning French, and maybe throw in some Italian as well. How about dancing, ballroom or even clubbing. Maybe it's time to buckle up and lose a couple of pounds at the gym, and gyms usually offer cardio and fitness classes that definitely co-ed. Hot tip: there are many ladies that do yoga classes, so even if you don't like it--it's something to keep in mind.

There has to be something more than golf. Once you know, then you just find ways to maximize your interaction with the female kind.

no I'm saying I have done things and never really spoken to women. I went to the gym a few years ago. I went to classes, all sorts, computing, short story writing. Didn't meet anybody. I remember during this journalism course I really made the effort to talk to this lass. She never came to another class after that.

I'm interested in photography now. I'm going to do some travelling. Ive been to a couple of places, spent the whole day taking photo's. Never spoke to anyone all day.

I'm interested in music, bought a guitar in my 20's. I just played the bloody thing in my bedroom before I got fed up. I bought a piano a few years ago. Same thing.

I hate dancing by the way. I am a quiet, solitary person. At work it's like I'm acting, I suddenly become a different person. If you can imagine a really loud person working in a shop that everbody knows.
 
duff said:
VPrince said:
duff said:
I can't ever recall striking up a conversation with a woman away from work. Apart from women who work in shops etc.

Well, we need to change that. Come on, are you really saying that there is nothing else in the world you want to be doing other than golf? Not even the things you kind of found interesting in the past that you just didn't have the time for? How about learning a new language. I know I've always wanted to finish learning French, and maybe throw in some Italian as well. How about dancing, ballroom or even clubbing. Maybe it's time to buckle up and lose a couple of pounds at the gym, and gyms usually offer cardio and fitness classes that definitely co-ed. Hot tip: there are many ladies that do yoga classes, so even if you don't like it--it's something to keep in mind.

There has to be something more than golf. Once you know, then you just find ways to maximize your interaction with the female kind.

no I'm saying I have done things and never really spoken to women. I went to the gym a few years ago. I went to classes, all sorts, computing, short story writing. Didn't meet anybody. I remember during this journalism course I really made the effort to talk to this lass. She never came to another class after that.

I'm interested in photography now. I'm going to do some travelling. Ive been to a couple of places, spent the whole day taking photo's. Never spoke to anyone all day.

I'm interested in music, bought a guitar in my 20's. I just played the bloody thing in my bedroom before I got fed up. I bought a piano a few years ago. Same thing.

I hate dancing by the way. I am a quiet, solitary person. At work it's like I'm acting, I suddenly become a different person. If you can imagine a really loud person working in a shop that everbody knows.

Is there anyone interesting in your place of work with whom you can have a conversation? And if you really can't find anyone to talk to, maybe you can find out if your place has speed dating events nearby. It's really an interesting way of meeting someone, and since you know that everyone is there to have a conversation the women will be more receptive to you. If you're afraid she'll laugh at you afterwards, don't worry since I'm sure she'll probably find someone extremely shy and tactless there to make fun of.

If not, there's always online dating. :p
 
VPrince said:
duff said:
VPrince said:
duff said:
I can't ever recall striking up a conversation with a woman away from work. Apart from women who work in shops etc.

Well, we need to change that. Come on, are you really saying that there is nothing else in the world you want to be doing other than golf? Not even the things you kind of found interesting in the past that you just didn't have the time for? How about learning a new language. I know I've always wanted to finish learning French, and maybe throw in some Italian as well. How about dancing, ballroom or even clubbing. Maybe it's time to buckle up and lose a couple of pounds at the gym, and gyms usually offer cardio and fitness classes that definitely co-ed. Hot tip: there are many ladies that do yoga classes, so even if you don't like it--it's something to keep in mind.

There has to be something more than golf. Once you know, then you just find ways to maximize your interaction with the female kind.

no I'm saying I have done things and never really spoken to women. I went to the gym a few years ago. I went to classes, all sorts, computing, short story writing. Didn't meet anybody. I remember during this journalism course I really made the effort to talk to this lass. She never came to another class after that.

I'm interested in photography now. I'm going to do some travelling. Ive been to a couple of places, spent the whole day taking photo's. Never spoke to anyone all day.

I'm interested in music, bought a guitar in my 20's. I just played the bloody thing in my bedroom before I got fed up. I bought a piano a few years ago. Same thing.

I hate dancing by the way. I am a quiet, solitary person. At work it's like I'm acting, I suddenly become a different person. If you can imagine a really loud person working in a shop that everbody knows.

Is there anyone interesting in your place of work with whom you can have a conversation? And if you really can't find anyone to talk to, maybe you can find out if your place has speed dating events nearby. It's really an interesting way of meeting someone, and since you know that everyone is there to have a conversation the women will be more receptive to you. If you're afraid she'll laugh at you afterwards, don't worry since I'm sure she'll probably find someone extremely shy and tactless there to make fun of.

If not, there's always online dating. :p

i work with women mostly. I get on with them to a certain extent. I don't meet up outside of work, they all drink and I don't. I chit chat with about a million women customers but that's all it is.

Speed dating sounds awfull. I would be competeing with men better than me, it would be a waste of time.

Online dating is terrible. I had an experience last year were I got scammed out of some money by this russian. Never again !

Thanks anyway for your kind words !
 
duff said:
i work with women mostly. I get on with them to a certain extent. I don't meet up outside of work, they all drink and I don't.

May I suggest you start?

I'm not saying get wasted every other day but if they all partake of the occasional after-work bacardi breezer why not join them?
 
Or just order juice- I did it for years and got nothing but respect. And the occasional request for a lift home :)
 
jzinsky said:
duff said:
i work with women mostly. I get on with them to a certain extent. I don't meet up outside of work, they all drink and I don't.

May I suggest you start?

I'm not saying get wasted every other day but if they all partake of the occasional after-work bacardi breezer why not join them?

no I don't like getting drunk or having a fuzzy head.
And you simply can't not drink when you go out with people who do. That is what I have experienced anyway.


EveWasFramed said:
WildernessWildChild said:
Or just order juice- I did it for years and got nothing but respect. And the occasional request for a lift home :)

+1

the last date I went on, she ordered wine and I said 'coke' and she made fun of me so I changed it to a beer. Only drank half of it and she complained about that. (she was a **** though ! :D)

You don't get respect if you don't drink where I come from. It's probably alot different to other places in the world. Your a oddball !

I can't drive either.
 
duff, I know I don't know the circumstances of your life--and there could very well be a good reason for you doing the things you're doing--but you only life once man. So if you're unhappy with your current girl situation, it may be time for a change. I can't tell you what that change is, only you can decide. But if you feel happy with what's going on in your life, maybe you're just one of those guys who doesn't need a girl and you can keep doing what you're doing. Just don't convince yourself you're happy just because you're afraid to meet someone who could be your special someone for the rest of your life.



Just to change the topic a bit, these are somethings I've always wanted to know:

1) GIRLS: What does it mean when a girl catches me looking at her, when she doing something like working or studying, and quickly looks away? Is she blushing, or does she think I'm a creep? (fyi, I don't just stare at her for 10 minutes or something, sometimes I can't help it as my eyes wander around the room and I find myself unconsciously looking at a girl for 30 seconds or something)

2) GIRLS: What does it mean when I find a girl is looking at me as I walk across the room, or as I'm talking to one of my other friends nearby? Sometimes it's even a group of girls.

I've noticed these things a lot, but I never really paid much attention to them since I don't even know the girls that do these things. What the hell do I do in these situations, smile at them? (that'll really make me look like a creep. But it'll probably be worth doing just to see their reaction. lol)
 
VPrince said:
1) GIRLS: What does it mean when a girl catches me looking at her, when she doing something like working or studying, and quickly looks away? Is she blushing, or does she think I'm a creep? (fyi, I don't just stare at her for 10 minutes or something, sometimes I can't help it as my eyes wander around the room and I find myself unconsciously looking at a girl for 30 seconds or something)

If she is blushing, you could probably see? Sometimes it's really nothing and she is just going on with what she's doing. It's hard to tell unless you observe her body language and describe it more to us?

VPrince said:
2) GIRLS: What does it mean when I find a girl is looking at me as I walk across the room, or as I'm talking to one of my other friends nearby? Sometimes it's even a group of girls.

I've noticed these things a lot, but I never really paid much attention to them since I don't even know the girls that do these things. What the hell do I do in these situations, smile at them? (that'll really make me look like a creep. But it'll probably be worth doing just to see their reaction. lol)

Again, could be anything really. Could be she finds you interesting, look cool, just looking or anything. We'll need more observations to tell exactly what she might be thinking? And I don't see what's wrong with smiling at them. Give a friendly and warm smile, don't think that could ever go wrong.
 
Ok here's my question.

If a girl asks a guy how he's doing in terms of love(life)/relationships out of the blue, but they aren't extremely good friends (the question is a bit too personal for the "type" of friendship), is this a sign or is it just normal curiosity? Obviously it depends on the person, but I still wonder.
 
aspalas said:
Ok here's my question.

If a girl asks a guy how he's doing in terms of love(life)/relationships out of the blue, but they aren't extremely good friends (the question is a bit too personal for the "type" of friendship), is this a sign or is it just normal curiosity? Obviously it depends on the person, but I still wonder.

That^. Depends on the person. If you wanna be more sure.. maybe look out for her body language?
 
What kind of body language should it be? Another note, she's not a very spontaneous girl and I just found it very odd that she asked me this. She seemed a bit tense, I don't really know how to explain but it certainly was not the same as when a good female friend (who certainly doesn't have interest) asks something like this...

This kind of stuff happened to me before and a couple of days ago I figured out that I miss a lot of girls "signs". I've never really thought much of questions like this, but I figured that one of the first things I usually do when I'm interested in someone is to find out if she's in a relationship or dating someone or whatever.
 
VPrince said:
1) GIRLS: What does it mean when a girl catches me looking at her, when she doing something like working or studying, and quickly looks away? Is she blushing, or does she think I'm a creep? (fyi, I don't just stare at her for 10 minutes or something, sometimes I can't help it as my eyes wander around the room and I find myself unconsciously looking at a girl for 30 seconds or something)

2) GIRLS: What does it mean when I find a girl is looking at me as I walk across the room, or as I'm talking to one of my other friends nearby? Sometimes it's even a group of girls.

I've noticed these things a lot, but I never really paid much attention to them since I don't even know the girls that do these things. What the hell do I do in these situations, smile at them? (that'll really make me look like a creep. But it'll probably be worth doing just to see their reaction. lol)

I think people look away because they weren't looking at anything in the first place or, like you, they worry it might be perceived as weird. It's one of those "Oops!" social interactions that make people nervous because it's often accidental.

Your second example might be interest. Smiling isn't creepy. It's a pretty clear human signal for "Hello, I'm friendly."
 
What are some things you do when you flirt with a guy? Body language is one thing, but that's (mostly) subconscious and comes out naturally. I'm more curious about deliberate behavior, when you're trying to let someone know that you're interested.

My apologies if this question has been done before, but to be honest there's a lot of pages to scroll through. :p
 
I playfully make fun of them, I smile, I tilt my head, I run my fingers through my hair, I cross my legs, I move in close, I lean in, I accidentally bump into them or find excuses to touch them. I also caress my collarbone, for some reason. I laugh more. I also feel very nervous and make lots of eye contact. I know that when I'm interested there is no doubting that I am interested. I send out "I want you" vibes pretty loud and clear.
 

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