Rant - Supporting my brother

[ardour]

She did the following:

1) Lied to me for 4 years about not knowing about the will (she was my mothers executor AND had power of attorney AND was hew financial advisor)
2) Put my mother OUT OF HER HOUSE by lying to her about "black mold" and then sold it for $405K and kept the money as she had full power of attorney
3) Reassigned my mother's brokerage accounts to put herself and her rotten kids as beneficiaries. (All tax free accounts - the one crumb she threw me had tax liabilities)
4) Signed documents with the nursing home & doctors to take my mother off meds so she would die faster
5) Wrote the obituary and sent to the newspaper making herself look like a saint

Hell has a special place for that snake.

Betrayal from a sibling is a bitter pill. No doubt she would use her kids as a justification if you confronted her. Similar thing happened to my aunt's ex. His sister had kids, he didn't. She got him to sign away most of his inheritance.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Betrayal from a sibling is a bitter pill. No doubt she would use her kids as a justification if you confronted her. Similar thing happened to my aunt's ex. His sister had kids, he didn't. She got him to sign away most of his inheritance.

You are sooo right I know someone who did exactly that ! Said to my uncle you dont have kids

 

[TheRealCallie]

Well, not really sure how this turned into "omg, he can get a girl, he'll be fine"

That said, it sounds like your brother needs a proper diagnosis and an advocate. Right now, you are acting as his advocate, whether you realize it or not. I would also recommend someone getting power of attorney for (not sure if you have that over there), if you don't already, that way they can help with finances and all that.

I'm not saying this part is true or anything because I don't know him, but I'm wondering if any of it is him playing it up because that's how it always has been. Like maybe if you weren't there, he would actually be fine. Not the giving mates thousands of dollars to eat stuff, that's likely not going to change unless he matures. lol But the rest of it. I actually know a lot of guys like that. I mean, it gets them out of doing stuff they don't want to do, gets people to coddle and baby them....
BUT, that's just a side thought, I would seriously recommend a proper diagnosis and an advocate.

 

[Unsigned]

Betrayal from a sibling is a bitter pill. No doubt she would use her kids as a justification if you confronted her. Similar thing happened to my aunt's ex. His sister had kids, he didn't. She got him to sign away most of his inheritance.

I did confront her.
And yes, she always uses her kids to justify whatever she has done.
I told her that she and her kids were dead to me, and I have had no contact with her since. This was 4.5 years ago.

She's a horrible person. She always has a new "best friend" every year or so. When she meets someone that does more for her, she dumps the previous best friend. She's a user. A parasite.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Well, not really sure how this turned into "omg, he can get a girl, he'll be fine"

That said, it sounds like your brother needs a proper diagnosis and an advocate. Right now, you are acting as his advocate, whether you realize it or not. I would also recommend getting power of attorney for someone (not sure if you have that over there), if you don't already, that way they can help with finances and all that.

I'm not saying this part is true or anything because I don't know him, but I'm wondering if any of it is him playing it up because that's how it always has been. Like maybe if you weren't there, he would actually be fine. Not the giving mates thousands of dollars to eat eat stuff, that's likely not going to change unless he matures. lol But the rest of it. I actually know a lot of guys like that. I mean, it gets them out of doing stuff they don't want to do, get them people to coddle and baby them....
BUT, that's just a side thought, I would seriously recommend a proper diagnosis and an advocate.

Literally starting to think these men think being single is worse than cancer at this point

 

[TheSkaFish]

Literally starting to think these men think being single is worse than cancer at this point

Not worse than cancer, no.

But there's a BIG difference between "not seeing someone at the moment" single, and chronically single.

With women being single is seen more of as a temporary condition, like "I just haven't met the right guy yet".
They're more or less seen as being in control of the situation. They'll end the situation when they feel like it.
With men, it's seen as a personal failing - "YOU are too weak, powerless/ineffectual, and fundamentally, inherently inferior to attract a woman, like even a normal guy". Like if that's you, it means that you just suck too much on a fundamental level which can't be fixed because it's who and what you are, to take control of the situation.

And, you can only do so much hobbies, watch so much TV and movies/listen to so much music/play so much video games, and drink so much booze (and/or smoke so much weed if it applies), before it all just gets stale, it all starts feeling like an empty distraction, just killing time in between going to work (that you're working because...why? just to live a lousy life? you're not getting in motion towards anything better) and you start wanting something else. You start just wanting a normal life, which a romantic relationship is part of.

Being frozen out of the dating game is a sub-normal quality of life/lifestyle, and it makes you feel sub-normal on a fundamental level, inherently. It's like being insulted and humiliated 24/7/365. By extension, it feels like you're frozen out of normal life itself - not even fantasy celebrity life, but just normal life.

And feeling like work and distraction hobbies, is as good as your life is going to get, with no indication it's ever going to improve or that anything you could think or do will work, and no end in sight except the end of your life...that just feels like,"really? This is it, huh? F***..."

People that haven't lived that, really can't relate because they have no frame of reference to know what it's like.
They've never realistically had to face that situation, they're not under threat from it, so it's as unthinkable to them as worrying about an alien invasion.

Not that I think that that's what this thread should be about - it's about your brother and clearly his ability to get girlfriends is not making his life fine. But, I just wanted to explain the feeling.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Not worse than cancer, no.

But, you can only do so much hobbies, watch so much tv and movies/listen to so much music/play so much video games, and drink so much booze (and/or smoke so much weed if it applies), before it all starts feeling like an empty distraction, just killing time in between going to work (that you're working because...why? just to live a lousy life? you're not getting in motion towards anything better) and you start wanting something else - before you start just wanting a normal life, which a romantic relationship is part of.

Being frozen out of the dating game is a sub-normal quality of life/lifestyle, and it makes you feel sub-normal on a fundamental level, inherently. It's like being insulted and humiliated 24/7/365.

And feeling like work and distraction hobbies, is as good as your life is going to get, with no indication it's ever going to improve, and no end in sight except the end of your life...that just feels like,"really? F***..."

People that haven't lived that, really can't relate because they have no frame of reference to know what it's like.

Not that I think that that's what this thread should be about, it's about your brother and clearly his ability to get girlfriends is not making his life fine. But, I just wanted to clarify that point.

Awh Ska I understand trust me, I wish I was always the girl I am today in terms of acceptance, I went to the school dance alone, after bucking up the courage to ask this total heart throb, really bruised my ego. However I never remember feeling this down about it, maybe it comes after countless years?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Awh Ska I understand trust me, I wish I was always the girl I am today in terms of acceptance, I went to the school dance alone, after bucking up the courage to ask this total heart throb, really bruised my ego. However I never remember feeling this down about it, maybe it comes after countless years?

That's cause it was a one-time thing - and not the way it ALWAYS goes for you.

You've had other relationships. You know you can attract someone. You've done it before, and that means you know you can do it again. You know that you know what to do, and that when you are ready to try again, you can have confidence and faith that it will probably happen soon enough.

It's not like a brick wall for you, no results, no improvement, no sign at all that things are getting better at all, no sign at all that anything you think, say, or do is having any effect on the problem in any way, time after time, year after year. The countless years are part of it, but the worse part is the complete lack of indication that anything you're doing is working, or that there is anything you can do to help yourself. I get that feeling like a victim is unattractive especially for men, I get how and why that works, but when you're in this situation you really do feel like a victim of bad luck, like you have no power, because you're naturally inferior. Like again, with the dance guy - it was just that the guy wasn't right for you. It was never that you were inferior. You can have peace of mind that you're not.

And even if you don't want another relationship, that's the thing - it's you deciding, on your own, under your own power, that you don't want one. It's not being forced on you against your will.

And also, if you don't want another relationship, you can still say, "been there, done that". You can cross it off your list with the peace of mind that you've experienced it, you know what it's like, you don't have to worry about missing out anymore.

Again, I'm not yelling at you or blaming you for this. Just trying to explain it as clearly as I can, for anyone who might read this, because people really don't know. Most people don't worry about this that much, and take it for granted that they'll meet someone sometime and everything will be A-OK.

And I know you understand too. That's the thing, I've come to respect your willingness to see things from a perspective outside of your own experiences. Most people in your position wouldn't do that, they would just try to shame you by saying "work harder" while not really believing that you can or that it would make any difference even if you did, or they just double down on arrogance and act like they are just inherently superior beings, and people who don't have it as easy as them should just give up, know their place, and resign themselves to an unrewarding, unsatisfying, unfulfilling life of misery. "Not my problem", "got mine and that's all that matters, f you". This attitude seems like it's only increased lately.

The way that you are NOT like that, and are willing to listen and understand outside of your own perspective, really is a welcome breath of fresh air

 

[TheSkaFish]

Btw, it was bold of you to ask a guy out like that, so props to you there.

A girl asked me out once too. But she wasn't the woman I was looking for, so I declined.
I had to respect her courage though in asking, and I felt like kind of a jerk even though I wasn't mean about it.
And I felt kind of stupid too, like, this could be the only chance I get.
But I just didn't feel she was the person for me, you know?

 

[CenotaphGirl]

That's cause it was a one-time thing - and not the way it ALWAYS goes for you.

You've had other relationships. You know you can attract someone. You've done it before, and that means you know you can do it again. You know that you know what to do, and that when you are ready to try again, you can have confidence and faith that it will probably happen soon enough.

It's not like a brick wall for you, no results, no improvement, no sign at all that things are getting better at all, no sign at all that anything you think, say, or do is having any effect on the problem in any way, time after time, year after year. The countless years are part of it, but the worse part is the complete lack of indication that anything you're doing is working, or that there is anything you can do to help yourself. I get that feeling like a victim is unattractive especially for men, I get how and why that works, but when you're in this situation you really do feel like a victim of bad luck, like you have no power, because you're naturally inferior. Like again, with the dance guy - it was just that the guy wasn't right for you. It was never that you were inferior. You can have peace of mind that you're not.

And even if you don't want another relationship, that's the thing - it's you deciding, on your own, under your own power, that you don't want one. It's not being forced on you against your will.

And also, if you don't want another relationship, you can still say, "been there, done that". You can cross it off your list with the peace of mind that you've experienced it, you know what it's like, you don't have to worry about missing out anymore.

Again, I'm not yelling at you or blaming you for this. Just trying to explain it as clearly as I can, for anyone who might read this, because people really don't know. Most people don't worry about this that much, and take it for granted that they'll meet someone sometime and everything will be A-OK.

And I know you understand too. That's the thing, I've come to respect your willingness to see things from a perspective outside of your own experiences. Most people in your position wouldn't do that, they would just try to shame you by saying "work harder" while not really believing that you can or that it will make any difference even if you did, or they just double down on arrogance and act like they are just inherently superior beings, and people who don't have it as easy as them should just give up, know their place, and resign themselves to an unrewarding, unsatisfying, unfulfilling life of misery. "Not my problem", "got mine and that's all that matters, f you". This attitude seems like it's only increased lately.

The way that you are NOT like that, and are willing to listen and understand outside of your own perspective, really is a welcome breath of fresh air

You know I dont know why people get so... stuck in the mud about views, but maybe because I have been that girl no one wanted, would ask out for a dare, still till this day there is a large percentage who wont date me due to my race alone in the circles and lifestyle I live. Butttt thats a diff topic for a diff day (never lol) anyway I'd never think you'd shout at me Skafishy you seem so chill to me honestly, I do like to see new ways of looking at things, like I mentioned to someone I know a man who told me he wouldn't eat for 2 weeks to take me on an expensive date, and I thought to myself he could starve for a month and I wouldn't go anywhere with him, he cant work harder at attracting me he just sadly has nothing I want and thats okay, I guess there has to be a percentage of men who have nothing almost any woman wants, but I dont know what they are supposed to do. Just be alone? Or will some girls have to take on for the team? Idk... someones gotta date them.

Btw, it was bold of you to ask a guy out like that, so props to you there.

A girl asked me out once too. But she wasn't the woman I was looking for, so I declined.
I had to respect her courage though in asking, and I felt like kind of a jerk even though I wasn't mean about it.
And I felt kind of stupid too, like, this could be the only chance I get.
But I just didn't feel she was the person for me, you know?

To be young and in loveee lol this guy was like everything I wanted and laughed in my face lol to be honest, im happy I have that memory, keeps me grounded.

 

[Unsigned]

Not worse than cancer, no.

But there's a BIG difference between "not seeing someone at the moment" single, and chronically single.

With women being single is seen more of as a temporary condition, like "I just haven't met the right guy yet".
They're more or less seen as being in control of the situation. They'll end the situation when they feel like it.
With men, it's seen as a personal failing - "YOU are too weak, powerless/ineffectual, and fundamentally, inherently inferior to attract a woman, like even a normal guy". Like if that's you, it means that you just suck too much on a fundamental level which can't be fixed because it's who and what you are, to take control of the situation.

And, you can only do so much hobbies, watch so much TV and movies/listen to so much music/play so much video games, and drink so much booze (and/or smoke so much weed if it applies), before it all just gets stale, it all starts feeling like an empty distraction, just killing time in between going to work (that you're working because...why? just to live a lousy life? you're not getting in motion towards anything better) and you start wanting something else. You start just wanting a normal life, which a romantic relationship is part of.

Being frozen out of the dating game is a sub-normal quality of life/lifestyle, and it makes you feel sub-normal on a fundamental level, inherently. It's like being insulted and humiliated 24/7/365. By extension, it feels like you're frozen out of normal life itself - not even fantasy celebrity life, but just normal life.

And feeling like work and distraction hobbies, is as good as your life is going to get, with no indication it's ever going to improve or that anything you could think or do will work, and no end in sight except the end of your life...that just feels like,"really? This is it, huh? F***..."

People that haven't lived that, really can't relate because they have no frame of reference to know what it's like.
They've never realistically had to face that situation, they're not under threat from it, so it's as unthinkable to them as worrying about an alien invasion.

Not that I think that that's what this thread should be about - it's about your brother and clearly his ability to get girlfriends is not making his life fine. But, I just wanted to explain the feeling.

Perfect, 100% spot on verbalization of the feelings I have about my life. The only thing I would add is "I can only b@ng so many escorts". It gets old, man. Real old, real fast. I can absolutely understand how and why fentanyl is making such an impact on society.

But honestly sir. You nailed it. summed up my life to a tee. I guess I am not the only one...

 

[Unsigned]

Again, I'm not yelling at you or blaming you for this. Just trying to explain it as clearly as I can, for anyone who might read this, because people really don't know.

And you explained it perfectly.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Perfect, 100% spot on verbalization of the feelings I have about my life. The only thing I would add is "I can only b@ng so many escorts". It gets old, man. Real old, real fast. I can absolutely understand how and why fentanyl is making such an impact on society.

But honestly sir. You nailed it. summed up my life to a tee. I guess I am not the only one...

And you explained it perfectly.

I wish I didn't know what it was like, but unfortunately that's not the case.
I believe you when you say meaningless sex gets old - I haven't experienced it, but I feel like I already know that it's a lot of bother for something that will get old soon enough, so it doesn't appeal to me.
I could go on about all of it, but I should probably save that for another thread or make my own.
Long story short, I think I know what this is like because I didn't play my gender role - not that I acted particularly feminine, but that I didn't act masculine enough, mainly by not having a strength, something I was good at. And because I didn't play my gender role, I didn't register as a man.

I think women can have strengths and be good at things too, I don't think those things are for men only.
I just think that women aren't punished for NOT having them - but if men don't have them, they are punished severely.

And to tie this back to Ceno's brother - he may have some kind of condition, but because he has muscles and money, he is able to do fine with women without having to worry about it. He has strengths, so he can play his role. I did not have strengths, so I could not play my role. That's what I think it all comes down to.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I wish I didn't know what it was like, but unfortunately that's not the case.
I believe you when you say meaningless sex gets old - I haven't experienced it, but I feel like I already know that it's a lot of bother for something that will get old soon enough, so it doesn't appeal to me.
I could go on about all of it, but I should probably save that for another thread or make my own.
Long story short, I think I know what this is like because I didn't play my gender role - not that I acted particularly feminine, but that I didn't act masculine enough, mainly by not having a strength, something I was good at. And because I didn't play my gender role, I didn't register as a man.

I think women can have strengths and be good at things too, I don't think those things are for men only.
I just think that women aren't punished for NOT having them - but if men don't have them, they are punished severely.

And to tie this back to Ceno's brother - he may have some kind of condition, but because he has muscles and money, he is able to do fine with women without having to worry about it. He has strengths, so he can play his role. I did not have strengths, so I could not play my role. That's what I think it all comes down to.

You know this is why I get frustrated at other women telling guys to be more feminine and that we like it because statistics show.. it's not the case for the majority. It's why incels cant stand us, because we lie sitting imaginary goal posts that make little sense and have no data to back them up at all only the opposite. The only reason theres a push for men to be more feminine is because they are scary when it's the opposite. Don't get me wrong Ska some women will like what you are offering I know that to be true, plus! from what little I know of ya... I've never thought oh he wasn't a man, and plus you have a very present stature (from that pic I saw) I was actually shocked (in a nice way) lol.

I think in all reality men do not care what we are good at, they care about one thing. Put it this way, I would do a social experiment with ya, find me a guy, whoever, I'll be horrible to him, call him another mans name, I'll even say some crazy stuff and we'll see if he'd still wanna meet up and go on a date with me. Theres the issue, most men just look right through ya when you are a woman, it's a different issue. That to us, is a punishment, but a mans fantasy as they dont care if we like them if they get what they want.

This is generalised but I can do it right now, it's not a hard thing to do, and no one would be shocked, you know?

 

[ardour]

Awh Ska I understand trust me, I wish I was always the girl I am today in terms of acceptance, I went to the school dance alone, after bucking up the courage to ask this total heart throb, really bruised my ego. However I never remember feeling this down about it, maybe it comes after countless years?

Getting rejected by a high school crush isn't on the level, no. You're young, with plenty of options; some of them not-so great, but at least you know you're desired and therefore capable of also being desired by someone you desire back.

Like he said, it's a choice, a temporary condition in this case, not unchanging fact of life that needs to be reconciled to.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Getting rejected by a high school crush isn't on the level, no. You're young, with plenty of options; some of them not-so great, but at least you know you're desired and therefore capable of also being desired by someone you desire back.

Like he said, it's a choice, a temporary condition in this case, not unchanging fact of life that needs to be reconciled to.

No I deffo get that, but I think I only get it because I was rejected and extremely undesired in high school, after my glow up you know... I see the world from both sides of the fence.

 

[Azariah]

Your brother sounds like a bummer.

 

[Azariah]

NYC.

Now You C.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Brother update he is now tryinng to start a career as a wrestler like a fake one and he joined a wrestling gym to learn the stunts omg he’s bloody mad

 

[TheSkaFish]

Brother update he is now tryinng to start a career as a wrestler like a fake one and he joined a wrestling gym to learn the stunts omg he’s bloody mad

Actually that sounds really exciting. Good luck to him!