Reaching out. Looking ahead.

[AnotherCharles]

Hi. I'm a first-time poster here, and I'm wondering, since we all have at least one thing in common - loneliness - if these forums can be used to meet like-minded people in our own area for support and hopefully new relationships? My story (just the most recent part): I lost my mom at the beginning of COVID. I lost my best (and only) friend a few months later, then I finished that year when my first (and only ever) serious relationship ended after a challenging 10 years. I've been in emotional limbo since, doubting myself and my future. My life's never been very easy or fulfilling, but I've done my best to find purpose wherever I could, and that has kept me going, from taking care of my mom as she declined from Alzheimers, to spending time with my friend who had a host of health issues and was a horder, to caring for my "ex" as she struggled with her own emotional issues and recovered from a brain injury. Even so, my mom favored my sisters, my friend often vented on me because of his own frustrations, and my "ex" never seemed to appreciate anything I did to help her, but I always hung on, partly out of a sense of duty, and partly because I needed them as much as they needed me. Now I'm 54. I've been in the same job for many years, and although I like that stability, the people I work with have not made that time easy. I'm an introvert, so meeting new people is not so easy to begin with, and I personally don't think I have much to offer to the opposite sex aside from my honesty and patience. Still, I've always heard there's someone out there for everyone. Now I just want to make some friends, at least one, and possibly find a life-partner who understands on some level the pain I've been through from their own personal experiences, and who wants to form new, lasting, positive relationships. I think most here are looking for the same thing, aren't they? If there are any like-minded souls near me, let's chat and take some baby steps toward making each of our lives a little better. I'm tired of being alone and sad. I want to share life with others while we grow a little stronger and little happier together. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm not fast to reply, but I will reply. Thanks for reading!

 

[Sunless Sky]

Hello mate, wow what a rollecoatser of unfortunate events. I feel for you.

I am open to chat if you are.

Oh and welcome to the forum.

 

[user 188685]

I'm so sorry to hear this,hello and welcome

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the forum! Sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately this group is fairly small. I have only once found someone that lived in the same state as I'm in. So, getting together just isn't doable. But, some have discussed how it would go if we did in a few of the threads.

I'm similar to your age and understand your desires. For myself, I've given up and just understand I will be alone for the rest of my life. Much of the time it's great! I can be totally selfish. But..............

I hope you get some relief from this site and/or some entertainment.

 

[AnotherCharles]

I really appreciate your thoughtful replies! Thank you for caring and taking the time to respond. I know we've all had unfortunate experiences, some more than others, and I feel for everyone who suffers or has suffered. I do believe it only takes one sympathetic person to change things for the better, and thankfully there seem to be many like that here. I'll participate as often as I can. Some days when reality bites, it's hard to find anything positive to say, so I'll avoid those days, but I really hope my words can in some small way comfort someone in the same way yours comfort me. And I hope in time we can all find whatever it is that'll bring us a little peace and edge us a little closer toward some form of happiness

 

[Finished]

Some days when reality bites, it's hard to find anything positive to say, so I'll avoid those days

No, come here and try to make your day better. Or, just vent. Say all the reasons why your day sucks. Someone or several will read it. You can post in the diary section if you don't want others to reply for some reason. I remember going off a month or so ago. It felt good to do it and then I moved on.

 

[LeeG]

Hi @AnotherCharles , I liked your post and I share similar feels to you. I don't live anywhere near so I'm in North Carolina but I am trying to make new friends since all the people I have always considered friends now seem to want little to nothing to do with me. My family is pretty much the same with the exception of my mother. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom, I lost my dad and I know losing a parent is so hard. I love and miss my dad so much and that was many years ago.

I recently came out of a friendship with a hoarder, we were very old friends who were apart for 30 years, I reached out to her on facebook and we ended up getting back together, spending a lot of time together. That also ended badly where I got hurt. She somehow manages to have lots of friends and family around her all the time, where I don't really have a single friend and my family could obviously care less about me.

I hope you find what your looking for on here, today is my first day here so I don't know a lot about it but I do know a lot of nice people responded to my post, and gave me positive encouragement so I really like everybody here. Lots of luck!

 

[idaniel]

Similar age. Sort of similar story here. A couple of life events set me back a lot. And I found it near impossible to start over and meet new people the old way I used to do things.

I am still friends with my ex even though that separation caused me a lot of problems. But she is one of the few people that always checked on me.

I live near Houston. I have some old friends in DFW.

 

[Sir Joseph]

Anothercharles, with this being a world wide site of few members compared to FB, it is unlikely you'll find local friend prospects here. But don't let that discourage you from engaging some of your time here. While on-line chatting may not be as fulfilling as personal interaction, it is none the less somewhat of a social fix - just as a smile or hi on the street with a stranger is when it's your only contact for the day.

Welcome to the site.

 

[AnotherCharles]

Once again, I'm touched by the empathy and sympathy I see here. Thanks to all who have replied with advice and encouragement. I sincerely appreciate it, and again I wish all who read and suffer to find some measure of peace in knowing the rest of us here are with you.

 

[Leapof_Faith]

Make friends with loneliness, that's the best way I've found, don't fight the feeling but do reach out and try; comfortable in your vulnerability.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Hi. I'm a first-time poster here, and I'm wondering, since we all have at least one thing in common - loneliness - if these forums can be used to meet like-minded people in our own area for support and hopefully new relationships? My story (just the most recent part): I lost my mom at the beginning of COVID. I lost my best (and only) friend a few months later, then I finished that year when my first (and only ever) serious relationship ended after a challenging 10 years. I've been in emotional limbo since, doubting myself and my future. My life's never been very easy or fulfilling, but I've done my best to find purpose wherever I could, and that has kept me going, from taking care of my mom as she declined from Alzheimers, to spending time with my friend who had a host of health issues and was a horder, to caring for my "ex" as she struggled with her own emotional issues and recovered from a brain injury. Even so, my mom favored my sisters, my friend often vented on me because of his own frustrations, and my "ex" never seemed to appreciate anything I did to help her, but I always hung on, partly out of a sense of duty, and partly because I needed them as much as they needed me. Now I'm 54. I've been in the same job for many years, and although I like that stability, the people I work with have not made that time easy. I'm an introvert, so meeting new people is not so easy to begin with, and I personally don't think I have much to offer to the opposite sex aside from my honesty and patience. Still, I've always heard there's someone out there for everyone. Now I just want to make some friends, at least one, and possibly find a life-partner who understands on some level the pain I've been through from their own personal experiences, and who wants to form new, lasting, positive relationships. I think most here are looking for the same thing, aren't they? If there are any like-minded souls near me, let's chat and take some baby steps toward making each of our lives a little better. I'm tired of being alone and sad. I want to share life with others while we grow a little stronger and little happier together. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'm not fast to reply, but I will reply. Thanks for reading!

Hi. I just joined this forum and found your post interesting. Even though I am older than you are, it's good to know I won't be out of place here age wise. I have also suffered losses and I am so sorry for yours.

 

[user 188685]

Hi. I just joined this forum and found your post interesting. Even though I am older than you are, it's good to know I won't be out of place here age wise. I have also suffered losses and I am so sorry for yours.

Hello and welcome

 

[Butterfly 2]

Thank you!

 

[user 188685]

Thank you!

Very welcome

 

[Puppykat56]

Hi @AnotherCharles , I liked your post and I share similar feels to you. I don't live anywhere near so I'm in North Carolina but I am trying to make new friends since all the people I have always considered friends now seem to want little to nothing to do with me. My family is pretty much the same with the exception of my mother. I am so sorry to hear about your Mom, I lost my dad and I know losing a parent is so hard. I love and miss my dad so much and that was many years ago.

I recently came out of a friendship with a hoarder, we were very old friends who were apart for 30 years, I reached out to her on facebook and we ended up getting back together, spending a lot of time together. That also ended badly where I got hurt. She somehow manages to have lots of friends and family around her all the time, where I don't really have a single friend and my family could obviously care less about me.

I hope you find what your looking for on here, today is my first day here so I don't know a lot about it but I do know a lot of nice people responded to my post, and gave me positive encouragement so I really like everybody here. Lots of luck!

First, welcome anothercharles! Your name made me smile because one of my favorite friends from my past was a man named Charles. We lost touch in the late 80s, but I know he lives in Arizona now. But I also want to say hello to LeeG because I also live in North Carolina, in the Triangle. I have a long story about my family too, it’s strange and sad. They’ve literally almost all died young. My dad died when I was 7 years old and it was all downhill from there. Charles, you are dealing with several intense emotional blows all at once. I started taking Xanax again and it helps to keep me level. I only take it at night. Nights are the worst. I’m sending you a hug.

 

[LeeG]

@Puppykat56 I live in the Charlotte area of North Carolina and have pretty much my whole life, besides two years in New Jersey (which I totally hated) and 4 years in Miami Florida (which I kind of liked but didn't miss). Sorry it took me a long time to respond.

 

[SquareBin]

I hope all is alright/better now, Covid really F***** us up