Reasons

[Adamridge79]

You do type at yourself alot...continuation of daily life. I'm a rather paranoid person in general. Too much stuff seems to be coming up Milhouse...or, Mr Ridge. But, I've been uncommonly lucky lately. This is the time where my brain screams at me to run, hide, fake your death. But, it could truly be coincidence, or, rationally just the sum of all things. Me, I prefer the whole waiting for the other shoe to drop attitude. But, again, paranoid. When things are going well, does anyone else go all conspiracy theory? Or is it just another day?

 

[Adamridge79]

More nonsensical random sentences. I find more and more I have to withdraw from the general population. Nothing extreme, no political stuff, no topical items, not so much a value scale either. It just seems to be a tad more difficult to interact with people. A lot of people got really messed up the last two years. During the whole mess, I didn't understand why seemingly well adjusted people could not cope with what my head went through, daily, for over thirty years. I still don't get the actions of some people. Am I missing something? Was it really that taxing? Am I immune to life being horrible? Or did I have the advantage going in? That would be a first, and honestly, pretty ******* awesome.

 

[Adamridge79]

Do I care? Probably. But I kill a room like an eviscerated fetus in front of a bunch of hard-core Bible thumpers on viagra. Well...unless an alter boy is present. Don't think that would deter them much

 

[Adamridge79]

Rants are a thing here. I truly can commiserate. So many years have I been alone. I really avoid places I may do more hurt than good. I don't see me putting myself out there. I've learned. But this place, this site, is not a 'hook up' place. Not as I see it. It's a figure out interaction place. Be cautious...be wary..but engage. Maybe they're me, be appalled. But, don't shy away. Engage. Find strength in your words and convictions. Practice. Or don't, and be content with life as it unfolds.

 

[Adamridge79]

Also show up....and at the same time dont..don't..

 

[Adamridge79]

No one shows up....to...show up..

 

[Adamridge79]

It fulfilled my expectations

 

[Adamridge79]

>signing out<

 

[Adamridge79]

No one's around. I don't know if it's the day, what it can mean to some, and the loneliness that surrounds some holidays. I hope it's because it's Sunday, and people are getting much needed sleep for the upcoming week.

 

[Adamridge79]

I really need a filter. The was an old SNL skit with The Rock, and he was nicotrol, or something. Helping smokers to quit. Every time the guy tried smoking, he'd pop up, punch him hard and yell, 'QUIT SMOKING!' I need that, but with 'STOP POSTING!'

 

[Adamridge79]

I went and did a community class today. I was all freaked out and paranoid to even walk in. That was a self imposed argument. I forced myself in. But, I paid for it. And wow. It was so nifty, I had such a good time. Is this really how people interact with each other? Am I that damaged that I never thought this as an option? Man, I have a lot to work on.

 

[Adamridge79]

We type, and hope for vindication...it won't happen...that's why I spew nonsense...it's fun

 

[Adamridge79]

Please mansplain and elaborate....ok...it's a canvas to type but stay anonymous

 

[Adamridge79]

Stubborn...or docile...great area of contemplation...

 

[Adamridge79]

I would be remiss if I didn't point out the l lack of conviction

 

[Adamridge79]

I lack...that's neat

 

[Adamridge79]

Hmm...so many things to respond to that should be on those daytime drama 'talk shows'. That would be exhausting. Also found out if the Roku site gets a very pointed question of why it won't work correctly, it restarts your phone. That was a bit scary. But, this is mine...lonely people really are super set on staying that way. Hell, I'm guilty of it. So, I will do my best to not try to forment arguments. I have instigated enough. I just wanted to talk to people, but I am guilty of inciting poison.

 

[Adamridge79]

Be free....for...that...

 

[Mr Doubtfire]

I now feel I can't trust anyone.

I was at the doctors yesterday and other people were there.Mobile phones and noise.
Wish I chose a chair, so I could stare at the wall.I felt really out of place.I didn't want to look at people.
Started feeling hot couldn't breathe then went outside for a breather.Was wearing a mask as it's the rules of which I have no problem with and generally if I feel unsafe I would wear a mask anyway.
Went to receptionist to tell that that was it, and I'm going home.I really could not stand it, but then I got called in by the doc.
I hadn't been round the doctors for over three years as I really don't care.At this rate I hope it's another five years.
Was supposed to have a blood test but no tests available till May unless I walk in on Monday random.Don't really care.
I rarely travel on public transport that's why I cycle or walk virtually everywhere.

 

[Adamridge79]

Well, I haven't worn a mask for weeks, minus my blood work last Tuesday. I don't care anymore. I'm the standard hard headed American, but who has also done the vaccines. I do remember, getting sober, and hoping my meds would solve my insane anxiety being around people, how I just lost it. I had to bolt now. (2016-2018) I get how you just have to get. i thought i had something worth reading, but it doesnt really coalesce.