Romance? I am absolutely alone.

[ardour]

It seems most people only want someone at their beck and call.

Exacerbated by gender double standards; men who expect commitment from women are trying to "posses" them (feminist speak.)

 

[Goblin]

This is generalizing and I admit its comes from other people's experience, not my own, but a lot of women do not want a relationship because that comes with doing our laundry, our shopping, our errands, making all our meals etc etc. That could be wrong, I don't know.

On the topic of cooking, I've always found it strange when it's referred to as a woman's job and not something for a man to know how to do. An adult should be able to feed themselves alone.

I make a point to tell men who don't cook how wonderful my stir-fry, quiche, and buttery baked fish is because I'm a cruel human being.

 

[lostatsea]

Sounds like you're part of a dying breed of what is now considered the conservative gentleman. Spending way too much time socializing on the internet has shown me that many people in your age group are completely sexually liberated. Dating is becoming a dying trend. Casual sex is becoming more common place. Sex on the first "date" is more acceptable. Part of flirting is coming straight out and sending sexts and nude pictures when you barely know each other.

I talked to a girl about this and she said people don't date anymore. You just kind of hang out, hook up, and you're friends. You continue that for a while in a non-committal situation as you gradually spend more and more time together. When you're pretty much exclusive by nature of time, you can now officially be boyfriend/girlfriend.

Better or worse, it's just the way society is changing. People want the intimacy and physical benefits without the responsibility. But there will always be the more conservative traditional people out there.

 

[Empte]

I've had one night stands before with people I didn't care about and I thought it was fine, mostly because the sex wasn't great. Then I had one night stands with people with whom I actually really wanted to get to know better, but then didn't want to know me. I settled for sex instead of never seeing them again. If I could do it again, I should have just walked away to spare myself the pain.

I've learned that I "fall in love" fast when I have sex with someone early on. I can't see their flaws and I idealize them, which makes for a pretty messed up relationship.

I'm cynical about people having "non-committal" sex and being happy about it for years. Eventually, maybe they'll get tired of it, because it's draining, at least in my experience.

 

[lostatsea]

I've had one night stands before with people I didn't care about and I thought it was fine, mostly because the sex wasn't great. Then I had one night stands with people with whom I actually really wanted to get to know better, but then didn't want to know me. I settled for sex instead of never seeing them again. If I could do it again, I should have just walked away to spare myself the pain.

I've learned that I "fall in love" fast when I have sex with someone early on. I can't see their flaws and I idealize them, which makes for a pretty messed up relationship.

I'm cynical about people having "non-committal" sex and being happy about it for years. Eventually, maybe they'll get tired of it, because it's draining, at least in my experience.

I think that's where the ambiguity is. You never know if its a one night stand, a fling, or a relationship until after it's happened and run it's course. All three are approached the same way. At least that's how it's been expressed to me.