Running club...

[ardour]

So I turned up after work after a month of not going, and what do you know, a group of 10+ people again instead of the 3-4 guys it had dwindled down to when I was there every week.

One woman recognized me and gave me the stink eye. The newbies who initially seemed kind of relaxed must have noticed and soon nobody was looking in my direction. Any of my suggestions for a route were ignored like I wasn't there. I looked around nervously and made conversation with the organizer instead.

Well I couldn't manage the 10k, broke off and ran around the old silos down at the viaduct instead, eventually meeting them back at the gym entrance. Nobody was talking to me. Boxed out, self conscious, felt like they were viewing me as some gross guy who turned up so he could perv at young women wearing lycra.

Guess I'll be running alone again.

 

[Hopetracer]

It's a club for everyone, both men and women. You have the right to be there and If anybody doesn't like you to be there, the problem's on them. Has it been always like this? Imo, Decent people doesn't form their opinions based on disliking attitude of someone else toward you. They form it based on their values as well as interactions and experiences with you. If you're sure all these people in the club don't have the courtesy of knowing you before putting judgments on you, then I say just have an ignoring attitude toward them in return. Being alone is better than having judgmental friends.

 

[Tiina63]

Is there a different running club you could join? It does hurt very much when a group overlooks you and behaves as if you aren't there. But don't give up-you could find another group where you may meet friendlier people.

 

[constant stranger]

Keep showing up at the same club, don't make an issue out of feeling left out, run the route they decide on and try and keep up with their pace.......in other words, submit to being a junior member of the wolf pack. For now. Get in shape and be confident, not needy. Your status in the pack will change.

 

[Triple Bogey]

So I turned up after work after a month of not going, and what do you know, a group of 10+ people again instead of the 3-4 guys it had dwindled down to when I was there every week.

One woman recognized me and gave me the stink eye. The newbies who initially seemed kind of relaxed must have noticed and soon nobody was looking in my direction. Any of my suggestions for a route were ignored like I wasn't there. I looked around nervously and made conversation with the organizer instead.

Well I couldn't manage the 10k, broke off and ran around the old silos down at the viaduct instead, eventually meeting them back at the gym entrance. Nobody was talking to me. Boxed out, self conscious, felt like they were viewing me as some gross guy who turned up so he could perv at young women wearing lycra.

Guess I'll be running alone again.

I would turn up next week and if they act the same, tell them all to **** off and try and join another running club. I'm presuming you haven't done anything to offend these people ?

 

[TheRealCallie]

I also recommend going again.
I assume it was different when you were going every week? They could be mad at you because you didn't go for a month.

 

[ardour]

I also recommend going again.
I assume it was different when you were going every week? They could be mad at you because you didn't go for a month.

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

 

[SofiasMami]

So I turned up after work after a month of not going, and what do you know, a group of 10+ people again instead of the 3-4 guys it had dwindled down to when I was there every week.

One woman recognized me and gave me the stink eye...

That was a rude welcome back. How awkward and awful you must have felt. I'm with Tiina, perhaps there is a better running club out there.

-Teresa

 

[9006]

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

Why do you think this?

 

[ardour]

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

Why do you think this?

Fewer and fewer people going after I became a regular at the meetups.

 

[Paraiyar]

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

Why do you think this?

Fewer and fewer people going after I became a regular at the meetups.

I highly doubt they'd let one person put them off a running club.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I also recommend going again.
I assume it was different when you were going every week? They could be mad at you because you didn't go for a month.

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

What are you doing to offend these people ?

 

[ardour]

I also recommend going again.
I assume it was different when you were going every week? They could be mad at you because you didn't go for a month.

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

What are you doing to offend these people ?

Nothing. You of all people should understand that you don't have to do or say anything 'wrong'.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I also recommend going again.
I assume it was different when you were going every week? They could be mad at you because you didn't go for a month.

No, it was awkward before. I got the impression that the women and some of the guys stopped going because of me. The numbers went back to normal once it seemed like I had disappeared.

What are you doing to offend these people ?

Nothing. You of all people should understand that you don't have to do or say anything 'wrong'.

So what are you suggesting ?
They don't want to run with you because you are ugly ?
I don't really buy that. I think you are probably looking for it. Because these people aren't all over you paying you massive amounts of attention, you come to the wrong conclusion.

Although all the clubs or teams I have come across haven't been that friendly. I don't expect people to change their hobbies or activities because an ugly bloke turns up.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Seems like he was just expecting common courtesy - not massive amounts of attention.

You know...sometimes, when people are often treated a certain way, they come to expect being treated that way all the time.
Maybe they even see it when it isn't really there. Not saying that's the case here, but I'm sure it's possible. People can simply become conditioned.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Seems like he was just expecting common courtesy - not massive amounts of attention.

You know...sometimes, when people are often treated a certain way, they come to expect being treated that way all the time.
Maybe they even see it when it isn't really there. Not saying that's the case here, but I'm sure it's possible. People can simply become conditioned.

Okay argue with everything I say. Well done

 

[EveWasFramed]

Seems like he was just expecting common courtesy - not massive amounts of attention.

You know...sometimes, when people are often treated a certain way, they come to expect being treated that way all the time.
Maybe they even see it when it isn't really there. Not saying that's the case here, but I'm sure it's possible. People can simply become conditioned.

Okay argue with everything I say. Well done

You have known me long enough to know what me arguing with someone looks like.
That wasn't it.
My point was, maybe he's sensitive due to past experiences.

 

[ardour]

You're implying I have the mindset of a child, looking for undue attention everywhere. If that's going to be a theme in your responses, I'd rather you didn't.

 

[Paraiyar]

You're implying I have the mindset of a child, looking for undue attention everywhere. If that's going to be a theme in your responses, I'd rather you didn't.

When TB said you were 'looking for it' I think he meant you were expecting them to be repulsed by you, I don't think he meant you were staving for attention in itself but interpreted a lack of it as meaning people didn't like you.

I actually think Eve and TB are essentially saying the same thing which I agree with.

 

[EveWasFramed]

You're implying I have the mindset of a child, looking for undue attention everywhere. If that's going to be a theme in your responses, I'd rather you didn't.

I can't tell if you're replying to me or to TB here because no one is quoted.
If it was to me, that's certainly not what I meant, so please don't take it that way.