Well here's the skinny, my ex & I have been broken up for 2 yrs now. He's been with another girl actually for that time. Our relationship lasted a little over year, it was a long distance relationship so it was really hard. A month & a half into our relationship I made the mistake of cheating, which I feel horrible about, I had absolutely NO reason at all to cheat & he so happened to be the first bf I'd ever cheated on. He found out, sh*t got bad but he decided to give me a second chance. Needless to say it being a long distance relationship, it went way downhill after that. Idk if I loved him to be honest but after the whole incident I hated myself & was so mad at myself for cheating, I guess it made me realize I truly did have feelings for this guy. Well there was no trust, accusing wouldn't stop, but there were SOME good times. I ended up getting pregnant but God had other plans, I guess the baby wasn't meant to be. After that everything just totally went to sh*t like 10x worse than before. He started talking to other girls & just basically cut me out of his life.
He started dating his girl best friend, which so happened to be his cousins ex-gf, whom he cheated on. Him (my ex) & her got close because they knew exactly how one another felt. Well they got together shortly & he would absolutely just NOT talk to me at all. When I tried to talk to him he'd tell me we had nothing to talk about. Then after a year passes by he decides to contact me. We talk & he drives an hr to come see me. He asked me why I wasn't the girl for him & even tried to kiss me! But I didn't let him. He would tell me that he loved me & missed me & would think about the baby a lot. His gf found out later that he would talk to other girls through my myspace page, I had written a blog because it made me mad that all the things he said to me for cheating yet he turns around & does the same thing to a girl he claims to "love"?! (His cousin & close friend told me how he talks to other girls, he admitted to me as well.) Well he stopped talking to me again.
Months passed & I txtd him saying hello & it wasn't a long conversation. It was just a hi, how ya doin, good luck with everything. That's it. Then a couple days later he txtd me & we txtd all day basically. He would txt me in the mornings till night. & started again w/ the whole I love you & miss you& think about you & if you wouldn't have cheated we'd still be together. He would talk dirty to me & I had to remind him he had a gf. A few months after that he came to my house again but this time things happened. I was disgusted afterwards with him & myself of course. I just thought about all the hell we went through & how he emotionally imprisoned me with guilt just for him to turn around & do the same sh*t. But we still talked & I realized I cant change him or what happened. I changed my number & we didnt talk for a month but we got in contact again & he started with the same crap. All this time though he would act like an *** with me. Ignoring me sometimes then talking to me when he wanted to. I know he wanted to have his cake & eat it too. He apologized recently & we agreed to remain friends & not let it escalate into anything more than just that.
It's been a week now & we've talked. He wants me to visit him every now & then but idk if that's a good idea...I just have this feeling if we do see each other it's just going to go back to the same thing, because that's what seems to happen. He tends to blame me for how he is now, but I refuse to take responsiblity for his actions. I know what I did hurt him but he knows this girl loves him with all her heart, they're basically perfect for each other. He knows what he does. I cheated on him 2 freaking months into our "relationship", yet he waits almost 2 yrs later to physically cheat on her, as far as I know that was the first time.
I'm not gonna lie I still love him very much & sometimes I just wish we were back together.I have mixed emotions like one day I want to be with him sooo much then the next I realize what kind of person he is & I hate him...but I don't want him out of my life. I just dont know what to do....
He started dating his girl best friend, which so happened to be his cousins ex-gf, whom he cheated on. Him (my ex) & her got close because they knew exactly how one another felt. Well they got together shortly & he would absolutely just NOT talk to me at all. When I tried to talk to him he'd tell me we had nothing to talk about. Then after a year passes by he decides to contact me. We talk & he drives an hr to come see me. He asked me why I wasn't the girl for him & even tried to kiss me! But I didn't let him. He would tell me that he loved me & missed me & would think about the baby a lot. His gf found out later that he would talk to other girls through my myspace page, I had written a blog because it made me mad that all the things he said to me for cheating yet he turns around & does the same thing to a girl he claims to "love"?! (His cousin & close friend told me how he talks to other girls, he admitted to me as well.) Well he stopped talking to me again.
Months passed & I txtd him saying hello & it wasn't a long conversation. It was just a hi, how ya doin, good luck with everything. That's it. Then a couple days later he txtd me & we txtd all day basically. He would txt me in the mornings till night. & started again w/ the whole I love you & miss you& think about you & if you wouldn't have cheated we'd still be together. He would talk dirty to me & I had to remind him he had a gf. A few months after that he came to my house again but this time things happened. I was disgusted afterwards with him & myself of course. I just thought about all the hell we went through & how he emotionally imprisoned me with guilt just for him to turn around & do the same sh*t. But we still talked & I realized I cant change him or what happened. I changed my number & we didnt talk for a month but we got in contact again & he started with the same crap. All this time though he would act like an *** with me. Ignoring me sometimes then talking to me when he wanted to. I know he wanted to have his cake & eat it too. He apologized recently & we agreed to remain friends & not let it escalate into anything more than just that.
It's been a week now & we've talked. He wants me to visit him every now & then but idk if that's a good idea...I just have this feeling if we do see each other it's just going to go back to the same thing, because that's what seems to happen. He tends to blame me for how he is now, but I refuse to take responsiblity for his actions. I know what I did hurt him but he knows this girl loves him with all her heart, they're basically perfect for each other. He knows what he does. I cheated on him 2 freaking months into our "relationship", yet he waits almost 2 yrs later to physically cheat on her, as far as I know that was the first time.
I'm not gonna lie I still love him very much & sometimes I just wish we were back together.I have mixed emotions like one day I want to be with him sooo much then the next I realize what kind of person he is & I hate him...but I don't want him out of my life. I just dont know what to do....
