shy people, do not join dating sites

[Batman55]

I've never thought anyone sending an email was creepy..I don't think. There's a possibility she may think you're desperate because you're trying not to look like it. When it's a man especially that is messaging me, I feel like I'm disappointing them when I don't reply. But she, on the other hand might no longer be interested in messaging with you. Sometimes it seems like so so many people out there don't really consider people's feelings. I'd just leave it - you might be feeding her ego rather than letting her know she can get back in touch with you. Or tell her off -(though I've never done it myself, but only because I've just now thought of it) it might just be worth it to get your frustrations out, especially if she just deletes the message instead of deigning to read it.

I spoke too soon. She left an offline message saying she was away, and then tonight we had another nice chat. Trying not to look desperate, anyway, is always the best choice for a guy--even one who is NOT desperate needs to be mindful of what they say--and so far it has worked with this "possible friend."

It's also not a case of I just ask questions and she answers, she actually does ask questions. There is a great amount of similarity between us, a lot to talk about, it's quite jarring really.

Of course with my luck this person may be gone tomorrow or stop chatting, whatever. So I may as well expect the worst, that's the only healthy strategy for me anyhow.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I think it's just really hard to judge someone over an email. Which is why, most of the time, you can't judge someone over an internet dating site.

 

[blackdot]

I think it's just really hard to judge someone over an email. Which is why, most of the time, you can't judge someone over an internet dating site.

for me, I can easily judge someone online. When I meet someone in person that I have met online, I always meet who I expected. I am always confused how people aren't able to judge people correctly online.

Well, that is unless the person online doesn't communicate. I hate people that only want to "text". For 1 thing, I don't have a cell phone. For another, I can't find out anything about the person if they don't tell me anything. But then I try to avoid meeting those people because when I do, they are just like they are online. They don't talk the whole night.

 

[nerdygirl]

for me, I can easily judge someone online. When I meet someone in person that I have met online, I always meet who I expected. I am always confused how people aren't able to judge people correctly online.

Yes! I, too, get confused by that. If I was to meet a stranger in person and one on a dating site, I'd most likely have a much better sense of the latter's character.

 

[Mike510]

I seriously don't undestand the women on these sites. I logged off for the past 5 days expecting to be done with all of this and I have two girls who message me. Both seem really smart and normal. When I try to find someone all I get is friendship or ignored now I give up and I have women seeking me out. Are these girls serious or just trying to see if I am interestead?

 

[Batman55]

I recommend the smart decision, which I made, and will gladly recommend to others... get rid of your account. Don't feed the big bad wolf. Just 3 weeks on there was enough to show me that such places are not good for self esteem. And as others have found out, even if they do call you/meet up or whatever, false advertising is fairly common. I don't blame one sex or the other, but I suppose people in general. However I do take the moral high ground in this matter: in my profile, I was completely honest.. maybe that's why no one cared? Lol.

As an aside, here's what I really think. Men are just a big pile of statistics on there. It's all backwards, there is NONE of the spontaneity you have when meeting a stranger in real life. A man on a dating site could be the most charming guy in the world and write high quality messages all day, but if you don't have good numbers written down in the right places, you will not catch anyone's interest. (This doesn't affect those who have good numbers, as you will get their attention, hats off to you.)

 

[blackdot]

(This doesn't affect those who have good numbers, as you will get their attention, hats off to you.)

I unfortunately have ok numbers I guess because I could get people's attention. It's just that once I meet in person, the women run for their lives. That or they refused to meet because they aren't interested in meeting people in person.

Doesn't matter now as I have hit the official "too old to date" age.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Doesn't matter now as I have hit the official "too old to date" age.

*snorts*

Im older than you. You can certainly date at your age.

 

[blackdot]

Not from what I am finding.

Each year older led to fewer and fewer people that would chat with me. At 39, I got very few. At soon as I turned 40, I noticed people stopped even looking at my profile.
I've also noticed that most people put the upper limit of people they will talk to at 39.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Not from what I am finding.

Each year older led to fewer and fewer people that would chat with me. At 39, I got very few. At soon as I turned 40, I noticed people stopped even looking at my profile.
I've also noticed that most people put the upper limit of people they will talk to at 39.

Who exactly are these "people" you speak of? Are you looking for someone substantially younger than you are or something? I know I can't speak for all women, but when I consider a "cut off" age, if the cut off age was 39, I'd have likely been about 30 at the time.

 

[nerdygirl]

All of the women of the world (35 and over) have become cougars. We just can't help ourselves. Who wants a guy with the maturity level of an adult when we can have men who are essentially children to raise?

 

[blackdot]

Who exactly are these "people" you speak of? Are you looking for someone substantially younger than you are or something?

The "people" are women on dating websites.
I am looking for someone younger than I am. Not necessarily a lot younger or anything.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I don't know how anybody can 'look for somebody' all the time.
It's just depressing and disheartening. The end result is always the same. What is the point of putting yourself thru it ?

 

[EveWasFramed]

I am looking for someone younger than I am. Not necessarily a lot younger or anything.

Oh...well, that's probably part of the issue right there then.

 

[blackdot]

oh, so at 40 you have to find older women who have no desire to have kids?
great... just great... so life does just gets worse as you get older.

 

[EveWasFramed]

oh, so at 40 you have to find older women who have no desire to have kids?
great... just great... so life does just gets worse as you get older.

:club: lol, I didnt say that. I figured you were searching for a woman who still wanted/could have children when you said you were looking for someone a bit younger.
Im just saying it's probably part of the reason you're having difficulties. The pool of women who want kids later in life is probably a lot smaller than the ones who want to have their children when they're young.
It sucks and Im sorry you're having the difficulty though. You seem like a decent guy - just a frustrated one.

 

[ucxb]

All of the women of the world (35 and over) have become cougars. We just can't help ourselves. Who wants a guy with the maturity level of an adult when we can have men who are essentially children to raise?

This is priceless !!

 

[mintymint]

All of the women of the world (35 and over) have become cougars. We just can't help ourselves. Who wants a guy with the maturity level of an adult when we can have men who are essentially children to raise?

This is priceless !!

Ga ga goo goo

 

[nerdygirl]

All of the women of the world (35 and over) have become cougars. We just can't help ourselves. Who wants a guy with the maturity level of an adult when we can have men who are essentially children to raise?

This is priceless !!

Ga ga goo goo

Ah, minty. You're already hotness personified. You don't have to sweet talk me.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I'd also be careful making those baby sounds...I think nerdy has mentioned having a cute Minty baby.