So, anyone else believe that no one would want to be in a relationship with them?

[Equinox]

What would you do in the following situation which really happened:

(...)

You did the right thing, and I would have done the same. Forcing someone to choose between their kids and their significant other is tasteless, and anyone who puts forth such an ultimatum deserves to get the boot. The needs of a child should always come first - which is why I don't have kids myself, or intend to get involved with someone who does. But once you've decided you're okay with dating someone who has children, you better be damn sure you're able to take that child seriously, and acknowledge that when in conflict, your own needs/wishes will never be (and shouldn't be) a priority.

 

[Callie]

I don't think anyone wants me. I don't think I have anything to offer. Add that to the "ready made family" that comes with me, and well..... I don't think a whole lot of people that would want to take that on.

Believe it or not, it is *potentially* worse for a male to have a "ready made family" in my experience; and if it was not a deterrent for "making it through the front door," it was like my daughter did not exist.

If someone acted like my daughter did not exist, I gave them the boot.

(I never wanted anyone to be my daughter's mother per say or take up the role, but I did expect for them to treat her with dignity and respect.)

What would you do in the following situation which really happened:

We were dating for about a month.

Her children were already grown.

She wanted to go on a trip during Christmas break - including the 25th.

While I did not celebrate Christmas, my daughter did and she was around 11 at the time.

We also have a family gathering - whats left of it with five us including me - either on the 24th or 25th.

There was no reason why she could NOT change her annual leave (paid time off) since I use to work in the department for five years as a grant writer four years previously and even asked the commissioner if it true she could not change her annual leave.

So, she made it - more or less - a choice between her and my daughter.

After gathering the facts and double checking to make sure with her supervisors, I gave her the boot.

While I realize it is important to compromise, no one should make a person chose between their family and and other trivial issues such as changing your time off.

Therefore, I figured if something like that started early in the relationship, it would continue and better to make the decision "now" then later.

Anyway, I understand the issues of "ready made families" and have had a couple of bad experiences after my daughter turned eight.

(I put off dating until she turned eight since I had custody and her mother was not involved with her because I wanted my daughter to feel secure.)

I would have done the same thing.
Would I like to get up and go somewhere around the holidays...**** yes. But, as I have kids, that's not gonna happen, it means too much to them.

 

[Bread]

Yeah, I think I'll be single for good. A bit funny in the head, but thankfully not in a major way, and I don't really have good looks- been struggling with bad skin for years. Looking sick has become my status quo. Also, been pretty much poor for most of my life, so I don't have any material possessions or monetary means to make my significant other happy.

In odd turns of events, I did manage to get on two internet dates, which momentarily relit that flickering light o' hope I had, but in retrospect, there were no sparks either way in both cases, so it's quite clear they didn't find me the charming rogue I had imagined myself to be.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

*shrugs* I know I don't trust anyone. I don't know if it's because I haven't met anyone trustworthy or if it's because I'm simply untrusting.
I've seen worse looking people than me in relationships, but I'm not going to settle for the first person who asks me out. That's ****.
Friends, too, I don't befriend the first person who gives me their number. I've deleted contact information of more people than I can count. I don't ******** people into thinking I enjoy their company when I don't.
But, y'know, maybe it's because I'm so cold and callous and don't know how to sugar coat anything that makes me completely unbearable as a friend. I say it's others' fault for not being able to handle me, but in reality I'm just difficult to handle. Since I'm not willing to change, though, guess I'll just be alone is all.

 

[Limlim]

*shrugs* I know I don't trust anyone. I don't know if it's because I haven't met anyone trustworthy or if it's because I'm simply untrusting.
I've seen worse looking people than me in relationships, but I'm not going to settle for the first person who asks me out. That's ****.
Friends, too, I don't befriend the first person who gives me their number. I've deleted contact information of more people than I can count. I don't ******** people into thinking I enjoy their company when I don't.
But, y'know, maybe it's because I'm so cold and callous and don't know how to sugar coat anything that makes me completely unbearable as a friend. I say it's others' fault for not being able to handle me, but in reality I'm just difficult to handle. Since I'm not willing to change, though, guess I'll just be alone is all.

Lies, you are a warm affectionate bunny with a chewy center (hug!)