So... I wanted to buy a nekomimi hat.

[A_T_Swordsman]

Basically, the idea of buying this hat has forced me to confront somethings about myself I'd rather not, but heck, I joined this site for some reason or another and this seems like the proper crowd to discuss it with (for whatever reason I'm discussing it IDK) so here it goes.

I wanted to buy the hat because I like it, however, I REALLY don't like the idea of it drawing attention to my head, which it most assuredly will if I ever wore it. And, I'm not going to buy something I won't wear.

But, this stems from something further back. The simple truth is I avoid mirrors. I avoid my reflection. Sometimes, I force myself, to fix my hair or whatnot, but I always focus only on the particular task, such as the hair-fixing, and avoid any other features. I am on acne medicine, which has done a swell job compared to what I looked like before, but I'm still no where near a clean face.

However, the acne alone doesn't seem to explain my feelings towards the image in the mirror. I have consciously had thoughts like "That's not me" and have never been able to personify with my image in photographs. If I ever do try and picture myself being inside the figure I see in the mirror or photograph I get agitated/scared and quickly throw such thoughts from my mind.

I am introverted, but I have never had trouble making friends here and there. However, this definitely stems from the fact that I am able to 'forget' my image. If I am reminded of it, like if I'm hanging with friends and a window reflects me, I instantly become extremely self conscious and for the rest of the events I find myself looking away and/or turning away from people as I talk with them. At the worst, I completely zone out, such as when walking through a hallway where people are sitting and waiting along it's sides and I'm positive at least 10% are looking at me. I stiffen up, and even my vision closes a bit so that I can't see the people on the edges of the hallway (I'm not squinting my eyes though, they just sort of blur/darken out) Which, is why I think I'm not too bad at public speaking. I can 'forget' my looks and speak to large audiences. I have performed before hundreds of thousands of people before many times without any real issues so whatever this 'image problem' I'm having is, I've somehow gotten around it to some extent, but obviously with the creation of this thread, not really a solution to my issue.

OH, and even if I do get the hat, I'd probably be too scared to wear it around friends. My close friend knows about my love for anime but he has stigmas towards it which, because of my personality, he has never applied to me, but I'm afraid if I did wear it in front of him he would start to. I know he'd still be my friend, but I like his current perception of me and would rather not change it. In regards to all my other, less-deep friendships, most don't know my love of anime much, or are in a similar position where they know I like it but they don't categorize me with their stigmas and so I'd like to avoid the same sort of thing with them as well.

But... I do like the hat *sigh*

 

[musicstoodstill]

Everything aside.....get the hat.

I wear hats sometimes...

putting on a hat adds dimension, character and confidence...just saying...

try it. you never know.

 

[ajdass1]

You should get the hat! You don't need to wear it out. You can sat around wearing it in private. See how you feel.

 

[Barbaloot]

When I was about your age I used to have the same relationship with mirrors. I would avoid them at all costs, mostly because of my extreme levels of self-consciousness and insecurity about my appearance (that were mostly caused by my acne.)
Looking back, I realize how much I limited myself by not doing what I wanted, wearing what I wanted. It simply wasn't worth it. It shouldn't have mattered what other people thought. And once you get into that habit, it's very hard to break.
But it will get better as you get older, not only the issues you feel you have with your appearance will, but your simple ability to accept, maybe even some day appreciate, how you look.
Besides, you showed your picture in chat, everybody thought you were cute.

But for now, I recommend you buy the hat. Don't give a **** if anyone else has a problem with it, or you wearing it. You want it, get it.

 

[nerdygirl]

Oh, sweetie, why would you even want friends who would allow your interest in anime to negatively affect the way they see you? "Oh, well, I thought he was totally cool until I found out he likes Basilisk." What kind of pathetic person makes that an automatic cause for insult? Okay, I admit it. I'm one of those people who would rather be alone than be lonely while I'm with other people, and not everybody is like that... but still! I mean, we are talking about a HAT. We are talking about a hat, right? Not the Nekomimi by Neurowear? 'Cause yes, that is an expensive splurge if you might never wear it. It's not like you're talking about cosplaying as Rushuna Tendō.

So if it's just the hat, I agree that you should go for it. If any of your friends says something obnoxious, just laugh it off. You don't even have to get into some drawn out explanation of how you like anime. Just say it was cute and it made you laugh, so you got it. After all, a lot of people are wearing things like that these days.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Get the hat and then post a picture of you wearing that ************ proudly.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Get the hat and then post a picture of you wearing that ************ proudly.

This. Get the hat! Be yourself, don't care what other people think about you.

 

[A_T_Swordsman]

First and foremost, I did buy the hat (as for how much I'll wear it IDK)

But I do want to point out one thing.

Oh, sweetie, why would you even want friends who would allow your interest in anime to negatively affect the way they see you?

While it's nice to wish for friends who have such open perspectives in the world, I'm afraid that doesn't seem to be the case. I have, as far as I can tell, some of the most open perspective friends I can find in my classes and area, but even they fall short in some perspective issues. For example, nearly everyone in my major has a huge disrespect for all liberal-arts majors. Were I to switch to a liberal arts degree, I have no doubt nearly all of them would lose a lot of respect for me. Of course, I'm not considering that because I enjoy my degree, but one 'perspective issue' that a friend has doesn't make them a bad friend. It just means they have issues.

So, in short, just because they would make an irrational judgement about something arbitrary doesn't make them bad friends, or make me not want them as my friends.

 

[ajdass1]

Get the hat and then post a picture of you wearing that ************ proudly.

OMG YES THIS PLEASE

YES

And good on you for buying the hat

 

[nerdygirl]

Yes. Yes, it does make somebody a bad friend if they would turn on you specifically because you like anime. I'm not saying they're bad people, but bad friends? Heck yes.

Also, congrats on buying the hat!

 

[SophiaGrace]

Yes. Yes, it does make somebody a bad friend if they would turn on you specifically because you like anime. I'm not saying they're bad people, but bad friends? Heck yes.

+1